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Joining The Support Board
(26-Aug-2020, 02:32 PM)Funkyfisha 33 Wrote: Hi, I'm new.

My 13 year old daughter has always been a tomboy, at the weekend we found out she has been feeling depressed & suicidal. Her main issues was her own body and wanting to be a boy which we are absolutely fine with. She wants to be called Alex and live as a boy again which is fine. We are awaiting a referral from a mental health team. I'm so worried about Alex going back to school and what the future will bring.

Hello funkyfisha 33,

Welcome to the forum. Your account has been activated. 

Very generally, parents here are skeptical of the benefits of children and young adults socially or medically transitioning. We believe affirming a person as the opposite sex should be a last resort rather than the go-to reaction. Many of these kids eventually change their minds about wanting to be the opposite sex, so we see the rush to affirm kids as transgender worrying and harmful. Again I am using broad generalizations, but most of our kids have underlying issues which when looked at very closely seem to be feeding the child's desire to be the opposite sex, such as autism, depression, anxiety, same-sex attraction, or a desire to rebel from their sex's expected stereotypes. Other common issues that we see over and over again include kids who have been adopted, bullied, sexually harassed or assaulted, exposed to violent or otherwise graphic porn, or who have experienced recent loss or trauma, such as parents divorcing or a close friend or family member passing away or moving away. Many girls your daughter's age find it scary or traumatizing that their body is rapidly changing into the body of an adult woman. There is also social contagion going on, with groups of friends all coming out as trans within a short period of time, and kids coming out as trans after binge-watching transgender "transformation" videos which basically present transition as a miracle cure for those who are feeling anxious, depressed or like they don't belong.

I hope the mental health team you are referred to will not automatically affirm your daughter as a transgender boy. I hope instead they will see to it that she gets years of talk therapy (as opposed to several weeks or months) to work out why she wishes to be the opposite sex. 

Again, welcome to the forum. I hope you will find it helpful.
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