04-Nov-2021, 07:41 PM
Hello, my story is similar to many others here. I'm a devastated father. My daughter (14) has just announced to us that she has been "trans" for a year. Never presented any signs of masculinity growing up, she wore dresses , didn't play with boys, even asked us to paint her bedroom pink. After she attended middle school with a magnet program in visual arts she began to associate with LGBTQ students. I read the book "irreversible damage" and it describes her to a letter. I have spoken with her several times and she is convinced that she is "trans", even cries when I explain to her the fundamentals of biology. She has picked out a male name and would like us to call her by it. I had her see a therapist who affirmed her that she is probably correct that she is trans and her parents may simply be old fashioned. She talks to her best friend (a pansexual girl I just learned) every day for hours and hours, who refers to her as he/him. Also they have a romantic relationship which she denies from me. We live in a traditional middle class household, her mother an I have been happily married for 19 years and we have an older son(17) who plays football and attend the same high school as her.
Here is what I'm planning to do, I would appreciate any thoughts/advice.
1. show her videos of Abigail Shrier , maybe I'll start with her interview in Joe Rogan's podcast. Explain that this is a contagion affecting teenage girls in particular, similar to many others in the past
2. reduce the time she speaks with her friend to one hour a day. I thought about prohibiting it altogether but I'm afraid of how she'll react , speak with the "friend's" parents to tell them my concern and to not be surprised when I limit the phone calls.
3. don't allow her to meet with her friend anymore.
4. find more activities for her to do at school
5. do not call her by her chosen pronouns or names
6. do not dictate what she wants to wear but do forbid certain items of clothing like men's boots for example
Am I too late ? is her future inevitable, like many other's, until she realizes on her own that she has made a mistake
Here is what I'm planning to do, I would appreciate any thoughts/advice.
1. show her videos of Abigail Shrier , maybe I'll start with her interview in Joe Rogan's podcast. Explain that this is a contagion affecting teenage girls in particular, similar to many others in the past
2. reduce the time she speaks with her friend to one hour a day. I thought about prohibiting it altogether but I'm afraid of how she'll react , speak with the "friend's" parents to tell them my concern and to not be surprised when I limit the phone calls.
3. don't allow her to meet with her friend anymore.
4. find more activities for her to do at school
5. do not call her by her chosen pronouns or names
6. do not dictate what she wants to wear but do forbid certain items of clothing like men's boots for example
Am I too late ? is her future inevitable, like many other's, until she realizes on her own that she has made a mistake