27-Oct-2020, 02:06 AM
(26-Oct-2020, 07:42 PM)iwantobenormal Wrote: I am a straight-A graduate student, "assigned female at birth," who is almost 30, and I have been having transgender thoughts and feelings for over a decade that occasionally impact my mood. Lately it's been tough. I'm hoping if I surround myself with people who don't approve of that sort of thing, I can successfully get the thoughts and feelings to go away again.
Hi iwantobenormal,
Welcome. I'm sorry you've been struggling, and struggling for more than 10 years, at that. I hope that you'll find the forum useful or helpful, though we are not therapists, we are just parents who are struggling ourselves. We are dealing with the absolute shock of a kid telling us out of the blue that they are trans, though they showed zero or very little gender nonconforming behavior prior, and no signs of being unhappy with their sex or wishing to be the opposite sex. Then we are shocked again when we seek professional help for our kids, and are told during the first session with the professional that there's no need for psychological exploration because our kid is trans if they say they're trans, and here's a pamphlet from the local pediatric gender center, we need to give them a call to set up an appointment to discuss blockers and hormones.
So it's not that we "don't approve of that sort of thing" as you put it, it's that when it comes to kids and young adults -- many of whom have never explored their sexuality, gone on a date or had their first kiss, many of whom are dealing with mental health issues related to autism, ADHD and OCD, many of whom are dealing with unresolved trauma -- we don't believe it is wise or appropriate to immediately affirm them as trans and let them believe transitioning will magically end their woes. We'd prefer our kids wait it out as you have done, while resolving their mental health issues if possible, embracing their gender nonconformity and accepting the fact they cannot change their sex.
As an adult who is almost 30, you certainly have entered a point in your life when you do not need parents or strangers to approve of your decisions. At the same time, if you "want to be normal," there are ways that others have managed their dysphoria without transition. However, you may be familiar with all these strategies already if you've been dysphoric for over a decade, and perhaps these methods have not worked for you.
Could our members help "talk you down" from being trans? I don't know. I guess it is possible, however, most of us are sad, weary, traumatized and hurting. Despite our own troubles, we are a caring, thoughtful group who may be able to provide you with some comfort, general advice and perhaps even friendship. There are probably other groups that are closer to what you're looking for, like u/detrans on reddit, but we are happy to help if we can.
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