About the Gender Critical Support Board

[Marge Bouvier Simpson]

So thankful to have found this group.  I have read so many that are exactly like our story.  She went to college changed her name and has asked all her teachers to call her the new name and use the proper pronouns. I found out because the school sent an email with the changed name at first she said she didn’t want us to know until she was older because she knew we didn’t understand but that has now changed to her not feeling we support or respect her since we don’t use the new name and pronouns.  We tell her we don’t understand it and it’s not going to happen in our home.  We have a 6 year old to protect from all of this.  We don’t want him hearing about any of it. She has asked for me to take her shopping so she could buy clothes that she feels comfortable in.  She said she wanted guys pants and shirts.  I’m not doing that.  She said it makes her sad that we don’t support her.  I just don’t feel in my heart as a mom that this is who she is and i have a hard time supporting that.  She’s a gifted kid so she goes from one extreme to another and researched in depth on topics.  She’s a gamer and also has lots of online chat groups.  She’s 18 and in college so i can’t control that.  I’m nervous about her coming home for Christmas we want things to be normal again and we don’t want our 6 year olds Holiday ruined over this.  So confused and i feel so lost.  How do we know if this is real of just a phase?  She has PCOS which i have read can cause body dysphoria or gender issues.  We took her to her gynecologist and she just switched her birth control pills and said we needed to seek family counseling.  I’ve tracked hormonal changes based on when she talks about these issues. It’s usually week 3 of each month.  I feel she’s got a possible hormone imbalance but the dr didn’t even check that.  I’m glad to read so many parents are in the same boat as me.  I just want off this boat and back to normal again.  I’m begging for help here.

Hello, welcome to the forum. Your account has been activated. I encourage you to post your questions in the members-only area, because this public area doesn't get much traffic from forum members.

I'm sorry to hear about the situation. You are not alone.

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Hi, 
I've never been on a forum like this before.  Over the last year my daughter has told me she doesn't feel like a girl.  She's obsessed with looking at trans boys on Instagram and tick tock.  Cut all her hair off during lockdown in her room late at night.  Only wears hoodies up now.    She won't talk to me and refuses to allow me to tell her dad she's wants to be a boy or anyone else.  At her age I hated wearing a bra, makeup etc but when I try to get my experiences across to her for another view she shuts me down.  It's breaking my heart to see her do this to herself and her push me away.  I need help.  How to open communication, stop internet influences etc.  She has suspected Asperger's and anxiety.  Is very strong willed, the more I try and tackle it the more she will rebel.

Hi chicken, welcome to the forum. Your account has been activated.

I'm sorry to hear about all you and your daughter are dealing with. I encourage you to post your story in the members-only area, where it is more likely to be seen by other parent members and you are more likely to get responses.

Welcome to the forum. You are not alone.

[Guest]

Ive lost my log in details, any idea how i can retrieve them?

[Marge Bouvier Simpson]

[quote pid='44788' dateline='1610735819']
Ive lost my log in details, any idea how i can retrieve them?
[/quote]

Hello,

Check your email.

[momofthree2021]

I'm really glad to have found this group.  I feel like the last 5 years of my life have been an emotional roller coaster and it good to read others know exactly what this is like.
When my daughter was 17, she abruptly broke up with her boyfriend of 18 months and told him she was gay.  She cut her hair short and started experimenting with relationships with girls. Before this, she was sweet, had a lot of friends and never got in any trouble.(she still never gets in trouble and is an excellent student)
Then came so many phases; the vegetarian phase, gay phase, goth phase.  She became more judgmental and irritable and only hung out with the cool LGBT kids. She went off to college and ended up rooming with a trans girl. I had no idea.  They ended up having a relationship and sex. she decided she liked that she (the roommate) had a penis too, in her words the best of both worlds. She was bisexual for the summer. fast forward to sophomore year, now she says she is transgender.
I want to be supportive, but there have been so many phases, I just don't know what to believe. She has been in therapy for 2 years and the therapist has uncovered some things. She apparently was abused by her boyfriend.
I do believe young girls becoming transgender today is a phenomenon that is growing at epidemic rates. I can't recall a single interest she had in anything masculine growing up or any time she expressed being uncomfortable as a girl.  I also think the she has had difficulty finding friends and fitting in a group and the transgender community at her school has filled this void for her.  It is cult like and encouraged by social media Tumblr etc.
I don't know where to turn and feel I will lose her.

[Jdmum]

I'm really glad to have found this group.  I feel like the last 5 years of my life have been an emotional roller coaster and it good to read others know exactly what this is like.
When my daughter was 17, she abruptly broke up with her boyfriend of 18 months and told him she was gay.  She cut her hair short and started experimenting with relationships with girls. Before this, she was sweet, had a lot of friends and never got in any trouble.(she still never gets in trouble and is an excellent student)
Then came so many phases; the vegetarian phase, gay phase, goth phase.  She became more judgmental and irritable and only hung out with the cool LGBT kids. She went off to college and ended up rooming with a trans girl. I had no idea.  They ended up having a relationship and sex. she decided she liked that she (the roommate) had a penis too, in her words the best of both worlds. She was bisexual for the summer. fast forward to sophomore year, now she says she is transgender.
I want to be supportive, but there have been so many phases, I just don't know what to believe. She has been in therapy for 2 years and the therapist has uncovered some things. She apparently was abused by her boyfriend.
I do believe young girls becoming transgender today is a phenomenon that is growing at epidemic rates. I can't recall a single interest she had in anything masculine growing up or any time she expressed being uncomfortable as a girl.  I also think the she has had difficulty finding friends and fitting in a group and the transgender community at her school has filled this void for her.  It is cult like and encouraged by social media Tumblr etc.
I don't know where to turn and feel I will lose her.

Hi mum of three.  Once your account has been activated you will be able to access the members area where you will find a lot of parents going through the same as you x

[Adam77]

My ex husband left when my son was 10, he was devastated and it has been a difficult 4 years. He sees his dad but has found all the changes difficult. My ex moved in with his girlfriend and her son really quickly after he left and stopped spending time with my son on his own, he struggled with that. We moved to a different area an new school for my 14yr old son.  A group of girls kind of latched on to him. He doesn't make friends easy, struggles a bit. He's not very confident. He really liked one of the girls she was cutting her self, so he starts cutting himself too, but he's telling lots of people he's doing it. Hes lost lots of weight. Stopped cutting himself when he got this girl out his head, the cutting didn't last longer than two months. Now they are telling him he's camp, my son is not camp in any way, my family are confused as to why anyone would say he is camp. Now he announced on snap chat that he's biasexual, did not tell me first, within days he is wearing eyeliner and black nail polish saying he's an Emo. He's never been with anyone. He's not listening to me. I'm finding it really hard. 14yrs I'm struggling he's still my baby. He's now saying hes a girl and he wants to be a girl. His dad is fully supporting him even referring to him as a she and called him by his girls name. I can't I don't believe that he is. I have never saw any signs of this till this past year since he's been hanging out with this group ans he has a girlfriend who also says she's biasexual. I am struggling so much with this especially because me ex is so supportive of it.

[Marge Bouvier Simpson]

My ex husband left when my son was 10, he was devastated and it has been a difficult 4 years. He sees his dad but has found all the changes difficult. My ex moved in with his girlfriend and her son really quickly after he left and stopped spending time with my son on his own, he struggled with that. We moved to a different area an new school for my 14yr old son.  A group of girls kind of latched on to him. He doesn't make friends easy, struggles a bit. He's not very confident. He really liked one of the girls she was cutting her self, so he starts cutting himself too, but he's telling lots of people he's doing it. Hes lost lots of weight. Stopped cutting himself when he got this girl out his head, the cutting didn't last longer than two months. Now they are telling him he's camp, my son is not camp in any way, my family are confused as to why anyone would say he is camp. Now he announced on snap chat that he's biasexual, did not tell me first, within days he is wearing eyeliner and black nail polish saying he's an Emo. He's never been with anyone. He's not listening to me. I'm finding it really hard. 14yrs I'm struggling he's still my baby. He's now saying hes a girl and he wants to be a girl. His dad is fully supporting him even referring to him as a she and called him by his girls name. I can't I don't believe that he is. I have never saw any signs of this till this past year since he's been hanging out with this group ans he has a girlfriend who also says she's biasexual. I am struggling so much with this especially because me ex is so supportive of it.

Hello Adam77,
I'm sorry to hear about all that's happening with your son and that your ex isn't questioning it like you are. This makes an already difficult situation even more so. 

Welcome to the forum. I hope you'll find it helpful. 

You are not alone.

[sheana-linn]

Hello, I am new here. I recently discovered that my gaming addicted (discord/twitter user) son identifies as a girl, trans MTF. He uses an anime avatar on his social media accounts, and after all my research this weekend, I see the correlation there. He doesn't know that I know, because I came across this discovery by my own resourcefulness. He has sunken into a deep depression over the last year, and he claims not to sleep, says his mind won't stop which causes the insomnia. He hasn't mentioned being depressed, but a mother knows. I limit the games when i can, but am not always home, and my boys are at their father's half the time, so.....They will always find a way to get online anyway. He goes by a female name he has chosen for himself. I'm just so grateful I found this forum, by way of 4thWaveNow blog (also so grateful for). This was after two days of crying and coming to a form of acceptance that I would have a daughter (who ironically likes girls acccording to the conversations he has with his online trans friends <shakes head>). Anyway, just saying hello and looking for more learning and support here.

[YoYo]

Do I have to do something to get to members area? Desperate for some help.

[Marge Bouvier Simpson]

Hello, I am new here. I recently discovered that my gaming addicted (discord/twitter user) son identifies as a girl, trans MTF. He uses an anime avatar on his social media accounts, and after all my research this weekend, I see the correlation there. He doesn't know that I know, because I came across this discovery by my own resourcefulness. He has sunken into a deep depression over the last year, and he claims not to sleep, says his mind won't stop which causes the insomnia. He hasn't mentioned being depressed, but a mother knows. I limit the games when i can, but am not always home, and my boys are at their father's half the time, so.....They will always find a way to get online anyway. He goes by a female name he has chosen for himself. I'm just so grateful I found this forum, by way of 4thWaveNow blog (also so grateful for). This was after two days of crying and coming to a form of acceptance that I would have a daughter (who ironically likes girls acccording to the conversations he has with his online trans friends <shakes head>).  Anyway, just saying hello and looking for more learning and support here.

Hello, Sheanna Linn, and welcome to the board. I'm sorry to hear about your son's troubles. Your story sounds extremely familiar.

Your account has been activated. You are not alone.

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Do I have to do something to get to members area?  Desperate for some help.

Hello YoYo,

Thanks for your patience. All accounts must be manually activated by a moderator, which can take some time depending upon moderator availability.

Your account has now been activated and you now have access to all areas of the forum, including the members-only area. Welcome to the forum. I hope you find it helpful.

You are not alone.