29-Dec-2020, 06:27 PM
Hello. I guess my story is the same as many others on this site. My 13 year old daughter came to me and told me that she was non-binary about 6 months ago. Then she said she was trans and when I asked her about it she said that non-binary is a form of trans but then last night she made a comment about waiting until she was an adult to transition. This came out of the blue. She never gave any indication that she wanted to be a boy. She got her period about 6 months prior to her announcing this and also had a "boyfriend" who "cheated" on her. I put quotes because I don't think they ever even held hands and although the "cheating" was him making out with a now former friend of hers who seems to be heading in the direction of teen pregnancy. This girl is the girl who announced one day that my daughter was now "dating" this boy. She was a problem to me in that she would tie her shirt up to show her belly and my daughter started doing the same. After all this happened she cut off all her hair, wears 3 bras in an attempt to bind herself and wears her older brothers old clothes. She has a TikTok account where she is very popular doing cosplay of boys and all the comments refer to her as a "king" and a boy. I don't even recognize her anymore. I found a piece of paper where she wrote all over it about being trans like "it's not a phase" etc and one of the comments was "boys can never hurt me again". Maybe it's in response to this boy who hurt her? She went from being one of the most popular girls in school to being pretty much antisocial and only associating with one or two friends who will tolerate her constant obsession with the LGBTQ community. EVERYTHING in her life is about LGBTQ now. She is extremely obsessed with it. Like others, I wish I never got her a phone or laptop. Now that the pandemic has hit and she does school online I cannot get rid of her laptop or the internet and I feel helpless with what she watches and who she communicates with. I have a son who is 15 and she has a twin sister who is 13 so whenever I try to change the rules regarding their devices and internet I am severely gained up on. I am also a single parent with no father around so it is just me. I feel outnumbered. I feel overwhelmed. I feel helpless and heartbroken. I miss my daughter. On the plus side she has no problem talking to me about this as long as I listen and don't say anything that isn't to her liking. She is increasingly moody and will fly off the handle easily and then just as easily be back to normal in her mood. The school calls her a "he" and her "preferred name" like she requested. It really annoys me how me as a parent has no say in any of this with them. I have tried really hard to be supportive and I let her have her own fashion, decorations in her room etc but I won't call her by a different name or pronoun. I just can't do it. It makes her mad but she has seemed to let go of her anger over that part. I told her that I worked really hard on coming up with the best name for her and that because of that, I want to continue using her name that I gave her. I just keep waiting for this nightmare to be over. My other two kids don't understand why it's such a big deal to me. My friends tell me that I should be supportive and do what she asks like I am this terrible intolerant person. I'm not. I have always raised my kids to believe that race, sex, religion are to be respected so I guess I feel like a bit of a hypocrite but it is def a different sceneiro when it's YOUR child who wants to changer her sex. I am all alone. I just want to yell at her and tell her to quit all this BS and force her to be her old self. I don't of course do that but I wish so much that it would be that simple and that she would change back. I keep waiting for the day that she tells me she's changed her mind. I'm still waiting. I just truly don't believe that she is transgender. I don't know if this pandemic in combination with the boy she dated and her period manifested this? I just NEED this to stop. I want my daughter back. I want to be able to take away all social media, internet, everything but I feel like I am just in so deep now with these kids. I am just finding this all so hard to deal with and it just gets harder every day. I try to listen to her when she goes on and on about being trans and how her "x" calls her an "it" and how she seems to take some sort of pleasure in that and just her going on and on about being trans in general but how can I share in her new found "joy" of all of this when it breaks my heart? Anyways, thank you for listening.
