16-Jun-2020, 10:01 PM
(16-Jun-2020, 07:00 PM)Parker005 Wrote: Hello everyone:Hi Parker005
We are on day two of my daughter is exploring the idea of trying on boy for size. I do not mean that to downplay anything. She is exploring options. I want to put a lot of context below, and apologize in advance. I am the father
She has feminine mannerisms, and loves lighter brighter colors. A matter a fact we are going to paint a cubby area for her art projects in Pink (We do not push so all choices are hers). She is light hearted, and has more girl friends than boy friends. She broke up with a boy last year, and she cried and was very upset. This lasted days. Eventually they became friends again.
She likes to go outside, likes nature, and calls animal adorable. She started her period about a year ago, and believe it is uncomfortable, as is the changes that are going on inside.
A lot of her friends are part of LGBTQ community, and we support people that truly want to affect change. This is one sphere of influence we believe.
She wanted to cut her hair short (pixie cut), and she likes wearing comfy clothes. Sometimes girlish clothes other times boyish clothes.
While she is testing this out she wanted to call herself Alex. Her good friend is Alexa so there might be something there.
She is into drama, art, nature, and she has had interest in dance, horse back riding, and some sports like softball, Soccer and Field hockey.
She is on a board/group in the LGBTQ community through the school, and I am trying to find a way to see and understand if they are luring her in like a beam, or if it is open support.
She does watch different skits and shows on tmblr, insta, youtube, tick tock....
I had a very open conversation with her. I wanted to get as much information from her so we can try and understand, and a decent amount willingly came out. I believe she was being honest and sincere. She is exploring the idea of being called a boys name, short hair, and some boy clothes. Nothing else at this time. At one moment I broke down and cried, and she started crying as well. Not sure what that means. I told her that I was not angry, my tears were from a lack of understanding as we just found out, and am trying me best to understand. Multiple times she told me she is just trying it out to se how it makes her feel. She wasn't putting up any expectations, but currently that is where she is, and may change.
We did tell her that we would like her and the two older boys to get out more, and get off of the devices. I am not sure this is enough, or if we should take a harder stance or not. It's a sensitive topic, and we do not want her to be defensive. In the end of the day I want her to be the Happiest, and Heathiest version of herself. She said that she doesn't want to loose who she is today. Meaning, nice, caring, loving, sensitive etc... If I think of some potential outcomes I just don't see how someone would be able to go full transgender and keep who they are as a person. We are hoping this is a phase, but are deeply concerned for her future, and afraid she is being lured in by a culture swing more so than what is best for her, and will make her happy even if that is a compromise. She is very young and can be immature at times. Not sure if there is anything there.
On a side note my wife just got home, and they both went shopping. They were looking at a waste basket, and my daughter picked a light blue one with a flower on it.
Any insight would be greatly appreciated. Again the goal is to support her, but make sure she is the happiest healthiest version.
So sorry you have ended up here but welcome. You didn’t say how old your daughter is. I’m not sure if you have access to the other parts of the forum yet but if not you will soon once your account has been activated.
There are lots of different sections ie age related, parents of girls etc.
I have a son going through it so not much help on the girl/daughter side of things.
I’m sure a parent of a daughter will see this & reply. Only other thing is, once your account is activated, search & read as much as you can.
Take care x
Son 21, Asd, gifted, UK, estranged