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Our Discussion Topics
(26-Feb-2021, 05:10 AM)Betterdaysahead Wrote: Hey there, I’m not sure if I’m posting this correctly, but here it goes. My 13 year old daughter recently came to me and said she is a boy. It’ was out of the blue, and so confusing. She is internationally adopted, has always been socially awkward, because of COVID, she’s been home and online for the past year. She’s never had many friends, but has developed a “friend” group online. I feel bad because I wasn’t monitoring her online use like I should have... I had no idea that there were so many different terms on gender and sexual orientation. She said while she was researching things to help her friends through their transitions, she realized that she’s actually transgender. She said these friends started calling her by different pronouns, and that it felt really good.

I probably didn’t handle it the best when she told me. I was angry and she said I made it about me, and that I made her feel awful, because she was already doubting herself. Now that’s she’s told me, and I’ve told her I don’t agree, she is digging her heels in even harder. We will continue to use her name, we still use girl pronouns, we’ve taken away her phone and computer, but I’m still so scared, confused, angry, etc.

I don’t want to do or say the wrong thing... maybe I’m the one that’s wrong in this situation. I don’t know? This whole thing just sucks, and I never in my wildest thoughts would have predicted we’d be going through this! Any advice would be greatly appreciated on how to navigate, what to say, and tips to help her. Thank you!!!

Hello, Betterdaysahead,

Welcome to the forum. Your account has been activated. I invite you to post in the members-only area, as forum members don't frequent this public portion of the forum too often. In the members-only area, in addition to getting more replies to your questions, you'll also find lots of support and advice.

I will say your situation sounds very familiar. You mention your daughter was adopted internationally; it seems these kids are overrepresented (as are all adoptees, really) among kids who come to believe they are trans. It's hypothesized adoptees are more susceptible to identity questioning, which makes sense.

Welcome to the forum. You are not alone.
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Messages In This Thread
Our Discussion Topics - by Seeker - 31-Oct-2017, 03:33 PM
RE: Our Discussion Topics - by GilMom - 22-Feb-2018, 12:05 AM
RE: Our Discussion Topics - by Just Another Mom - 22-Feb-2018, 01:04 AM
RE: Our Discussion Topics - by EverHopeful - 22-Feb-2018, 01:05 AM
Help needed - by Confusedparent - 10-Mar-2018, 04:09 PM
RE: Help needed - by candycigs - 10-Mar-2018, 06:55 PM
RE: Help needed - by Daughtersmom - 21-Mar-2018, 02:31 PM
RE: Help needed - by Babs - 22-Mar-2018, 01:52 AM
RE: Help needed - by Babs - 11-Apr-2018, 02:04 PM
RE: Help needed - by Dbfrogger - 16-Apr-2019, 05:43 AM
RE: Our Discussion Topics - by dougpounds - 25-Mar-2018, 12:44 AM
RE: Our Discussion Topics - by Heroshero - 06-Apr-2018, 08:18 AM
RE: Our Discussion Topics - by puzzled - 06-Apr-2018, 04:09 PM
RE: Our Discussion Topics - by missingmyboy - 09-Apr-2018, 06:02 PM
RE: Our Discussion Topics - by Kacie Chitwood - 08-Aug-2019, 03:42 AM
RE: Our Discussion Topics - by dougpounds - 06-Apr-2018, 12:24 PM
RE: Our Discussion Topics - by Kellogmom - 06-Apr-2018, 07:19 PM
RE: Our Discussion Topics - by Lizzie - 08-Apr-2018, 02:02 PM
RE: Our Discussion Topics - by Heroshero - 11-Apr-2018, 04:44 PM
RE: Our Discussion Topics - by doodlemom - 24-Dec-2018, 10:39 PM
RE: Our Discussion Topics - by Lane - 08-Apr-2018, 07:34 PM
RE: Our Discussion Topics - by Libby - 09-Apr-2018, 06:23 PM
RE: Our Discussion Topics - by Seeker - 09-Apr-2018, 07:21 PM
RE: Our Discussion Topics - by Libby - 09-Apr-2018, 07:28 PM
RE: Our Discussion Topics - by Libby - 10-Apr-2018, 11:27 AM
RE: Our Discussion Topics - by pvgirl - 21-Oct-2020, 09:50 PM
RE: Our Discussion Topics - by EverHopeful - 09-Apr-2018, 07:36 PM
RE: Our Discussion Topics - by missingmyboy - 10-Apr-2018, 01:05 PM
RE: Our Discussion Topics - by Libby - 10-Apr-2018, 04:41 PM
RE: Our Discussion Topics - by EverHopeful - 10-Apr-2018, 07:21 PM
RE: Our Discussion Topics - by missingmyboy - 11-Apr-2018, 12:23 PM
RE: Our Discussion Topics - by Guest - 11-Apr-2018, 06:55 PM
RE: Our Discussion Topics - by nikkfitt - 19-Apr-2018, 02:49 AM
RE: Our Discussion Topics - by Hockey4 - 13-May-2018, 12:49 AM
RE: Our Discussion Topics - by MomOfOne - 16-May-2018, 04:19 AM
RE: Our Discussion Topics - by Condemned - 16-May-2018, 02:39 PM
RE: Our Discussion Topics - by anon - 31-Dec-2018, 11:10 PM
RE: Our Discussion Topics - by GCDad - 01-Jan-2019, 12:38 AM
RE: Our Discussion Topics - by Guest - 17-May-2018, 07:22 AM
RE: Our Discussion Topics - by GCDad - 17-May-2018, 09:15 AM
RE: Our Discussion Topics - by georgie11 - 06-Jun-2018, 12:05 AM
RE: Our Discussion Topics - by AtALoss - 22-Jun-2018, 03:35 PM
RE: Our Discussion Topics - by mom1211 - 25-Jun-2018, 06:02 PM
RE: Our Discussion Topics - by lovethefall - 26-Jun-2018, 01:11 PM
RE: Our Discussion Topics - by Guest - 01-Jul-2018, 08:05 PM
RE: Our Discussion Topics - by GCDad - 01-Jul-2018, 11:19 PM
RE: Our Discussion Topics - by ajbeth68 - 04-Aug-2018, 03:01 AM
RE: Our Discussion Topics - by Alana - 02-Oct-2018, 09:21 PM
RE: Our Discussion Topics - by Condemned - 02-Oct-2018, 11:14 PM
RE: Our Discussion Topics - by Alana - 03-Oct-2018, 12:09 AM
RE: Our Discussion Topics - by Maddysmum - 23-Oct-2018, 04:36 PM
RE: Our Discussion Topics - by DolphinMomma - 28-Dec-2018, 01:17 AM
RE: Our Discussion Topics - by Momortwo - 04-Dec-2018, 05:13 AM
RE: Our Discussion Topics - by Garland_ - 04-Dec-2018, 10:18 PM
RE: Our Discussion Topics - by Seeker - 28-Dec-2018, 02:04 AM
RE: Our Discussion Topics - by Sal - 29-Dec-2018, 09:20 PM
RE: Our Discussion Topics - by Waitingtoexhale - 30-Dec-2018, 09:23 PM
RE: Our Discussion Topics - by Barrett - 27-Feb-2019, 07:07 PM
RE: Our Discussion Topics - by lckystarr - 17-Apr-2019, 01:19 PM
RE: Our Discussion Topics - by Dispparent - 19-Apr-2019, 09:29 PM
RE: Our Discussion Topics - by Guest - 17-Apr-2019, 01:44 PM
RE: Our Discussion Topics - by eioffer - 26-Jul-2019, 03:50 AM
RE: Our Discussion Topics - by Hummingbird - 26-Jul-2019, 04:13 AM
RE: Our Discussion Topics - by gemdamon - 07-Aug-2019, 10:42 PM
RE: Our Discussion Topics - by Cailleach - 29-Aug-2019, 11:39 AM
RE: Our Discussion Topics - by tommyboy - 03-Sep-2019, 03:32 PM
RE: Our Discussion Topics - by justkym - 29-Nov-2019, 02:29 PM
RE: Our Discussion Topics - by Wonderhearts - 30-Nov-2019, 09:08 PM
RE: Our Discussion Topics - by Kristina - 28-Dec-2019, 03:43 PM
RE: Our Discussion Topics - by Guest - 19-Jan-2020, 08:58 PM
RE: Our Discussion Topics - by Mtnmum777 - 27-Feb-2020, 01:26 PM
RE: Our Discussion Topics - by Zoomo - 27-Feb-2020, 08:24 PM
RE: Our Discussion Topics - by Surprise! - 16-Mar-2020, 12:45 PM
RE: Our Discussion Topics - by Brookiema79 - 07-Jun-2020, 02:10 PM
RE: Our Discussion Topics - by Treadinginwater - 16-Jun-2020, 07:00 PM
RE: Our Discussion Topics - by Jdmum - 16-Jun-2020, 10:01 PM
RE: Our Discussion Topics - by dharma blade - 03-Aug-2020, 10:13 PM
RE: Our Discussion Topics - by MikeD - 13-Sep-2020, 03:36 AM
RE: Our Discussion Topics - by Dadof2 - 13-Sep-2020, 10:13 PM
RE: Our Discussion Topics - by Fading Hope - 27-Sep-2020, 03:25 AM
RE: Our Discussion Topics - by Dadof2 - 27-Sep-2020, 03:36 PM
RE: Our Discussion Topics - by Fading Hope - 27-Sep-2020, 10:50 PM
RE: Our Discussion Topics - by MLG - 05-Oct-2020, 01:31 AM
RE: Our Discussion Topics - by Ngir - 13-Oct-2020, 11:30 AM
RE: Our Discussion Topics - by Guest - 20-Oct-2020, 06:10 AM
RE: Our Discussion Topics - by adogslife - 20-Oct-2020, 10:25 PM
RE: Our Discussion Topics - by iwantobenormal - 26-Oct-2020, 07:42 PM
RE: Our Discussion Topics - by Whisper - 03-Nov-2020, 12:32 AM
RE: Our Discussion Topics - by Gonegirl - 16-Nov-2020, 04:20 AM
RE: Our Discussion Topics - by Lala2010 - 18-Nov-2020, 05:42 PM
RE: Our Discussion Topics - by Jdmum - 19-Nov-2020, 12:17 AM
RE: Our Discussion Topics - by Jabberwok - 09-Dec-2020, 07:15 PM
RE: Our Discussion Topics - by InNeedOfAdvice - 29-Dec-2020, 06:27 PM
RE: Our Discussion Topics - by Peppin - 02-Jan-2021, 12:40 PM
RE: Our Discussion Topics - by Jdmum - 02-Jan-2021, 12:47 PM
RE: Our Discussion Topics - by Betterdaysahead - 26-Feb-2021, 05:10 AM
RE: Our Discussion Topics - by Marge Bouvier Simpson - 26-Feb-2021, 06:52 PM
RE: Our Discussion Topics - by TChealing - 08-Apr-2021, 06:05 PM

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