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[Marge Bouvier Simpson]

Hi Libby, I too am the parent of an adult and distressed by what he had chosen.

I'm the father of a 23-year old son who has been getting estrogen in the process of transitioning.  I am new to this site, and am so thankful to have found it.  My wife and I fortunately have the same view of what he is doing to himself -- concern about the harms he is doing to his body, and about the neglect of the real identity issues that he needs to be exploring, and convinced that the ideology that allows such treatments is dangerous and untrue.  Thank God we can talk to each other. 

But it seems there is no one else we can speak with, that the medical profession and psychological counselors have all subscribed to and celebrate that ideology.  I would talk to my son about it if I could.  But although he lives with us he minimally interacts with us, can be quite curt, and on this subject will speak not at all.  I have prayed he will come to see the truth about what he is doing and tried to share articles that will help him to do that.  Other than that it seems all we can do is of all things the most important, which is to love him.  But is it the only thing?

He works, but is on my health insurance and so in a sense it is my work that goes to support this destructive process that I utterly oppose.  I want to do something! Is there a way to keep the doctors from continuing to do this to him, keep the insurance from paying them?  Has anyone, for example, heard of legal actions to do this? I know he is in the eyes of the law an adult who makes his own medical decisions, but he has not fully developed an adult mind.  Nor do I think he has been honestly counseled.  Is there anything that I can do?  I feel as though I am watching, and even enabling, a great crime, crime against him, that I would do anything to stop.

Hello, Dadof2. Welcome to the forum.

Your account has been activated and you may now access the members-only portion of the forum. I encourage you to post your questions there, as this portion of the forum doesn't get much traffic from our members.

I'm sorry to hear about your son. You are not alone.

I hope you'll find the forum helpful.

[Fading Hope]

Hi,
I'm a parent of a teen who told us 2 years ago that she was nonbinary. A few months later, she changed that to trans boy. She had, up until that point, been a big fan of skirts and occasionally dresses. She didn't care a lot for playing with dolls but played with stuffed animals in that way. She loved princesses but also dinosaurs. We always encouraged that girls can like and do whatever boys do. This was completely out of left field and unexpected. She used to love swimming, and had done a lot of it just a few months before this revelation, but since then hasn't been in a pool once. She mostly stays in her room now. It's hard to get her to do anything else.

[Marge Bouvier Simpson]

Hi,
I'm a parent of a teen who told us 2 years ago that she was nonbinary. A few months later, she changed that to trans boy. She had, up until that point, been a big fan of skirts and occasionally dresses. She didn't care a lot for playing with dolls but played with stuffed animals in that way. She loved princesses but also dinosaurs. We always encouraged that girls can like and do whatever boys do. This was completely out of left field and unexpected. She used to love swimming, and had done a lot of it just a few months before this revelation, but since then hasn't been in a pool once. She mostly stays in her room now. It's hard to get her to do anything else.

Hi Fading Hope, and welcome to the forum. Your story/your daughter's story sounds so much like what so many of us are dealing with. It seems our kids are caught up in some sort of movement or trend, and follow along with what they are told should happen or what they should do next. It is nuts they are being told that liking or not liking certain toys has any sort of bearing on whether or not they need to see an endocrinologist for hormones and a plastic surgeon for surgery.

Your account has been activated. I encourage you to tell your story in the members-only section, as members generally don't frequent this part of the forum much.

I hope you find the forum helpful. You are not alone.

[Dadof2]

Fading Hope

Hi,
I'm a parent of a teen who told us 2 years ago that she was nonbinary. A few months later, she changed that to trans boy. She had, up until that point, been a big fan of skirts and occasionally dresses. She didn't care a lot for playing with dolls but played with stuffed animals in that way. She loved princesses but also dinosaurs. We always encouraged that girls can like and do whatever boys do. This was completely out of left field and unexpected. She used to love swimming, and had done a lot of it just a few months before this revelation, but since then hasn't been in a pool once. She mostly stays in her room now. It's hard to get her to do anything else.

Hi Fading Hope,
Your story sounds much like what has happened to our son since he decided that he is trans.  He enjoyed all sorts of boy activities and still to me seems to have many of the interests that I think of being a boy's.  But like your daughter with her swimming he has given up playing the piano which he was very good at. And he spends a lot of time in his room. 

Fortunately this month his job as a teacher's assistant working with young children has resumed, and the kids are actually in school so every weekday he's out of the house, interacting him with them and with the rest of the teaching staff and making the two-mile round-trip walk back and forth.  It's all made a difference in his state of mind, so far as I can see, and also given my wife and me something we can talk with him about now.  So anything that will get your daughter out regularly and interacting may help, job or volunteer activity. 

I still worry about the time he spends alone though (weekends mostly now) and wonder whether he's found that being online supports his trans identity. 

Anyway, let's keep talking.  Whatever reality there is to gender dysphoria (and I have my doubts there is much), I suspect kids like ours have not had it but instead are swept up in what now seems like a solution to identity issues that they like most young people have that stem from other issues.  So just maybe, Fading Hope, there is hope that our kids will come to see the answers they are searching for are not in changing their bodies but instead doing the work of really coming to understand who they are meant to be.  That is my prayer for my son. I would be pleased to add your daughter to my prayers.

[Fading Hope]

Fading Hope

Hi,
I'm a parent of a teen who told us 2 years ago that she was nonbinary. A few months later, she changed that to trans boy. She had, up until that point, been a big fan of skirts and occasionally dresses. She didn't care a lot for playing with dolls but played with stuffed animals in that way. She loved princesses but also dinosaurs. We always encouraged that girls can like and do whatever boys do. This was completely out of left field and unexpected. She used to love swimming, and had done a lot of it just a few months before this revelation, but since then hasn't been in a pool once. She mostly stays in her room now. It's hard to get her to do anything else.

Hi Fading Hope,
Your story sounds much like what has happened to our son since he decided that he is trans.  He enjoyed all sorts of boy activities and still to me seems to have many of the interests that I think of being a boy's.  But like your daughter with her swimming he has given up playing the piano which he was very good at. And he spends a lot of time in his room. 

Fortunately this month his job as a teacher's assistant working with young children has resumed, and the kids are actually in school so every weekday he's out of the house, interacting him with them and with the rest of the teaching staff and making the two-mile round-trip walk back and forth.  It's all made a difference in his state of mind, so far as I can see, and also given my wife and me something we can talk with him about now.  So anything that will get your daughter out regularly and interacting may help, job or volunteer activity. 

I still worry about the time he spends alone though (weekends mostly now) and wonder whether he's found that being online supports his trans identity. 

Anyway, let's keep talking.  Whatever reality there is to gender dysphoria (and I have my doubts there is much), I suspect kids like ours have not had it but instead are swept up in what now seems like a solution to identity issues that they like most young people have that stem from other issues.  So just maybe, Fading Hope, there is hope that our kids will come to see the answers they are searching for are not in changing their bodies but instead doing the work of really coming to understand who they are meant to be.  That is my prayer for my son. I would be pleased to add your daughter to my prayers.

Thank you so much for the offered prayers. I will do the same for you.

[MLG]

Hi, I am new here. While reading several of these posts, I'm realizing how similar the experiences are. My daughter is 14 and just announced to her father and I that she is trans. She apparently came out at school and they have been calling her by a male name and pronouns without our knowledge. I started seeing the indoctrination in 7th and 8th grade when she came home and had proudly memorized all of the different gender identities. Since then, she has immersed herself in social media and began involving herself in social justice and political issues. Our family dynamic completely shifted during the middle school years as her father and I have been accused of being Boomers and homophobic facists (we are NOT). She was never quick to make friends and socially awkward. She's also ADHD and on medication. She has found a community of other trans girls and LBGTQ friends at school that are encouraging her. She has also spoken to the guidance counselor at school and has accused us of mental abuse for not supporting her. This is all happening so quickly. She has never been in a relationship with a boy or girl unless it was online. She went from telling me everything to not wanting to tell me anything. This has all happened this weekend and an email was sent to the guidance counselor this afternoon. I am afraid of the response I will get and am prepared to change to a private school although my daughter "loves" this school. She has finally found a peer group to accept and encourage her. I am terrified at what I've read online this weekend and feel that this NOT normal that it's happening to so many young girls in the same manner. I am lost and don't know where to turn. We did take away her iPhone today, indefinitely. I regret ever getting her one,

[Marge Bouvier Simpson]

Hi, I am new here. While reading several of these posts, I'm realizing how similar the experiences are. My daughter is 14 and just announced to her father and I that she is trans. She apparently came out at school and they have been calling her by a male name and pronouns without our knowledge. I started seeing the indoctrination in 7th and 8th grade when she came home and had proudly memorized all of the different gender identities. Since then, she has immersed herself in social media and began involving herself in social justice and political issues. Our family dynamic completely shifted during the middle school years as her father and I have been accused of being Boomers and homophobic facists (we are NOT). She was never quick to make friends and socially awkward. She's also ADHD and on medication. She has found a community of other trans girls and LBGTQ friends at school that are encouraging her. She has also spoken to the guidance counselor at school and has accused us of mental abuse for not supporting her. This is all happening so quickly. She has never been in a relationship with a boy or girl unless it was online. She went from telling me everything to not wanting to tell me anything. This has all happened this weekend and an email was sent to the guidance counselor this afternoon. I am afraid of the response I will get and am prepared to change to a private school although my daughter "loves" this school. She has finally found a peer group to accept and encourage her. I am terrified at what I've read online this weekend and feel that this NOT normal that it's happening to so many young girls in the same manner. I am lost and don't know where to turn. We did take away her iPhone today, indefinitely. I regret ever getting her one,

Hello, MGL. Your account has been activated. Welcome to the forum. 

I'm sorry to hear about what you're dealing with. I think you'll find a lot of parents with similar stories here.

You are not alone.

[Ngir]

Hi there, my account is supposed to be activated but I cannot seem to see the members area, thanks

[Marge Bouvier Simpson]

Hi there, my account is supposed to be activated but I cannot seem to see the members area, thanks

Hello, Ngir, and welcome to the forum.

Thank you for your patience. All accounts must be manually activated by a forum moderator, so that's the reason for the delay. Your account is now activated. I hope you'll find the forum helplful.

[Guest]

Hi I also need my account to be actives. Thank you!
Does anyone know any connection between Buffy the Vampire Slayer or philosophy to gender dysphoria?
Thank you for anyone's help!