From the Members

[Marge Bouvier Simpson]

(edited...)

I am lost and have no idea what to do at this point. 

Am I the Crazy one here?

Hi and welcome to the forum. I am so sorry you are having to deal with this and I'm glad to hear your daughter is feeling better.

I must say you are absolutely not the crazy one. IMHO your daughter's case is a classic one, so similar to what we see here very often: young kid latching onto a new identity when things aren't going so great in their life. It seems so many of our kids are using a trans identity to either hide or get attention or a weird combination of both, or deal with stress, or become someone new in order to escape the trials they are going through. We see it here again and again, girls get their period or develop a womanly body, and bam - suddenly they are a boy, because boys don't have to deal with having the body of an adult woman or the baggage and expectations that go along with being a woman today. With kids of either sex, perhaps their parents divorce or a loved one passes away, a parent's job makes it necessary for the family to move away, maybe a sibling is diagnosed with a serious medical condition, or their best friends gang up and dump them, and bam - suddenly they are trans.

Of course every kid is different, but I think for some, taking on a new identity gives them a feeling of control over their lives. They can't control their maturing body, they can't control their parents splitting up or their friends dropping them, but if they take on a new identity, they can become someone who they think is is cool or brave or sweet (or whatever), and they also gain a good deal of control and power. Suddenly kids who might have been brushed aside (while adults dealt with more pressing issues) are allowed to call the shots, to dictate to adults what they must be called and how they must be treated.

So no, you are not the crazy one. Your account has been activated if you would like to join us in the members-only area. You've posted a good deal of information here that may allow your daughter to recognize herself if she happens to come across this public area of the forum. I am happy to move it to the members-only area; just let me know.

Welcome. You are not crazy, and you are not alone.