Joining The Support Board

[Guest]

I keep messaging...I'm locked out its indiegirl1965 please e mail me with a password thanks

[Mandy1104]

Hello , I’m new here, I seem to be registered but do not see the members only section yet. My 11 yr old daughter just told me last that she wants to be a boy. She had been showing signs in the last
Couple months of wanting to cut her hair short and wearing baggy clothes but, I just thought it was normal puberty related angst. I feel like I’ve been punched in the gut because she has shown no signs of any gender confusion prior to a couple months ago , she has also been depressed and had a lot of anxiety in the last 3-4 months as well, again, seemed to coincide with starting her period but she has also been spending way too much time online and I know she often chats with her online friends about the idea of being gay, etc. I monitor her use fairly closely and talk to her when I see in appropriate content but perhaps she’s being exposed to ideas that I’m not aware of. I don’t want to dismiss her but I don’t want to encourage a passing phase, if that’s what it is. How do I know?

[LovingAussieMum]

I think my account may have to be activated? Not sure where I can enter my activation code?

[Marge Bouvier Simpson]

Hello and welcome to Mandy1104 and LovingAussieMom,

Sorry for the delay, your accounts have now been activated. Please post back if you still cannot access the members-only area.

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[quote pid='34575' dateline='1574218343']
I keep messaging...I'm locked out its indiegirl1965 please e mail me with a password thanks
[/quote]
Indiegirl, sorry for the delay. Hang tight, I will see what I can do. I will message back soon.

[Guest]

Hello - My daughter Logan(14) is going through what seems to be a VERY rapid onset of Gender Dysphoria. She announced last month that she is transgender and relates more to being a boy than a girl. We went from circle skirts, dresses and hair braiding this past September to wanting to be a boy (cutting hair, binding breasts etc.). This came as a shock to my husband and I. Logan is a very kind and reasonable young girl - a good friend, wise soul and wonderful daughter. Recently, she started a new school and has a new group of friends in the LGBTQ community that has accepted her. Don't get me wrong, we are very accepting of the LGBTQ community but it feels as if things are spinning out of control very quickly. I can't help but wonder if this is a result of social contagion. I also wonder if there is more to her story - something that she afraid to tell us. I think this is a strong possibility.

We of course are supportive of Logan and want to do the right thing. We just have a lot of questions and are not sure where to turn. We feel like we are alone in this, working around a very complex (and perhaps outdated) medical system and frightened. We would love to join this forum. Thanks!!!

[Marge Bouvier Simpson]

Hello, guest.

It is very troubling and confusing when a child takes a sudden 90-degree turn in their life and personality and out of the blue claims to be transgender. I think parents could take it all in stride if it wasn't for the medicalization, as the treatments are often experimental, permanent and even dangerous to one's health. Another troubling aspect about a child suddenly claiming to be transgender is that they typically are affirmed by doctors and therapists as transgender very quickly, as well as being quickly approved for medical treatment, with little or no therapy, even of they had never before shown any inclination toward stereotypical opposite-sex behavior or preferences.

You may be on to something when you state your daughter could be keeping something from you, as many of our kids have suffered some sort of trauma which seems to make an opposite-sex identity very attractive to them and/or makes it seem as though becoming the opposite sex or a new person is the answer to their troubles.

So, despite being a supporter of the LGBTQ community, you are wise to be concerned. Wanting to ensure that your child gets the safest, best, most thorough and most appropriate medical and psychological care is not transphobic, although others may accuse you of transphobia when they learn you are not ready to sign your kid up for a lifetime of ongoing, invasive, experimental medical treatment.

I invite you to join the forum, where you can communicate in our members-only area with other like-minded parents whose kids are in similar situations. To join, simply click on the word "register" in the black band towards the top of this page. Once you have entered your email address and chosen a username and password, your account must then be manually activated by a moderator. This can take anywhere from an hour or two to a day, so please be patient at that stage.

I hope you'll consider registering. All the best to you and your daughter.

[Marge Bouvier Simpson]

Hello to a new member who registered within the last 12 hours or so... I am so sorry but I accidentally deleted your account rather than activating it. I do not remember your chosen user name to address you personally, and I cannot figure out how to retrieve any information from the deleted account, or how to restore it. Please register again. I am so sorry. I certainly hope you will see this message and re-register. Again, I am so sorry.

[mel79]

Hello, I can't seem to access the private forum. Do I need to be activated? Thanks.

[Marge Bouvier Simpson]

Hi Mel79,

Your account has now been activated. Welcome.

[Auntie Seagull]

Our Bulletin Board is run for parents and families by parents and families who share the experience of coping with a child, teenager or young adult who believes she or he is transgender. 

Anyone in that situation is welcome to join us. But first:

Some points about confidentiality:

The board was set up as a place for us to discuss our stories, issues and problems in a respectful and non-judgemental space. However, we have no way to verify the identity of members. 

We Cannot Guarantee Confidentiality.

Therefore, we cannot guarantee that everyone on the board will be there in good faith. It is probably safe to operate under the assumption that the forum is being watched by those who would wish us ill. 

Choose an anonymous user name, don't reveal identifying details about yourself, and use appropriate caution when interacting with others on the forum. 

The system requires a valid email address as part of the registration process. This email is stored in case you forget your password, but is not visible to other members unless you explicitly choose to make it visible.

The system logs all personal messages and emails sent from the board.  These are not visible to other members, but can be seen by the moderators and may be examined if you are suspected of abusive behaviour. The moderators may examine the message logs to check that personal messages are not being abused. The moderators have not wish to police what people think or say, but will try protect the members from abuse and take whatever steps they feel are needed.

What's On the board Stays on the board 

We ask you to respect the privacy and confidentiality of other members of the board.
 
By registering on this discussion system you agree that you will not disclose, share, download or copy any information or text posted on the discussion system by other users without their explicit permission. You will not describe, discuss or report information about the system, users or material that they have posted. 

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By continuing with the sign up process you agree to the above rules and any others that the Administrator specifies.

If you wish to join us, you can click the registration link above. After you have filled in and submitted your details, you will receive an email. If you follow the instructions in the email, your membership will then be held up until a moderator approves it, when you will receive another email to tell you that you are a full member of the board.

Once you are registered.

You will be able to see the members sections of the board.

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Hi there! I'm new here and I'm not familiar with discussion boards so forgive me if I post the wrong thing into the wrong thread. I am glad I found this place because our daughter, 16, has identified as trans some months ago and we can't see how she could be a boy. Whatever I read here from others is true for her, too. 
We're in Europe and it was only when I looked on english language websites that I finally found some resources that were not of the prevailing vein (or how can I put this?)

D has had some issues with sensory integration as a small child, body awareness, balance and low muscle tension. My idea is that maybe this is part of the problem now. She just finds it hard to connect with her own body maybe and that might lead here to believe her being in the wrong body?She's not ADS but something similar is true for her. Dyslexia applies to and also some Dyspraxia.

By the way can someone explain where the ADS connection is coming from?

She's always been a very easy going laid back person, very easy to handle for us parents, very eager to please and help others. She was never very strong willed and was easily convinced to do or not do things that we needed het to do. You know, when we needed it, simple things like having to go out or do something like visits or shopping. Other kids would throw tantrums, she was okay after some explaining. From when she was 11 or so this started to change and we thought: Oh, it's about time she felt her own will and expressed it, too. She was starting to get real angry sometimes and raging. And of course now this trans thing turns her into a real rebel...

And also she was always a bit different from other children in her class and ended up a loner. So now she has all these friends outside of school that see themselves as outsiders in society. She's now out and about and hanging out with other teenagers
In that respect we are glad for her to finally have found a peer group.
Only it's all build on this idea of not being a cis girls and not being straight. Apparently in that group there is one straight boy and he's the token cis straight boy.

We hope  obviously that she will see sense in the not too distant future and is accepted as the token cis and possibly even straight girl 

One thing is remarkable, too. When she comes home from trans meetings she's rather bad tempered and keeps at a distance. But when she does something unrelated to trans, she becomes this softened happier person again. E.g. she likes child minding/baby sitting. So she comes home relaxed and quite contented from that little job she has.