07-Sep-2018, 10:28 PM
Welcome, LovingMom.
Your story sounds so similar to so many of ours. I'm assuming you've already read how so many of these ROGD kids have autism or other issues such as ADHD, OCD, BPD, depression, anxiety, etc. Some other common threads seem to be kids that have suffered trauma, whether that means sexual assault, bullying, rejection by friends, death of a loved one, family issues such as divorce or a sibling that is seriously ill or disabled, moving to a new town, etc. Some kids are coming to terms with being homosexual and additionally may have been bullied for being an effeminate boy or a masculine girl. Some are simply very suggestible and are following along with what friends are doing and saying. Personally I think some girls are so put off by the porn they are exposed to online, that becoming male seems like their best strategy for avoiding the sick sexual abuse depicted against women in porn. It seems some kids are attention-seeking, or perhaps more likely, want control. Kids who are low on the school social status scale come out as trans, and suddenly they get to tell their parents how to act and how to treat them, teachers bend over backwards for them, they get their own bathrooms at school, get to choose their own name, are protected from bullies, maybe even get a big school assembly in their honor or written up in the newspaper for being brave and wonderful.
Your d may not even understand her own reasons for what is going on.
You'll find the typical advice here is to avoid "gender specialists" at all costs, delete or at least heavily cut back on and monitor the internet, and to get your d involved in as many enrichment-type activities as possible, working in some critical thinking skills (Can a girl really become a boy? Any rational, critical thinker will say NO). Most parents here also let their kids wear whatever clothes and hairstyles they want, but draw the line at binders, name changes and opposite-sex pronouns (however, every family is different and each must work out what strategies are best for them).
I'm sorry you had a need for this site, but glad you found it. There is much more information and advice here than what I've written above. You'll find much emotional support here, as well. You are not alone.
Your story sounds so similar to so many of ours. I'm assuming you've already read how so many of these ROGD kids have autism or other issues such as ADHD, OCD, BPD, depression, anxiety, etc. Some other common threads seem to be kids that have suffered trauma, whether that means sexual assault, bullying, rejection by friends, death of a loved one, family issues such as divorce or a sibling that is seriously ill or disabled, moving to a new town, etc. Some kids are coming to terms with being homosexual and additionally may have been bullied for being an effeminate boy or a masculine girl. Some are simply very suggestible and are following along with what friends are doing and saying. Personally I think some girls are so put off by the porn they are exposed to online, that becoming male seems like their best strategy for avoiding the sick sexual abuse depicted against women in porn. It seems some kids are attention-seeking, or perhaps more likely, want control. Kids who are low on the school social status scale come out as trans, and suddenly they get to tell their parents how to act and how to treat them, teachers bend over backwards for them, they get their own bathrooms at school, get to choose their own name, are protected from bullies, maybe even get a big school assembly in their honor or written up in the newspaper for being brave and wonderful.
Your d may not even understand her own reasons for what is going on.
You'll find the typical advice here is to avoid "gender specialists" at all costs, delete or at least heavily cut back on and monitor the internet, and to get your d involved in as many enrichment-type activities as possible, working in some critical thinking skills (Can a girl really become a boy? Any rational, critical thinker will say NO). Most parents here also let their kids wear whatever clothes and hairstyles they want, but draw the line at binders, name changes and opposite-sex pronouns (however, every family is different and each must work out what strategies are best for them).
I'm sorry you had a need for this site, but glad you found it. There is much more information and advice here than what I've written above. You'll find much emotional support here, as well. You are not alone.
