17-Mar-2018, 01:43 PM
Newbie...
Just joined today. My soon to be 18 year old daughter announced that she is trans last night. We've had hints recently that this was coming but this was still difficult to process. She has never given any indication that wasn't happy as a girl. In doing some research last night tho I've found some interesting things; she is extremely bright, which it seems is a frequent trait. She has experienced loss within the past year, her best friend suddenly had a new best friend and she was left floundering socially. She has started hanging out with some new kids and seems happy but I know the loss was difficult. Also, she had a huge crush on a boy in her class. They had an on again, off again relationship that I think was more just friendship for him. I think he's moved on to someone else. It actually seems as tho she's trying to be like him with her new style. She has the same hair, similar glasses, clothing style, etc. Prior to this boy she's had a few boyfriends and more recently a girlfriend. We are extremely liberal (a lesbian couple together for over 25 years) and have tried to be supportive all the way around. Anyway, what I found seems to indicate kids are more likely to feel gender dysphoria if they are smart or gifted, have experienced loss, are stressed or shown signs of depression. Our daughter exhibits all of these characteristics. If she is genuinely trans and in the wrong body we can accept that. We just want to make sure this is not a reaction to other issues in her life. She does spend a lot of time staring at her phone. I believe in privacy so I have not snooped to see what she's looking at. Doing my own research tho I discovered several videos and discussion of kids celebrating transition as the cure all to unhappiness. I am planning to have another discussion with her today about taking a step back and slowing things down. Asking her if it could possibly be a reaction to things going on in her life. We also would like to set limits on social media time and try to come up with other options for down time. I'm sure that much of this will go over like a lead balloon but I feel the need to try. We want her college experience (next fall) to be great and are very concerned that starting off as trans will pigeonhole her into a lifestyle without experiencing other options. We live in a small town which can be very limiting. I think once she gets to college and experiences the variety of people she may choose a different path. Just not sure how to get her to consider other options. Ugh! Sorry for the rambling message. It's impossible to describe the situation in a few paragraphs. There are so many variables to consider. Any advice would be appreciated on how to slow things down without driving her away. Thanks for listening!
Just joined today. My soon to be 18 year old daughter announced that she is trans last night. We've had hints recently that this was coming but this was still difficult to process. She has never given any indication that wasn't happy as a girl. In doing some research last night tho I've found some interesting things; she is extremely bright, which it seems is a frequent trait. She has experienced loss within the past year, her best friend suddenly had a new best friend and she was left floundering socially. She has started hanging out with some new kids and seems happy but I know the loss was difficult. Also, she had a huge crush on a boy in her class. They had an on again, off again relationship that I think was more just friendship for him. I think he's moved on to someone else. It actually seems as tho she's trying to be like him with her new style. She has the same hair, similar glasses, clothing style, etc. Prior to this boy she's had a few boyfriends and more recently a girlfriend. We are extremely liberal (a lesbian couple together for over 25 years) and have tried to be supportive all the way around. Anyway, what I found seems to indicate kids are more likely to feel gender dysphoria if they are smart or gifted, have experienced loss, are stressed or shown signs of depression. Our daughter exhibits all of these characteristics. If she is genuinely trans and in the wrong body we can accept that. We just want to make sure this is not a reaction to other issues in her life. She does spend a lot of time staring at her phone. I believe in privacy so I have not snooped to see what she's looking at. Doing my own research tho I discovered several videos and discussion of kids celebrating transition as the cure all to unhappiness. I am planning to have another discussion with her today about taking a step back and slowing things down. Asking her if it could possibly be a reaction to things going on in her life. We also would like to set limits on social media time and try to come up with other options for down time. I'm sure that much of this will go over like a lead balloon but I feel the need to try. We want her college experience (next fall) to be great and are very concerned that starting off as trans will pigeonhole her into a lifestyle without experiencing other options. We live in a small town which can be very limiting. I think once she gets to college and experiences the variety of people she may choose a different path. Just not sure how to get her to consider other options. Ugh! Sorry for the rambling message. It's impossible to describe the situation in a few paragraphs. There are so many variables to consider. Any advice would be appreciated on how to slow things down without driving her away. Thanks for listening!
