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+--- Thread: Our Discussion Topics (/showthread.php?tid=331)
RE: Our Discussion Topics - Sal - 29-Dec-2018
I don’t know how to navigate this forum. I just joined today. I feel very scared and alone. I have a 15 year old daughter, who’s insistent that she’s male. She claims that she’s always felt this way, but she never said anything until last year. There were never any signs of gender dysphoria until the past year. In my opinion, her problems started with early puberty. Her period began at 10 1/2. She developed a woman’s body at a young age/before she was psychologically ready. She has recently had painful periods, so I’m taking her to a gynecologist who specializes in adolescents. She occasionally sees a therapist (limited schedule), who thinks that this is my child’s form of rebellion. My teen is bright, creative, articulate and manipulative. It’s impossible to have a conversation with her about her gender, because doesn’t hear me at all. I’m terrified that my child will continue clinging to her conviction that she’s male, start testosterone as an adult, and then change her mind. How can I get her to consider the possibility that maybe she hates her body due to puberty and not gender dysphoria? I don’t know how to help her
RE: Our Discussion Topics - Marge Bouvier Simpson - 29-Dec-2018
(29-Dec-2018, 09:20 PM)Sal Wrote: I don’t know how to navigate this forum. (…)
Hi Sal, and welcome. All new members must be manually approved before they gain access to the members-only forum, so sometimes it takes a bit before a moderator gets to them for approval.
Your membership has now been approved. You should have access to the members-only forum now. Please post back if you do not have access.
Your story sounds all too familiar. I recommend reposting your story inside the members-only forum, as it will likely be seen by more members and get more responses there. You will find many parents are in your situation, and many have kids with almost identical stories.
I will go ahead and say here that if your daughter's therapist believes claiming a male persona is a form of rebellion, I would hang on tight to that therapist. Most of us have found it incredibly difficult to find a therapist who does not immediately affirm a trans identity and recommend parents get on board with a new name, new pronouns, and an appointment with a gender clinic to see about transition. If you've found a therapist willing to look at the entire picture and all possibilities rather than simply stating "if she says she is trans, then she is trans," you are ahead of most of us.
RE: Our Discussion Topics - Waitingtoexhale - 30-Dec-2018
(29-Dec-2018, 10:32 PM)Marge Bouvier Simpson Wrote:(29-Dec-2018, 09:20 PM)Sal Wrote: Hi Marge, I think I’m waiting for manual verification as well but I wanted to confirm. I received the code etc but I can’t find any members only area.
Hi Sal, and welcome. All new members must be manually approved before they gain access to the members-only forum, so sometimes it takes a bit before a moderator gets to them for approval.
Your membership has now been approved. You should have access to the members-only forum now. Please post back if you do not have access.
Your story sounds all too familiar. I recommend reposting your story inside the members-only forum, as it will likely be seen by more members and get more responses there. You will find many parents are in your situation, and many have kids with almost identical stories.
I will go ahead and say here that if your daughter's therapist believes claiming a male persona is a form of rebellion, I would hang on tight to that therapist. Most of us have found it incredibly difficult to find a therapist who does not immediately affirm a trans identity and recommend parents get on board with a new name, new pronouns, and an appointment with a gender clinic to see about transition. If you've found a therapist willing to look at the entire picture and all possibilities rather than simply stating "if she says she is trans, then she is trans," you are ahead of most of us.
RE: Our Discussion Topics - Marge Bouvier Simpson - 31-Dec-2018
Hi Waitingtoexhale, I have just manually approved your membership, which should be the last step required for access to the members-only forum. Sorry, I've been out and it took a while before I could get to it. You should see the entire forum now. If not, post back here and let me know. Welcome.
RE: Our Discussion Topics - anon - 31-Dec-2018
(16-May-2018, 02:39 PM)Condemned Wrote: MomofOne, I am sure that GCDAD will your post to the safest and most appropriate place. However, I just wanted to say that sexual trauma is one of the top reasons for transitioning. You have come to the right place for a support group.
Actually, LGBTQ+ people experience sexual violence at similar or higher rates than heterosexuals according to the CDC. There are no articles I could find to support your claim that sexual trauma has anything to do with transitioning, let alone being a 'top reason'. If you could cite your source, I would be happy to look at it! I am not trying to accuse you of fabrication, but it is a very very strong claim to make, especially without providing a citation.
RE: Our Discussion Topics - GCDad - 01-Jan-2019
(31-Dec-2018, 11:10 PM)anon Wrote:(16-May-2018, 02:39 PM)Condemned Wrote: MomofOne, I am sure that GCDAD will your post to the safest and most appropriate place. However, I just wanted to say that sexual trauma is one of the top reasons for transitioning. You have come to the right place for a support group.
Actually, LGBTQ+ people experience sexual violence at similar or higher rates than heterosexuals according to the CDC. There are no articles I could find to support your claim that sexual trauma has anything to do with transitioning, let alone being a 'top reason'. If you could cite your source, I would be happy to look at it! I am not trying to accuse you of fabrication, but it is a very very strong claim to make, especially without providing a citation.
I've only approved this post to make this reply:
This place is not here for trans activists to try and drag parents, who are going thru a dreadful time, into pointless arguments.
RE: Our Discussion Topics - GCDad - 13-Jan-2019
I'm so glad you found us. Please do explore the rest of the board https://gendercriticalresources.com/Support/forumdisplay.php?fid=1. We are all in much the same boat, none of us are experts, we are all making it up as we go along, trying to keep it together and balance being true, caring for our kids and keeping the rest of the family together.
(12-Jan-2019, 08:03 PM)mndad Wrote:Hi GC! I'm so thankful to find this forum. I've been feeling very isolated. My daughter, now 22, came out as trans 3 years ago. I believe she was suffering from depression, dissociation, and possibly misogyny at the time. She acquired an online friend with mental health issues, and was helping this person; but over time, the interpersonal influence shifted, unknown to me. I had many discussions with her about her mental health and the implications of her choices. But she persisted, especially when we moved to a new city when she was 20. The local clinic immediately approved her for transition, and she began testosterone treatments a little over a year ago, honoring my rule not to pursue transition before her 21st birthday and while living in my house. She recently had a double mastectomy, and is pursuing a relationship with a young man who believes himself to be a woman. My daughter is a brilliant kid, having obtained her bachelor's degree in English before her 19th birthday, but has become lost in her identity. My wife does not agree with my daughter's choice, but wants to "support" her, noticing how much more "well adjusted" my daughter has become since beginning transition. Local support groups are all about approval; I don't fit with them. I am also months away from an MSW worker with clinical concentration, hoping to find a position as therapist/counselor and offer help to gender-confused individuals. I am also a Christ-follower and hold a biblical view of the world, which means treating LGBT people (and everyone for that matter) with both compassion and truth. I'm looking forward to walking this path with y'all.
RE: Our Discussion Topics - Barrett - 27-Feb-2019
Hello everyone,
We have a daughter now at university reading music and in those terms doing quite well. Once away from us she changed her name and sex (not quite sure how, but there you go), convinced her GP to give her T and proceeded to call the police on her mother for harassment when she made the 200 mile trip to try and talk to her. Now almost completely estranged. My wife and I at our wit's end as everybody ignored a top psychiatrist's report on her a few years ago where he said the problems she had were not classically gender-related. But try and criticise and you are trans-phobic and the police are called. It is extremely worrying that damage is being done and we are powerless. Has anybody managed to turn their child around? Paul
RE: Our Discussion Topics - Marge Bouvier Simpson - 27-Feb-2019
Hello, Paul.
I'm so sorry to hear about your daughter's poor medical treatment, and of the estrangement, of course. Your membership has been activated, meaning you now have access to the members-only forums. Consider re-posting your above post there, where you will likely get more responses.
Welcome.
RE: Our Discussion Topics - Marge Bouvier Simpson - 05-Mar-2019
Hello, Imataloss. Welcome.
Yes, it is so interesting that we tell virtually the same story over and over. I'm sorry to hear of yet another family affected by this. Your account has been activated; hope to see you "inside."