26-Feb-2021, 05:10 AM
Hey there, I’m not sure if I’m posting this correctly, but here it goes. My 13 year old daughter recently came to me and said she is a boy. It’ was out of the blue, and so confusing. She is internationally adopted, has always been socially awkward, because of COVID, she’s been home and online for the past year. She’s never had many friends, but has developed a “friend” group online. I feel bad because I wasn’t monitoring her online use like I should have... I had no idea that there were so many different terms on gender and sexual orientation. She said while she was researching things to help her friends through their transitions, she realized that she’s actually transgender. She said these friends started calling her by different pronouns, and that it felt really good.
I probably didn’t handle it the best when she told me. I was angry and she said I made it about me, and that I made her feel awful, because she was already doubting herself. Now that’s she’s told me, and I’ve told her I don’t agree, she is digging her heels in even harder. We will continue to use her name, we still use girl pronouns, we’ve taken away her phone and computer, but I’m still so scared, confused, angry, etc.
I don’t want to do or say the wrong thing... maybe I’m the one that’s wrong in this situation. I don’t know? This whole thing just sucks, and I never in my wildest thoughts would have predicted we’d be going through this! Any advice would be greatly appreciated on how to navigate, what to say, and tips to help her. Thank you!!!
I probably didn’t handle it the best when she told me. I was angry and she said I made it about me, and that I made her feel awful, because she was already doubting herself. Now that’s she’s told me, and I’ve told her I don’t agree, she is digging her heels in even harder. We will continue to use her name, we still use girl pronouns, we’ve taken away her phone and computer, but I’m still so scared, confused, angry, etc.
I don’t want to do or say the wrong thing... maybe I’m the one that’s wrong in this situation. I don’t know? This whole thing just sucks, and I never in my wildest thoughts would have predicted we’d be going through this! Any advice would be greatly appreciated on how to navigate, what to say, and tips to help her. Thank you!!!