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Our Discussion Topics
#81
(07-Aug-2019, 10:42 PM)gemdamon Wrote: Hi - my daughter came out as Bi 2 years ago, lesbian the year after and now trans 2 weeks ago. We FULLY support him in being whomever he chooses, this is his journey not ours. BUT, HE now refuses to go to school since they are using his 'dead name' and the wrong pronouns. Mind you, this is a school out of our district that we are driving to, to be away from those he may know. We've talked to the counselors, teachers etc. and they do okay but sometimes make mistakes because his 'dead name' is on the school records since there hasn't been a name change. What are other parents doing to help the trans kiddos at school? What rights do they have? Does anyone let their child do online school? We are trying and need help. I even got him into a local 1 n 10 group that supports him with his peers. Thank you.

Hello gemdamon,

I'm not sure how thoroughly or closely you've read the posts preceding yours. This board is for parents whose kids have suddenly come out as trans and want to immediately be affirmed by the world as trans -- but as parents we want to take the slow approach. We believe it is ill-advised and short-sighted to immediately (or within weeks or even months) allow a child/teen/young adult to change their name, pronouns, school records, etc. and get started down the road to medical transition. Studies have shown that socially transitioned kids are more likely to medically transition, so we desire to slow down even social transition.

I hesitate to speak for an entire group, but in general the parents of this forum view a transgender identity as a symptom, a "maladaptive coping mechanism" if you will, for kids who are dealing with various issues such as ADHD, OCD, RAD, autism/Aspergers, peer rejection, homosexuality, sexual assault, bullying, family problems such as divorce or the death of a loved one, rejection of stereotypical gender roles, social pressure, or simply puberty, to name a few.

You stated your child has already come out as bi, then lesbian, and now trans. This is a typical pattern seen in many of our kids. The parents of this forum view these ever-changing labels our kids are trying on and then shedding as convincing rationale to carefully watch and wait, saving transition as a last resort so that our kids can continue to evolve and grow, without first finding themselves painted into a corner with a "new" transgender identity -- which can be very difficult for a kid to walk back from once it has become fully entrenched. 

We also have discovered that medical transition drugs and surgeries are incredibly damaging and unhealthful for the body, as well as poorly studied. Puberty blockers, testosterone in females and estrogen in males are all used off-label. Testosterone especially is poorly studied in females and not FDA approved for female use. We believe transition should be a last resort and an adult decision, and see the current uptick in regretful detranitioners, who went quickly from coming out as trans to medical transition, as proof that taking it slow is prudent and wise.

As I'm sure you understand this is a complex, difficult topic and the few short paragraphs above barely scratch the surface. I just wanted to give you a short overview of this forum's general philosophy before activating your membership. Please post back and let me know if this forum is one you'd like to join, now that you know where the parents here are coming from, and I will be happy to activate your membership. 

Best wishes to you and your child. I hope to hear back from you soon.
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Messages In This Thread
Our Discussion Topics - by Seeker - 31-Oct-2017, 03:33 PM
RE: Our Discussion Topics - by GilMom - 22-Feb-2018, 12:05 AM
RE: Our Discussion Topics - by Just Another Mom - 22-Feb-2018, 01:04 AM
RE: Our Discussion Topics - by Guest - 11-Jun-2021, 07:53 PM
RE: Our Discussion Topics - by EverHopeful - 22-Feb-2018, 01:05 AM
Help needed - by Confusedparent - 10-Mar-2018, 04:09 PM
RE: Help needed - by candycigs - 10-Mar-2018, 06:55 PM
RE: Help needed - by Daughtersmom - 21-Mar-2018, 02:31 PM
RE: Help needed - by Babs - 22-Mar-2018, 01:52 AM
RE: Help needed - by Babs - 11-Apr-2018, 02:04 PM
RE: Help needed - by Dbfrogger - 16-Apr-2019, 05:43 AM
RE: Our Discussion Topics - by dougpounds - 25-Mar-2018, 12:44 AM
RE: Our Discussion Topics - by Heroshero - 06-Apr-2018, 08:18 AM
RE: Our Discussion Topics - by puzzled - 06-Apr-2018, 04:09 PM
RE: Our Discussion Topics - by missingmyboy - 09-Apr-2018, 06:02 PM
RE: Our Discussion Topics - by Kacie Chitwood - 08-Aug-2019, 03:42 AM
RE: Our Discussion Topics - by dougpounds - 06-Apr-2018, 12:24 PM
RE: Our Discussion Topics - by Kellogmom - 06-Apr-2018, 07:19 PM
RE: Our Discussion Topics - by Lizzie - 08-Apr-2018, 02:02 PM
RE: Our Discussion Topics - by Heroshero - 11-Apr-2018, 04:44 PM
RE: Our Discussion Topics - by doodlemom - 24-Dec-2018, 10:39 PM
RE: Our Discussion Topics - by Lane - 08-Apr-2018, 07:34 PM
RE: Our Discussion Topics - by Libby - 09-Apr-2018, 06:23 PM
RE: Our Discussion Topics - by Seeker - 09-Apr-2018, 07:21 PM
RE: Our Discussion Topics - by Libby - 09-Apr-2018, 07:28 PM
RE: Our Discussion Topics - by Libby - 10-Apr-2018, 11:27 AM
RE: Our Discussion Topics - by pvgirl - 21-Oct-2020, 09:50 PM
RE: Our Discussion Topics - by EverHopeful - 09-Apr-2018, 07:36 PM
RE: Our Discussion Topics - by missingmyboy - 10-Apr-2018, 01:05 PM
RE: Our Discussion Topics - by Libby - 10-Apr-2018, 04:41 PM
RE: Our Discussion Topics - by EverHopeful - 10-Apr-2018, 07:21 PM
RE: Our Discussion Topics - by missingmyboy - 11-Apr-2018, 12:23 PM
RE: Our Discussion Topics - by Guest - 11-Apr-2018, 06:55 PM
RE: Our Discussion Topics - by nikkfitt - 19-Apr-2018, 02:49 AM
RE: Our Discussion Topics - by Hockey4 - 13-May-2018, 12:49 AM
RE: Our Discussion Topics - by MomOfOne - 16-May-2018, 04:19 AM
RE: Our Discussion Topics - by Condemned - 16-May-2018, 02:39 PM
RE: Our Discussion Topics - by anon - 31-Dec-2018, 11:10 PM
RE: Our Discussion Topics - by GCDad - 01-Jan-2019, 12:38 AM
RE: Our Discussion Topics - by Guest - 17-May-2018, 07:22 AM
RE: Our Discussion Topics - by GCDad - 17-May-2018, 09:15 AM
RE: Our Discussion Topics - by georgie11 - 06-Jun-2018, 12:05 AM
RE: Our Discussion Topics - by AtALoss - 22-Jun-2018, 03:35 PM
RE: Our Discussion Topics - by mom1211 - 25-Jun-2018, 06:02 PM
RE: Our Discussion Topics - by lovethefall - 26-Jun-2018, 01:11 PM
RE: Our Discussion Topics - by Guest - 01-Jul-2018, 08:05 PM
RE: Our Discussion Topics - by GCDad - 01-Jul-2018, 11:19 PM
RE: Our Discussion Topics - by ajbeth68 - 04-Aug-2018, 03:01 AM
RE: Our Discussion Topics - by Alana - 02-Oct-2018, 09:21 PM
RE: Our Discussion Topics - by Condemned - 02-Oct-2018, 11:14 PM
RE: Our Discussion Topics - by Alana - 03-Oct-2018, 12:09 AM
RE: Our Discussion Topics - by Maddysmum - 23-Oct-2018, 04:36 PM
RE: Our Discussion Topics - by DolphinMomma - 28-Dec-2018, 01:17 AM
RE: Our Discussion Topics - by Momortwo - 04-Dec-2018, 05:13 AM
RE: Our Discussion Topics - by Garland_ - 04-Dec-2018, 10:18 PM
RE: Our Discussion Topics - by Seeker - 28-Dec-2018, 02:04 AM
RE: Our Discussion Topics - by Sal - 29-Dec-2018, 09:20 PM
RE: Our Discussion Topics - by Waitingtoexhale - 30-Dec-2018, 09:23 PM
RE: Our Discussion Topics - by Barrett - 27-Feb-2019, 07:07 PM
RE: Our Discussion Topics - by lckystarr - 17-Apr-2019, 01:19 PM
RE: Our Discussion Topics - by Dispparent - 19-Apr-2019, 09:29 PM
RE: Our Discussion Topics - by Guest - 17-Apr-2019, 01:44 PM
RE: Our Discussion Topics - by eioffer - 26-Jul-2019, 03:50 AM
RE: Our Discussion Topics - by Hummingbird - 26-Jul-2019, 04:13 AM
RE: Our Discussion Topics - by gemdamon - 07-Aug-2019, 10:42 PM
RE: Our Discussion Topics - by Marge Bouvier Simpson - 08-Aug-2019, 02:35 AM
RE: Our Discussion Topics - by Cailleach - 29-Aug-2019, 11:39 AM
RE: Our Discussion Topics - by tommyboy - 03-Sep-2019, 03:32 PM
RE: Our Discussion Topics - by justkym - 29-Nov-2019, 02:29 PM
RE: Our Discussion Topics - by Wonderhearts - 30-Nov-2019, 09:08 PM
RE: Our Discussion Topics - by Kristina - 28-Dec-2019, 03:43 PM
RE: Our Discussion Topics - by Guest - 19-Jan-2020, 08:58 PM
RE: Our Discussion Topics - by Mtnmum777 - 27-Feb-2020, 01:26 PM
RE: Our Discussion Topics - by Zoomo - 27-Feb-2020, 08:24 PM
RE: Our Discussion Topics - by Surprise! - 16-Mar-2020, 12:45 PM
RE: Our Discussion Topics - by Brookiema79 - 07-Jun-2020, 02:10 PM
RE: Our Discussion Topics - by Treadinginwater - 16-Jun-2020, 07:00 PM
RE: Our Discussion Topics - by Jdmum - 16-Jun-2020, 10:01 PM
RE: Our Discussion Topics - by dharma blade - 03-Aug-2020, 10:13 PM
RE: Our Discussion Topics - by MikeD - 13-Sep-2020, 03:36 AM
RE: Our Discussion Topics - by Dadof2 - 13-Sep-2020, 10:13 PM
RE: Our Discussion Topics - by Fading Hope - 27-Sep-2020, 03:25 AM
RE: Our Discussion Topics - by Dadof2 - 27-Sep-2020, 03:36 PM
RE: Our Discussion Topics - by Fading Hope - 27-Sep-2020, 10:50 PM
RE: Our Discussion Topics - by MLG - 05-Oct-2020, 01:31 AM
RE: Our Discussion Topics - by Ngir - 13-Oct-2020, 11:30 AM
RE: Our Discussion Topics - by Guest - 20-Oct-2020, 06:10 AM
RE: Our Discussion Topics - by adogslife - 20-Oct-2020, 10:25 PM
RE: Our Discussion Topics - by iwantobenormal - 26-Oct-2020, 07:42 PM
RE: Our Discussion Topics - by Whisper - 03-Nov-2020, 12:32 AM
RE: Our Discussion Topics - by Gonegirl - 16-Nov-2020, 04:20 AM
RE: Our Discussion Topics - by Lala2010 - 18-Nov-2020, 05:42 PM
RE: Our Discussion Topics - by Jdmum - 19-Nov-2020, 12:17 AM
RE: Our Discussion Topics - by Jabberwok - 09-Dec-2020, 07:15 PM
RE: Our Discussion Topics - by InNeedOfAdvice - 29-Dec-2020, 06:27 PM
RE: Our Discussion Topics - by lastbreath - 16-Jun-2021, 03:42 PM
RE: Our Discussion Topics - by Guest - 21-Jun-2021, 03:33 PM
RE: Our Discussion Topics - by Peppin - 02-Jan-2021, 12:40 PM
RE: Our Discussion Topics - by Jdmum - 02-Jan-2021, 12:47 PM
RE: Our Discussion Topics - by Betterdaysahead - 26-Feb-2021, 05:10 AM
RE: Our Discussion Topics - by TChealing - 08-Apr-2021, 06:05 PM
RE: Our Discussion Topics - by Ryleighsmom - 13-Jul-2021, 03:24 PM

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