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Our Discussion Topics
#43
I'm in a bit of shock reading these stories that are so similar to what has happened with our daughter, who is 12 1/2. She has not told us she is having gender issues, but it is clear that she is and she is deeply secretive about it. She started pulling away from me (not so much her father) when she started puberty when she was 10. It was way too early for her, as she was never a girly girl and I felt it would have been better if she had started puberty much later. At that time, she started wearing baggy clothes and only androgynous tennis shoes. She won't wear or carry anything feminine (no purses and gender-neutral backpack). She won't shave her legs, or do any other regular middle school girl stuff like consider makeup, or pluck her eyebrows or get a pedicure or even wear cute clothes gender neutral or not. She wears a hoodie literally every day. 

She is also highly/profoundly gifted and had been in the gifted program in elementary school, and in advanced classes in middle school. She is a wonderful writer and artist, and like so many others I'm reading about here, is into anime. 

She has been part of an online writing group since she was about 8 1/2, and she considers those girls to be her best friends. They write and play role playing games. I found out about a year ago-- actually it was two summers ago-- that many of the girls are non-binary, a couple are transgender and many are gay, as is the woman who runs the writing group. I think all of the girls are extremely gifted and amazing writers and very supportive of each other. But they are 1-4 years older than my daughter. I think social contagion could be an explanation for why so many of these particular girls identify the way they do, but of course I don't know.

We're a very liberal family and want to support and accept our daughter however she is, and honestly, since she isn't letting on about these issues, I can't be positive that this is what her issue is. She doesn't reveal her personal thoughts to me at all. She is in counseling right now for anxiety. I told her counselor that I'm wondering whether part of her anxiety might revolve around gender issues and she agreed with me and will try exploring it with her. Of course the counselor won't tell me what they talk about.

I'm interested to see how others are dealing with this. I'm afraid of the path we're going down and don't know how to turn it around.
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Messages In This Thread
Our Discussion Topics - by Seeker - 31-Oct-2017, 03:33 PM
RE: Our Discussion Topics - by GilMom - 22-Feb-2018, 12:05 AM
RE: Our Discussion Topics - by Just Another Mom - 22-Feb-2018, 01:04 AM
RE: Our Discussion Topics - by Guest - 11-Jun-2021, 07:53 PM
RE: Our Discussion Topics - by EverHopeful - 22-Feb-2018, 01:05 AM
Help needed - by Confusedparent - 10-Mar-2018, 04:09 PM
RE: Help needed - by candycigs - 10-Mar-2018, 06:55 PM
RE: Help needed - by Daughtersmom - 21-Mar-2018, 02:31 PM
RE: Help needed - by Babs - 22-Mar-2018, 01:52 AM
RE: Help needed - by Babs - 11-Apr-2018, 02:04 PM
RE: Help needed - by Dbfrogger - 16-Apr-2019, 05:43 AM
RE: Our Discussion Topics - by dougpounds - 25-Mar-2018, 12:44 AM
RE: Our Discussion Topics - by Heroshero - 06-Apr-2018, 08:18 AM
RE: Our Discussion Topics - by puzzled - 06-Apr-2018, 04:09 PM
RE: Our Discussion Topics - by missingmyboy - 09-Apr-2018, 06:02 PM
RE: Our Discussion Topics - by Kacie Chitwood - 08-Aug-2019, 03:42 AM
RE: Our Discussion Topics - by dougpounds - 06-Apr-2018, 12:24 PM
RE: Our Discussion Topics - by Kellogmom - 06-Apr-2018, 07:19 PM
RE: Our Discussion Topics - by Lizzie - 08-Apr-2018, 02:02 PM
RE: Our Discussion Topics - by Heroshero - 11-Apr-2018, 04:44 PM
RE: Our Discussion Topics - by doodlemom - 24-Dec-2018, 10:39 PM
RE: Our Discussion Topics - by Lane - 08-Apr-2018, 07:34 PM
RE: Our Discussion Topics - by Libby - 09-Apr-2018, 06:23 PM
RE: Our Discussion Topics - by Seeker - 09-Apr-2018, 07:21 PM
RE: Our Discussion Topics - by Libby - 09-Apr-2018, 07:28 PM
RE: Our Discussion Topics - by Libby - 10-Apr-2018, 11:27 AM
RE: Our Discussion Topics - by pvgirl - 21-Oct-2020, 09:50 PM
RE: Our Discussion Topics - by EverHopeful - 09-Apr-2018, 07:36 PM
RE: Our Discussion Topics - by missingmyboy - 10-Apr-2018, 01:05 PM
RE: Our Discussion Topics - by Libby - 10-Apr-2018, 04:41 PM
RE: Our Discussion Topics - by EverHopeful - 10-Apr-2018, 07:21 PM
RE: Our Discussion Topics - by missingmyboy - 11-Apr-2018, 12:23 PM
RE: Our Discussion Topics - by Guest - 11-Apr-2018, 06:55 PM
RE: Our Discussion Topics - by nikkfitt - 19-Apr-2018, 02:49 AM
RE: Our Discussion Topics - by Hockey4 - 13-May-2018, 12:49 AM
RE: Our Discussion Topics - by MomOfOne - 16-May-2018, 04:19 AM
RE: Our Discussion Topics - by Condemned - 16-May-2018, 02:39 PM
RE: Our Discussion Topics - by anon - 31-Dec-2018, 11:10 PM
RE: Our Discussion Topics - by GCDad - 01-Jan-2019, 12:38 AM
RE: Our Discussion Topics - by Guest - 17-May-2018, 07:22 AM
RE: Our Discussion Topics - by GCDad - 17-May-2018, 09:15 AM
RE: Our Discussion Topics - by georgie11 - 06-Jun-2018, 12:05 AM
RE: Our Discussion Topics - by AtALoss - 22-Jun-2018, 03:35 PM
RE: Our Discussion Topics - by mom1211 - 25-Jun-2018, 06:02 PM
RE: Our Discussion Topics - by lovethefall - 26-Jun-2018, 01:11 PM
RE: Our Discussion Topics - by Guest - 01-Jul-2018, 08:05 PM
RE: Our Discussion Topics - by GCDad - 01-Jul-2018, 11:19 PM
RE: Our Discussion Topics - by ajbeth68 - 04-Aug-2018, 03:01 AM
RE: Our Discussion Topics - by Alana - 02-Oct-2018, 09:21 PM
RE: Our Discussion Topics - by Condemned - 02-Oct-2018, 11:14 PM
RE: Our Discussion Topics - by Alana - 03-Oct-2018, 12:09 AM
RE: Our Discussion Topics - by Maddysmum - 23-Oct-2018, 04:36 PM
RE: Our Discussion Topics - by DolphinMomma - 28-Dec-2018, 01:17 AM
RE: Our Discussion Topics - by Momortwo - 04-Dec-2018, 05:13 AM
RE: Our Discussion Topics - by Garland_ - 04-Dec-2018, 10:18 PM
RE: Our Discussion Topics - by Seeker - 28-Dec-2018, 02:04 AM
RE: Our Discussion Topics - by Sal - 29-Dec-2018, 09:20 PM
RE: Our Discussion Topics - by Waitingtoexhale - 30-Dec-2018, 09:23 PM
RE: Our Discussion Topics - by Barrett - 27-Feb-2019, 07:07 PM
RE: Our Discussion Topics - by lckystarr - 17-Apr-2019, 01:19 PM
RE: Our Discussion Topics - by Dispparent - 19-Apr-2019, 09:29 PM
RE: Our Discussion Topics - by Guest - 17-Apr-2019, 01:44 PM
RE: Our Discussion Topics - by eioffer - 26-Jul-2019, 03:50 AM
RE: Our Discussion Topics - by Hummingbird - 26-Jul-2019, 04:13 AM
RE: Our Discussion Topics - by gemdamon - 07-Aug-2019, 10:42 PM
RE: Our Discussion Topics - by Cailleach - 29-Aug-2019, 11:39 AM
RE: Our Discussion Topics - by tommyboy - 03-Sep-2019, 03:32 PM
RE: Our Discussion Topics - by justkym - 29-Nov-2019, 02:29 PM
RE: Our Discussion Topics - by Wonderhearts - 30-Nov-2019, 09:08 PM
RE: Our Discussion Topics - by Kristina - 28-Dec-2019, 03:43 PM
RE: Our Discussion Topics - by Guest - 19-Jan-2020, 08:58 PM
RE: Our Discussion Topics - by Mtnmum777 - 27-Feb-2020, 01:26 PM
RE: Our Discussion Topics - by Zoomo - 27-Feb-2020, 08:24 PM
RE: Our Discussion Topics - by Surprise! - 16-Mar-2020, 12:45 PM
RE: Our Discussion Topics - by Brookiema79 - 07-Jun-2020, 02:10 PM
RE: Our Discussion Topics - by Treadinginwater - 16-Jun-2020, 07:00 PM
RE: Our Discussion Topics - by Jdmum - 16-Jun-2020, 10:01 PM
RE: Our Discussion Topics - by dharma blade - 03-Aug-2020, 10:13 PM
RE: Our Discussion Topics - by MikeD - 13-Sep-2020, 03:36 AM
RE: Our Discussion Topics - by Dadof2 - 13-Sep-2020, 10:13 PM
RE: Our Discussion Topics - by Fading Hope - 27-Sep-2020, 03:25 AM
RE: Our Discussion Topics - by Dadof2 - 27-Sep-2020, 03:36 PM
RE: Our Discussion Topics - by Fading Hope - 27-Sep-2020, 10:50 PM
RE: Our Discussion Topics - by MLG - 05-Oct-2020, 01:31 AM
RE: Our Discussion Topics - by Ngir - 13-Oct-2020, 11:30 AM
RE: Our Discussion Topics - by Guest - 20-Oct-2020, 06:10 AM
RE: Our Discussion Topics - by adogslife - 20-Oct-2020, 10:25 PM
RE: Our Discussion Topics - by iwantobenormal - 26-Oct-2020, 07:42 PM
RE: Our Discussion Topics - by Whisper - 03-Nov-2020, 12:32 AM
RE: Our Discussion Topics - by Gonegirl - 16-Nov-2020, 04:20 AM
RE: Our Discussion Topics - by Lala2010 - 18-Nov-2020, 05:42 PM
RE: Our Discussion Topics - by Jdmum - 19-Nov-2020, 12:17 AM
RE: Our Discussion Topics - by Jabberwok - 09-Dec-2020, 07:15 PM
RE: Our Discussion Topics - by InNeedOfAdvice - 29-Dec-2020, 06:27 PM
RE: Our Discussion Topics - by lastbreath - 16-Jun-2021, 03:42 PM
RE: Our Discussion Topics - by Guest - 21-Jun-2021, 03:33 PM
RE: Our Discussion Topics - by Peppin - 02-Jan-2021, 12:40 PM
RE: Our Discussion Topics - by Jdmum - 02-Jan-2021, 12:47 PM
RE: Our Discussion Topics - by Betterdaysahead - 26-Feb-2021, 05:10 AM
RE: Our Discussion Topics - by TChealing - 08-Apr-2021, 06:05 PM
RE: Our Discussion Topics - by Ryleighsmom - 13-Jul-2021, 03:24 PM

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