16-Nov-2020, 05:53 AM
(16-Nov-2020, 04:20 AM)Gonegirl Wrote: I just poured myself a half a cup of coffee at almost 9 pm because I wanted to finally post in a safe environment. We have been going through hell for over two years on our mental health journey with our 14-year-old daughter. The non-binary, trans, gender fluid issue is newer and evolving as more time passes and with each additional treatment program. While the main focus for what should be therapy and coping skills for pervasive and persistent depression and anxiety, it ends up getting hijacked by "why won't you call me by my new name?. . .Yeah but my parents don't use the right pronouns" to tears and isolating herself because I won't buy her a chest binder for Christmas.
My daughter will yell at us in therapy that she doesn't have any friends but up through mid-fifth grade she made friends easily, and was athletic. Our daughter always was always very active and had a natural athletic drive. I had our kids in activities so they could try different things, see what they liked and what they might be good at and meet other kids. By sixth grade her energy level in activities and friends had plummeted. I didn't understand or realize why she was taking on-line medical quizzes: "Maybe I'm this, Maybe I'm bipolar," I would hear her tell a friend. Right before seventh grade, she broke down in tears that she had this overwhelming sadness and she didn't know why.
Two years later, as parents we are exhausted by the multiple hospitalizations, treatment programs and honestly the non-gender specific pronouns. What may feel like a sense of belonging in treatment groups or friends online looks small and isolates them from most of their peers at school who are enjoying activities, goofy fun and dreaming of their futures.
I realize that many of these "professionals" risk losing their jobs and credentials if they don't go along with this new agenda but this approach and 54 different gender descriptions on social media don't help kids who are struggling with other issues. It adds another layer to the main problem and interferes in the process of getting effective treatment. Our daughter loved sports, playing outside, any physical feat, pink cowboy boots, purses and seeing friends and family. Now saying tomboy isn't pc. I long for those days and hope our dearly loved little girl isn't gone for good. We need the real help from professionals who can teach are kids to love themselves not conform to a new identity. You are not alone.
Thank you for this forum. I found the link on 4thWaveNow which was mentioned in a book I'm reading. Thank you for this.
Hello, and welcome. I'm so sorry to hear about your daughter's troubles. Your account has been activated.
You are not alone.
