From the Members

[DesperateMother]

I really need to know what can I do to change this… My daughter said to me 2 years ago that she’s non binary, and it’s been like 8 month or so that she’s going by he/him online. Today she said she would like us (family) to call her by her chosen pronouns and even try her (awful) new name. Until puberty, no signs at all of GD. I fee that with the isolarion and pandemic her trans ideas deepened, because she would meet her friends online to chat and play games and Wouldn’t say no, I was worrying about her being “alone” in her bed and watched videos being worst… now I’m lost. She’s an inteovert, always shy, played house with girls’ toys but liked video/computer games a lot too. I don’t want a son, I eant my daughter. She did not have a problem being a girl during her whole childhood; back then she would say to me that she did not wanted to grow up; her GD started with puberty and having a beautiful, healthy woman’s body. Now she say’s she is assexual and “gay” - she always had crushes on male youtubers… I want to read stories of families that crossed to the other side, that beat this nightmare. Are those here? Am I dreaming that some day she’ll snap out of this? Help

[ChunkyMonkey]

I am so happy (and a bit sad that it has to exist) to have found this forum.

My beautiful 12 year old daughter last week decided to come out as trans. First, it was a journal entry that she blatantly left out for us to read. I first ignored it and then a few days later she left a note taped to her window. And also wrote "I'm Trans" on the chalkboard and "I'm Pan" note taped out on the other window. The note stated that she was a trans boy. That she wanted to get her hair cut short and use chest binders.

She has never shown any indication before this that she wanted to be a boy. She isn't the most girly of girls but she does play with makeup and likes fashion. In fact, her school uniform has a skirt or a pants option, she ALWAYS wears the skirt. Both my husband and I don't really see how she suddenly could be trans. We're both liberal people so it's not matter of us being gay or trans phobes but a deep concern that she is being heavily influenced by social media and her friend circle. We kinda were loose with the phone and internet usage during the pandemic because it was only way she could interact with some of her friends but now it's biting us in the butt! We have since taken away the phones from both kids and shut off YouTube.

We did confront her after seeing the note and honestly she didn't give a very convincing argument as why she felt that she was a boy stuck "in a girls body". She mostly mentioned that she didn't like what girls are like. We tried to probe further of what she means and she just shrugged her shoulders. I think it has more to do with that she doesn't fit with more clique-y girls at school so she using this as an out.

Reading through this message board, I nodded my head a bunch, like, yep, that totally sounds like my kid. I am glad I am not alone. It took me awhile to find a place because everything that I searched for about trans kids was about total acceptance and affirmation and not questioning whether it is truly the right thing for your kid.

We are working on getting therapy and so glad that I have done some homework so I can find a neutral therapist instead of a "transgender specialist" which was my first instinct because I naively thought they would help my kid explore and discover who she really is and not just simply affirm and lead her down a path of making a life altering change with severe consequences.

[Marge Bouvier Simpson]

I am so happy (and a bit sad that it has to exist) to have found this forum.

My beautiful 12 year old daughter last week decided to come out as trans. First, it was a journal entry that she blatantly left out for us to read. I first ignored it and then a few days later she left a note taped to her window. And also wrote "I'm Trans" on the chalkboard and "I'm Pan" note taped out on the other window. The note stated that she was a trans boy. That she wanted to get her hair cut short and use chest binders.

She has never shown any indication before this that she wanted to be a boy. She isn't the most girly of girls but she does play with makeup and likes fashion. In fact, her school uniform has a skirt or a pants option, she ALWAYS wears the skirt. Both my husband and I don't really see how she suddenly could be trans. We're both liberal people so it's not matter of us being gay or trans phobes but a deep concern that she is being heavily influenced by social media and her friend circle. We kinda were loose with the phone and internet usage during the pandemic because it was only way she could interact with some of her friends but now it's biting us in the butt! We have since taken away the phones from both kids and shut off YouTube.

We did confront her after seeing the note and honestly she didn't give a very convincing argument as why she felt that she was a boy stuck "in a girls body". She mostly mentioned that she didn't like what girls are like. We tried to probe further of what she means and she just shrugged her shoulders. I think it has more to do with that she doesn't fit with more clique-y girls at school so she using this as an out.

Reading through this message board, I nodded my head a bunch, like, yep, that totally sounds like my kid. I am glad I am not alone. It took me awhile to find a place because everything that I searched for about trans kids was about total acceptance and affirmation and not questioning whether it is truly the right thing for your kid.

We are working on getting therapy and so glad that I have done some homework so I can find a neutral therapist instead of a "transgender specialist" which was my first instinct because I naively thought they would help my kid explore and discover who she really is and not just simply affirm and lead her down a path of making a life altering change with severe consequences.

Hello, ChunkyMonkey, and welcome to the board. I'm glad you've found us but sorry you have the need to. Your story sounds very familiar; so many of us have found ourselves in similar positions, with both boys and girls.

Your account has been activated. I recommend posting in the members-only area as forum members don't visit this public portion of the board all that much. I hope you find the forum helpful.

Best wishes.

[giraffe4]

Hello, I would also like my account activated please.

My story seems to be mostly the same as the others. 13yo daughter wants to be a boy.

The biggest difference is that I also think she is mentally ill. Her behavior and personality had a sudden dramatic change. She went from being happy, healthy, goody-two-shoes, kind, lots of friends.... to emo-appearing, friendless, rude, plus stealing things, cutting, lying, and recently homicidal ideations.

I think we did find a good therapist. But my problem is that she needs actual psychiatric care and I am terrified of taking her to the wrong kind of place. I think she needs meds, but I don't know where to go. We really think that her personality change and scary behaviors are a result of being socially affirmed at school. So any psych facility that is affirming could make it a lot worse.

---

Can someone post a list of the web sites that we should be concerned about (maybe to block)?

Hello, I'm sure there is info in the members-only area.  I'm not approved yet so idk.

But we blocked just about everything on our daughter's phone.  The only thing she can do is text and listen to music.  I have heard to block: reddit, youtube, ticktock, snapchat, tumbler, and any kind of anime/manga websites.

[Marge Bouvier Simpson]

Hello, I would also like my account activated please.

My story seems to be mostly the same as the others.  13yo daughter wants to be a boy.

The biggest difference is that I also think she is mentally ill.  Her behavior and personality had a sudden dramatic change.  She went from being happy, healthy, goody-two-shoes, kind, lots of friends.... to emo-appearing, friendless, rude, plus stealing things, cutting, lying, and recently homicidal ideations. 

I think we did find a good therapist.  But my problem is that she needs actual psychiatric care and I am terrified of taking her to the wrong kind of place.  I think she needs meds, but I don't know where to go.  We really think that her personality change and scary behaviors are a result of being socially affirmed at school.  So any psych facility that is affirming could make it a lot worse.

---

Can someone post a list of the web sites that we should be concerned about (maybe to block)?

Hello, I'm sure there is info in the members-only area.  I'm not approved yet so idk.

But we blocked just about everything on our daughter's phone.  The only thing she can do is text and listen to music.  I have heard to block: reddit, youtube, ticktock, snapchat, tumbler, and any kind of anime/manga websites.

Hi, giraffe4, your account is activated.

I's sorry about your daughter's mental health issues. Can you take her to a private psychiatrist for outpatient care? If so, try to find one who is older and well experienced, as they seem less apt to buy into gender nonsense. I also recommend posting your question in the members-only area, where it is likely to get more response.

I hope you find the forum helpful. Welcome.

[tomv5001]

Hello, my story is similar to many others here. I'm a devastated father.  My daughter (14) has just announced to us that she has been "trans" for a year.  Never presented any signs of masculinity growing up, she wore dresses , didn't play with boys, even asked us to paint her bedroom pink. After she attended middle school with a magnet program in visual arts she began to associate with LGBTQ students. I read the book "irreversible damage" and it describes her to a letter. I have spoken with her several times and she is convinced that she is "trans", even cries when I explain to her the fundamentals of biology. She has picked out a male name and would like us to call her by it. I had her see a therapist who affirmed her that she is probably correct that she is trans and her parents may simply be old fashioned. She talks to her best friend (a pansexual girl I just learned)  every day for hours and hours, who refers to her as he/him. Also they have a romantic relationship which she denies from me. We live in a traditional middle class household, her mother an I have been happily married for 19 years and we have an older son(17) who plays football and attend the same high school as her. 

Here is what I'm planning to do, I would appreciate any thoughts/advice. 
1. show her videos of Abigail Shrier , maybe I'll start with her interview in Joe Rogan's podcast. Explain that this is a contagion affecting teenage girls in particular, similar to many others in the past 
2. reduce the time she speaks with her friend to one hour a day. I thought about prohibiting it altogether but I'm afraid of how she'll react , speak with the "friend's" parents to tell them my concern and to not be surprised when I limit the phone calls. 
3. don't allow her to meet with her friend anymore. 
4. find more activities for her to do at school 
5. do not call her by her chosen pronouns or names
6. do not dictate what she wants to wear but do forbid certain items of clothing like men's boots for example

Am I too late ? is her future inevitable, like many other's,  until she realizes on her own that she has made a mistake

[Marge Bouvier Simpson]

Hello, my story is similar to many others here. I'm a devastated father.  My daughter (14) has just announced to us that she has been "trans" for a year.  Never presented any signs of masculinity growing up, she wore dresses , didn't play with boys, even asked us to paint her bedroom pink. After she attended middle school with a magnet program in visual arts she began to associate with LGBTQ students. I read the book "irreversible damage" and it describes her to a letter. I have spoken with her several times and she is convinced that she is "trans", even cries when I explain to her the fundamentals of biology. She has picked out a male name and would like us to call her by it. I had her see a therapist who affirmed her that she is probably correct that she is trans and her parents may simply be old fashioned. She talks to her best friend (a pansexual girl I just learned)  every day for hours and hours, who refers to her as he/him. Also they have a romantic relationship which she denies from me. We live in a traditional middle class household, her mother an I have been happily married for 19 years and we have an older son(17) who plays football and attend the same high school as her. 

Here is what I'm planning to do, I would appreciate any thoughts/advice. 
1. show her videos of Abigail Shrier , maybe I'll start with her interview in Joe Rogan's podcast. Explain that this is a contagion affecting teenage girls in particular, similar to many others in the past 
2. reduce the time she speaks with her friend to one hour a day. I thought about prohibiting it altogether but I'm afraid of how she'll react , speak with the "friend's" parents to tell them my concern and to not be surprised when I limit the phone calls. 
3. don't allow her to meet with her friend anymore. 
4. find more activities for her to do at school 
5. do not call her by her chosen pronouns or names
6. do not dictate what she wants to wear but do forbid certain items of clothing like men's boots for example

Am I too late ? is her future inevitable, like many other's,  until she realizes on her own that she has made a mistake

Hello, tomv5001,

Welcome to the board. I'm sorry for what you and your daughter are dealing with. Your story sounds similar to so many other stoires here on the board.

Your membership has been activated. I invite you to post your query in the members-only area, where it is more likely to be seen by and get responses from members. Most members do not visit this public area of the forum too often.

For a quick response to your questions, I'd say 2, 4, 5, and 6 are good places to start, but be careful with 1 and 3. Restricting friendships can often backfire as kids become more and more desperate to see each other if kept apart. The situation becomes romanticized with you as the evil villain in an us v. them scenario. As for showing videos, most detransitioners and desisters who have spoken out say this doesn't help, and some parents have found it makes their child more determined than ever to come across as "authentic trans" to convince themselves and everyone else the social contagion aspect doesn't apply to them. "Oh but that's not me, I really am trans" is usually the child's response. However, some parents make an agreement with their child that the child will watch one video of the parents' choosing and the parents will watch one video the child chooses. Some parents have found that carefully and only occasionally asking juduciously chosen questions helps, as well as encouraging the child develop critical thinking skills. Severely limiting or cutting social media and online access completely may also help. However settle in for a long ride as just about no kid comes out of this quickly.

Any action you take, make sure to frame it as a family online detox, or family social media detox (and apply it to all in the family) or as a measure to improve her grades or mental health, or perhaps as a consequence for some other action that is not allowed, such as being untruthful or disrespectful. Make sure it is not framed as a punishment for believing she is trans of as a way to help her stop thinking she is trans. 

Of course, every situation is different so your mileage may vary. I'm sure you'll get additional and more thorough advice in the members-only area.

Welcome to the forum. Best wishes to you and your daughter.

[ThePandemicCheeseBrother]

Yesterday I was accosted by a hideous Trans woman, or man wanna-be I guess! [/url]@evantesseract [url=https://twitter.com/evantesseract/status/1458152648666910729]Evan's Outrage, HER VERSION OF HISTORY! 


They provoked a negative response and got my Twitter account suspended. I had merely posted a reply to a tweet from the Auschwitz Museum Twitter account saying that "there were LGBT people murdered there too, but this individual replied "You don't speak for the Queers, hush."

It felt very personal. Who is this woman who thinks they're a MAN coming at me as if I claimed to be speaking for anyone but myself!? It's suddenly not PC for a WHITE CIS GAY MAN to point out a fact about the Holocaust?

They got the anti-Trans reply they wanted, and then Quote Tweeted it with a call to "MASS REPORT" me. They succeeded in getting my account suspended.

It's an art therapy account which I made during a time when I was struggling with thoughts of suicide. Having that account taken away after seven months of working on it and building my Following!-because of a woman with a vagina that wants to turn it into a rage penis feels inclined to "Correct" people on the internet [it's her MO on that account]. Also, they have a GoFundMe for their transition they share, which I'm certain is part of what I experienced too. They pick a fight with a CIS man, it was in my bio, and then invoke a negative response, cry FOUL to their Followers, and then in turn after the "bad CIS man" has been hammered into oblivion by the Twitter algorithm, no concern for what they might do to themselves mind you, they see a surge in their GFM donations. #TransSympathy Money! I had never had any contact with this person, they had no authority to come at me in any way, much less to tell me to HUSH about who was or wasn't EXTERMINATED in the Holocaust! 

I've had this happen before, but never to the extent of being Mass Reported for the purpose of WIPING ME OUT FROM EXISTENCE. I'm just a lonely Emojo Man trying to catch a break and build my career. This person is literally cannibalizing their own LGBTQ brethren for her own SATANIC PURPOSES! Mutilation of your body, or the desire to do so, to assuage a Mental Illness is not OK. These people are so sick they attack EVERYONE else who doesn't hand them their hard earned money and support. I'm not bound to accept anyone's "identity." As a rule I AM accepting, I really don't give a damn what you do with your body, whether it's abortion or sex work or whatever! BUT don't attack my gender identity, don't turn an ally into an enemy like this WOMAN who THINKS she's a man did! It is for that reason, amongst others [I've never had a pleasant interaction with a TRANS, and it's ON THEM because I was nothing but friendly and as accepting as I could naturally be] that I no longer JUST GIVE my support to TRANS people, in fact I could say enough bad experiences have turned me Transphobic, which is unfortunate because I'll admit I've had thoughts about "maybe being more of a woman on the inside, in my own disposition/nature, but I decided long ago to LOVE my body which God blessed me with. My penis is not something I could ever imagine losing or having "cut off" and turned into a vagina! I can explore my feminine aspects just fine in my male body! I think these angry Trans women who hate CIS Men have no freaking clue what it's like to be a man, they've just been hurt by them so much they want to become the thing they hate so they know what it feels like to be STRONG instead of weak. 

I don't know if you all are LGB friendly or not. Maybe I just walked into a den of vipers. I don't care. Please show her what happens to people that attack CIS WHITE people for defending rights and freedom of speech! They need to be SHUT DOWN so they can stop scamming innocent LGBTQ Allies out of their money. I guarantee "Evan" is using that money to live off of, and none of it will ever go to a transition. Isn't that usually the way? They collect their #TransSympathyMoney claiming another CIS MAN injured them, until someone comes along to PAY FOR THEIR TRANSITION. 

Or, if you people are supportive of new artists, I only started this in Feb2021, but since August I've been making digital art! I pissed off the "Michael Jackson definitely wasn't a Pedophile" section Twitter last month by simply expressing my opinion that he did it, he was a freak and while I still enjoy his music which is my right, the man he was was a MONSTER! I believe it.

Trans people have just stepped up as the new demographic I have no more tolerance for. At least the ones who come to Twitter for "turn my vagina into a rage penis!" If you pick on one CIS person, you pick on us all! Right?

https://www.PandemicCheeseBrother.com

@ThePandemica [suspended account is @PCBPresents with all my art and personal expressions since March GONE because of this hateful WOMAN trying to get people to see her as a man]!

I could really use the support right now! It's my 45th Birthday next month, and I have no one in my life because I married a toxic person who's so damn negative no one can stand us. So I don't know what 45 looks like for me, spending it alone, maybe going somewhere and killing myself, who can say when I have toxic Trans women trying to CUT OFF MY PENIS metaphorically?
My "cartoons" to date. I've been self-teaching myself how to do it on a very old PC without one of those fancy animation programs, using MSPaint/Paint3D and a video Editor to experiment with. I'm currently working on a "Bosom Buddies" spoof which I think possibly set off this Trans lunatic, but really has NOTHING to do with them or the Trans community at all. It's just MY ART! Don't I have a right to create and share my art without being "shut down" by She-Man CIS Men haters?

Dave Chappelle was RIGHT about this community being just the most AWFUL community out there! I didn't deserve to be taken down for my art. That's so unAmerican and not very LGBTQ inclusive! The allies that participated in that #CyberMurder of a fictional character/identity are not true allies, they jumped at HER beck and call, she went from AGGRESSOR to Victim as quickly as Twitter shut off my account/voice!

If someone can help reverse the suspension I'd also appreciate it! It's just my freedom of speech on trial there. I did say to her that if she has a vagina she's a woman, and I stand by that as MY PERSONAL OPINON. I wasn't Transphobic before this incident, but I am now! I want nothing to do with those people, and that's on them because I've been nothing but accepting of them until now, even when they attacked me for being CIS!

Preview of Bosom Buddies Episode of Pandemica The Series

[Marge Bouvier Simpson]

Hello, Pandemic Cheese Brother.

I'm sorry to hear about your twitter troubles. This forum is for parents who are worried about the transgender social contagion among kids, teens and young adults. We definitely are LGB friendly; our main concerns are the trans medicalization of kids and young adults and the affirmation-only approach when kids and young adults take on a trans identity. I can't speak for 100% of us, but I do think I can accurately say most of us are not worried about having an LGB son or daughter, we just don't want our kids to be hastily medicalized only to have regrets and/or health issues down the road. We also don't like what we see as far as kids being groomed into thinking they are trans and pressured to transition.

I'm not sure that any of us have an pull at Twitter to help you get your account back, but I have heard of people contesting their suspensions and getting their account back upon appeal. I'm not exactly sure how that works, though.

Best wishes to you in getting your Twutter account back. I hope you have a hppy birthday, as well.

[Guest]

Hello, Pandemic Cheese Brother.

I'm sorry to hear about your twitter troubles. This forum is for parents who are worried about the transgender social contagion among kids, teens and young adults. We definitely are LGB friendly; our main concerns are the trans medicalization of kids and young adults and the affirmation-only approach when kids and young adults take on a trans identity. I can't speak for 100% of us, but I do think I can accurately say most of us are not worried about having an LGB son or daughter, we just don't want our kids to be hastily medicalized only to have regrets and/or health issues down the road. We also don't like what we see as far as kids being groomed into thinking they are trans and pressured to transition.

I'm not sure that any of us have an pull at Twitter to help you get your account back, but I have heard of people contesting their suspensions and getting their account back upon appeal. I'm not exactly sure how that works, though.

Best wishes to you in getting your Twutter account back. I hope you have a hppy birthday, as well.

Right on Marge! [used to love the Simpsons in the 90s!] I can say as a GAY MAN who dabbled in the realms of the scene with drugs and sex, I DID feel like some of those people were grooming me to take on TRANS attributes. I too often found myself in the company of someone who pushed and pushed me to cross dress for them, and who otherwise took advantage of my altered state of mind to CONVINCE me that I'm trans. To this day that traumatic experience haunts me! And then being accosted on social media by trans people who show me intolerance and HATE because I am comfortable in my masculinity was just the final straw. I think weaker people succumb to those influences, especially when they become addicted. I was able to break that cycle for myself by returning to Cannabis use, and cutting myself off from the LGBTQIA+ community because I found no allies there. Most of my fellow LGBers side with a trans person by default, even when they're the ones being provocative to suit their own agendas, i.e. getting that #TransSympathy money sent to their GoFundMe. Twitter is rife with GFM scammers, but these self-entitled and quite damaged/broken Trans women who want to be men are just about the worst offenders! Using their condition as an excuse for not being able to take care of themselves so they have to divide and conquer within their own "community?"


I know my account is probably lost. I archived it last month because I felt the TRANS HATE coming at me for identifying as a CIS GAY MAN. I can't tell you how hard that is for someone who literally was prepared to commit suicide back in Jan/Feb of this year! Isolated from friends and family by an abusive spouse, and being treated as less than on Social Media sharing my POV, humor and ART. Not a very accepting experience! So why the hell should I continue to play their game of see me how I want you to see me, when to me they're just ungrateful for the body the Good Lord above us all GAVE THEM!? 

For too long we've let them flounder on land, choking on their own rhetoric, influencing younger generations to QUESTION their own identity when, if left alone, they'd figure it out just fine as you say! I do think their choices for their own lives can be valid, but the way they go about it, playing victim, turning allies into enemies, I guess I can play that too! I don't wish any harm on them, but at the same time we reap what we sow, and they are just a little too comfortable getting in CIS people's faces so I guess we're going to have to #PunchDown HARDER to make them understand they don't rule the world, nor will we tolerate their CIS intolerance any longer when most of us didn't do a damned thing to them!


Best of luck with your TRANS identifying kids. I think they might just be acting out, but you can't say that because it just feeds it. At the end of the day it's their life/body, you may have given it to them, and you can hope they cherish it, but is acceptance not better for flesh and blood than rejection? They're going to be rejected for the rest of their natural lives, if they're anything like the trans I've met, I pity them for their jaded dispositions and wish that they DO find acceptance if they embark on that journey to change the nature of their biology which to me is a symptom of a psychological disorder and not a valid life choice, but I'm just the abuse survivor gay dude with a pillow over my face, so what do I know about anything or life, right? I wish I had a better message for the Trans community, but I just don't. My thoughts are my own, derived from nearly five decades of experience with ALL TYPES of Human Beings. They weren't all bad, but enough of a few demographics were to wound my otherwise open heart and mind enough to "LOCK THE DOOR TIGHT" on them! Let's have a Kiki if they want! But no more of that CIS Intolerance is going to fly with me! Also, white Trans people telling me anything about People of Color needs to stop! They're just as WHITE as I am. POC don't need any help turning THEIR allies [I will always be a #BLM true believer because I lived in a community where I saw the system of discrimination do a lot of damage to my peers, while treating me like some precious soul to protect from the wild ones in the courtyard participating in a race riot; Perris High School in California 1994ish during lunch my last day attending before returning to my white bubble on Long Island. They didn't hurt me, I was irrelevant to both sides because they hated each other, black and Hispanic, the memory of that, seeing CHILDREN attacking each other for no discernable reason, it makes me the shut-in/recluse I am today, but I know we live in a [somewhat] better world today. I have hope for the future we can all get along and live the dream MLK shared with the world and died for!

Thank you for hearing me and again best of luck with your own concerns regarding these troubled people that seek to do to CIS people the thing they accuse CIS people of doing to them, oppression. Having a Twitter account #CyberMurdered by Mass Reporting is a form of #CyberBullying, and I'll admit it evoked those suicidal thoughts.

I'm sure the rhetoric, if I had conceded to her forceful attempt to convince me to delete my tweet/sentiment reminding people that "LGBT people were exterminated by the Nazis at Auschwitz too!"-as to say the history is often quite mute about that fact-but if I had given in? What then? Would I have had to endure being bashed over the head by all her trans friends? And to what purpose, to exterminate my self-pride, confidence, sense of what I know to be true for myself? The very act of scorching a gay artists account like that is Nazi-esque in itself! They are the very oppressors they cry foul on at every turn when they don't get what THEY want from other people. I'm just there to share my views and artistic expressions. I know they're not for everybody, but I deserve to be accepted for WHO I AM and treated with the same respect these people demand with a nasty attitude from literally everyone they encounter on a daily basis. I won't be knocked down by someone who by all appearances enjoys a higher status on social media just by declaring their body is in conflict with their inner psyche. No #TransSympathyMoney from this Pandemic Cheese Brother & Sister! Homies don't play that! I hope Evan gets the help she needs and stops breeding hate. I feel like she threw down with someone who she severely underestimated. I know my own strengths, don't force me to fine tune them to enact justice! It's a gift I don't enjoy having to use, and I always win in the end because I'm righteous and free of sin like Jesus!