20-Sep-2024, 03:07 PM
I'm the step-dad of a 14 year old boy who has had severe behavioral problems and mental health issues throughout the 7 years I've known him. At various points he was basically unable to attend school due to violent tantrums and disruptive behavior. He was eventually assessed by a child psychologist and diagnosed with ADHD and depression (pre COVID). He was put on medication, which worked wonders, but a year ago one of his (overly involved) grandparents convinced him to stop and its been a downward spiral ever since.
At the end of the last school year, we were informed by the guidance counsellor that his friends were gravely concerned that he was suicidal. Unfortunately, the doctor who was following him closed her practice, so we had to take him to the local children's hospital, where he was assessed. They diagnosed him with severe depression and nearly admitted him as an in patient, but at the last minute sent him home for out patient care. He has since refused to any follow up appointments with their team, while his condition is steadily getting worse, including leaving the house in the middle of the night and disappearing for hours. We are completely in the dark, as he refuses to talk to any family members. All we know is that there was drama in his friend group last year and persistent bullying at school, which we didn't know about.
This month he started high school and has been skipping classes every day for reasons no one will tell us about...because of "confidentiality." Now, of course, his guidance counsellor, who's known him for all of 5 minutes, and certainly is not aware of the full extent of his mental health history, has called in the school board's "gender" counsellor. That was her immediate go to solution. He has never exhibited any gender dysphoric behaviors or interests, until this past summer when he started buying pink clothes and wanting to get his ears pierced.
Like I said we are completely in the dark and aren't being told anything, so we don't actually know what's going on. But based on everything I've read about the trans phenomenon, my step-son is fits the exact demographic of kids that get pushed down this ideological pipeline. So I'm very concerned where this all is going and that there is no way to prevent it once the school system gets involved.
I've always been very liberal and open minded about sexual orientation and gender identity issues. My step-daughter came out as gay a few years ago and we have been very supportive of her in that journey. However, her friend circle, which my step son is part of, is made up primarily of gender non-conforming kids, so I feel like there may be social pressure involved. I generally don't care about how people (especially adults) want to express their identity (through appearance or pronouns or names, etc), but I have very serious reservations about the more extreme elements of the ideology and the risk of medicalization, which is a road of no return.
At the same time, I'm just the stepdad. No one really takes my point of view seriously. Even though I'm an academic and am immersed in this ideology on a daily basis and have read about it extensively. My wife, his mother, is desperate to find a magic bullet solution after years of heartache and struggle. I don't expect anyone will care about my take on this issue and I don't want to make myself the enemy or have it destroy my marriage. So maybe I should just keep my mouth shut. That being said, there are certainly things I just won't be able to get on board with.
Like I said, I don't really know what's going on. I'm just concerned we're on a precipice and that once things are in motion, which I suspect they already are, there's no way to course correct.
At the end of the last school year, we were informed by the guidance counsellor that his friends were gravely concerned that he was suicidal. Unfortunately, the doctor who was following him closed her practice, so we had to take him to the local children's hospital, where he was assessed. They diagnosed him with severe depression and nearly admitted him as an in patient, but at the last minute sent him home for out patient care. He has since refused to any follow up appointments with their team, while his condition is steadily getting worse, including leaving the house in the middle of the night and disappearing for hours. We are completely in the dark, as he refuses to talk to any family members. All we know is that there was drama in his friend group last year and persistent bullying at school, which we didn't know about.
This month he started high school and has been skipping classes every day for reasons no one will tell us about...because of "confidentiality." Now, of course, his guidance counsellor, who's known him for all of 5 minutes, and certainly is not aware of the full extent of his mental health history, has called in the school board's "gender" counsellor. That was her immediate go to solution. He has never exhibited any gender dysphoric behaviors or interests, until this past summer when he started buying pink clothes and wanting to get his ears pierced.
Like I said we are completely in the dark and aren't being told anything, so we don't actually know what's going on. But based on everything I've read about the trans phenomenon, my step-son is fits the exact demographic of kids that get pushed down this ideological pipeline. So I'm very concerned where this all is going and that there is no way to prevent it once the school system gets involved.
I've always been very liberal and open minded about sexual orientation and gender identity issues. My step-daughter came out as gay a few years ago and we have been very supportive of her in that journey. However, her friend circle, which my step son is part of, is made up primarily of gender non-conforming kids, so I feel like there may be social pressure involved. I generally don't care about how people (especially adults) want to express their identity (through appearance or pronouns or names, etc), but I have very serious reservations about the more extreme elements of the ideology and the risk of medicalization, which is a road of no return.
At the same time, I'm just the stepdad. No one really takes my point of view seriously. Even though I'm an academic and am immersed in this ideology on a daily basis and have read about it extensively. My wife, his mother, is desperate to find a magic bullet solution after years of heartache and struggle. I don't expect anyone will care about my take on this issue and I don't want to make myself the enemy or have it destroy my marriage. So maybe I should just keep my mouth shut. That being said, there are certainly things I just won't be able to get on board with.
Like I said, I don't really know what's going on. I'm just concerned we're on a precipice and that once things are in motion, which I suspect they already are, there's no way to course correct.
