01-Mar-2021, 06:05 AM
Hi, I just submitted my request for an account so it hasn't been approved yet. I don't know where to start. Reading so many of the comments on this forum is both encouraging, scary and sad. But we are glad we found a resource such as this. The culture we live in today is stressful enough and you never think it's going to come for you until you have a 11 year old daughter who "out of nowhere" drops an email into your Inbox with all Caps that read: OUT OF THE CLOSET BREAKING NEWS. Our hearts hit the floor. Especially since the first line shut us down and left us with no recourse but devastated: "Please promise you won't sit down and talk to me about this...." I mean what have we come too. A little backstory probably would help, and I think some of the decisions we've made plays into my DD behavior. My husband was recently transferred overseas with his job. We had to move from a location that they loved. They had great friends, great school, great support, were stars in their sports, they were confident (albeit reserved), and had great grades. Then we get to our new location and Covid hits. Lockdowns, no sports, no friends, no school, no get togethers. In a foreign country. I could see that this has been hard on them both. Especially when they see their friends on my FB page playing on the teams they were on and having sleepovers and get together, while we are under strict quarantine orders. So we lightened up on Internet usage so they could keep in touch with friends back home. They promised us they would only talk to their friends that they knew. No social media accounts, no private chats with anyone else. It was fine for awhile, then they started to talking to friends of friends, first as a group, then as solo private messages. We should of known, once you give them a digital device, they are open to the wild. It's been about a year now living in these lock downs. But long story short, after she told us we started reading her text messages. There is one girl in the group who seems to know all the lingo of this new trend and encouraged my daughter to "come out." So she did. She did it first to this group of online friends, one her old best friend and this other girl she has never met in person. Not even to her sister or too us, that hurts the most. She refuses to talk to us or her twin sister.
We don't have the medical resources where we are located and I don't trust them to begin with. What I don't understand is that she has never expressed interest in boys or girls. She was a kid, growing up. We tried to monitor what they watched and realized no matter what the innuendo or exploitation was slipped in there by media or hollywood or game designers, etc. Things I never really saw until I really looked. I feel like she is lost and alone. She's always been a follower and reserved. We took her from everything she knew during her very fragile formative years and placed her into this situation. I'm hoping this is a phase, but I don't know. So according to her email she wants to be a Demigirl, non-binary, gender-fluid. Which I never heard of course, because when I grew up there was male and female and if you were gay, it was Gay and Lesbian. I don't think she really understands the terms and I can't confirm it because she is shut in. We're afraid she is going to go down this path and get to far down to find her way back. We love her so much. I'm also tired of the tears that just don't stop. She sees me crying, but does not make the connection that she brought upon us. We don't want to put our burden on her, but we feel she has some responsibility in this and needs to explain. In today's world where her friends say "She's validated" means more than the facts. I love my kids so much, but sometimes I wonder if we really did them justice by bringing them into the current world we live in. We don't know what to do or who to talk to. But we hope this forum will help brings us some answers or some hope.
We don't have the medical resources where we are located and I don't trust them to begin with. What I don't understand is that she has never expressed interest in boys or girls. She was a kid, growing up. We tried to monitor what they watched and realized no matter what the innuendo or exploitation was slipped in there by media or hollywood or game designers, etc. Things I never really saw until I really looked. I feel like she is lost and alone. She's always been a follower and reserved. We took her from everything she knew during her very fragile formative years and placed her into this situation. I'm hoping this is a phase, but I don't know. So according to her email she wants to be a Demigirl, non-binary, gender-fluid. Which I never heard of course, because when I grew up there was male and female and if you were gay, it was Gay and Lesbian. I don't think she really understands the terms and I can't confirm it because she is shut in. We're afraid she is going to go down this path and get to far down to find her way back. We love her so much. I'm also tired of the tears that just don't stop. She sees me crying, but does not make the connection that she brought upon us. We don't want to put our burden on her, but we feel she has some responsibility in this and needs to explain. In today's world where her friends say "She's validated" means more than the facts. I love my kids so much, but sometimes I wonder if we really did them justice by bringing them into the current world we live in. We don't know what to do or who to talk to. But we hope this forum will help brings us some answers or some hope.
