About the Gender Critical Support Board

[deeply-concerned]

Good morning, I just joined this board. I'm in Massachusetts. My daughter went on hormones 2 years ago, which I deeply regretted. She was 20 and I couldn't stop her. We agreed to disagree. Now she/they wants top surgery. She's got a pcp and a therapist at college who have already written letters of support. I am desperate, and finding it hard to live with myself having let things get this far. So glad for this list. Would like to find Boston area parents for support.

[Marge Bouvier Simpson]

Good morning, I just joined this board. I'm in Massachusetts. My daughter went on hormones 2 years ago, which I deeply regretted. She was 20 and I couldn't stop her. We agreed to disagree. Now she/they wants top surgery. She's got a pcp and a therapist at college who have already written letters of support. I am desperate, and finding it hard to live with myself having let things get this far. So glad for this list. Would like to find Boston area parents for support.

Hi, mollyr. welcome to the board. Your account has been activated.

I'm so sorry about all of this. As tragic as it is and as badly as you feel about it, please don't blame yourself. Once a person is 18, they can legally undergo whatever medical transition treatments they want. Please don't feel like it's anything you've "allowed." In fact, many of us find that our kids dig their heels in harder and deeper when a parent tries to prevent their child from medicalizing, even when done in the most kind, sensitve manner. Other adults, such as the child's friends, teachers, doctors and therapists encourage medicalization and facilitiate it very quickly, while parents are vilified for expressing doubts and asking the pateint to slow down, do their own research and approach transition more cautiously.

As far as finding a parent support group, this board offers informal online support and we are happy to have you, though sad you have reason to join. The organization Parents of ROGD Kids can connect you with others in your area. Go to this link:  https://www.parentsofrogdkids.com/  and follow the prompts to join. Do keep in mind that this organization is run be a couple of parents who are volunteers, so please be patient when waiting to hear that your membership has been approved.

Best wishes and welcome to the board. You are not alone.

[deeply-concerned]

Good morning, I just joined this board. I'm in Massachusetts. My daughter went on hormones 2 years ago, which I deeply regretted. She was 20 and I couldn't stop her. We agreed to disagree. Now she/they wants top surgery. She's got a pcp and a therapist at college who have already written letters of support. I am desperate, and finding it hard to live with myself having let things get this far. So glad for this list. Would like to find Boston area parents for support.

Hi, mollyr. welcome to the board. Your account has been activated.

I'm so sorry about all of this. As tragic as it is and as badly as you feel about it, please don't blame yourself. Once a person is 18, they can legally undergo whatever medical transition treatments they want. Please don't feel like it's anything you've "allowed." In fact, many of us find that our kids dig their heels in harder and deeper when a parent tries to prevent their child from medicalizing, even when done in the most kind, sensitve manner. Other adults, such as the child's friends, teachers, doctors and therapists encourage medicalization and facilitiate it very quickly, while parents are vilified for expressing doubts and asking the pateint to slow down, do their own research and approach transition more cautiously.

As far as finding a parent support group, this board offers informal online support and we are happy to have you, though sad you have reason to join. The organization Parents of ROGD Kids can connect you with others in your area. Go to this link:  https://www.parentsofrogdkids.com/  and follow the prompts to join. Do keep in mind that this organization is run be a couple of parents who are volunteers, so please be patient when waiting to hear that your membership has been approved.

Best wishes and welcome to the board. You are not alone.

Thank you so much, Marge. Your message means alot to me. When you've gotten to know me a bit better, I have technology skills and would be like to help run the website. Spent 20 years in academic ed tech.

[Taka]

My little sister has announced that she's trans and right now I feel like the only real adult in the house. My parents are just kind of going along with it, and my other sister (I'm the oldest) is actually supporting her. Sometimes I wonder if there's something I should have done - my little sister was always kinda hero-worshipping me and following me round and I was okay with it. Now suddenly she's decided she's a boy. And the rest of my family thinks its normal??

[Marge Bouvier Simpson]

My little sister has announced that she's trans and right now I feel like the only real adult in the house. My parents are just kind of going along with it, and my other sister (I'm the oldest) is actually supporting her. Sometimes I wonder if there's something I should have done - my little sister was always kinda hero-worshipping me and following me round and I was okay with it. Now suddenly she's decided she's a boy. And the rest of my family thinks its normal??

Welcome to the board. Your account has been activated. I hope your parents and sister are able to see how trans has become a fad and/or a social contagion among teens, tweens and young adults. If your family members can be supportive and understanding of her identity issues without jumping into blind affirmation, this will give your sister some room to figure out what's going on. More and more young people are experimenting with a trans identity for a year or two or three, and then leaving it behind. However, realizing that they are not really trans becomes much more difficult when they are immediately affirmed, praised and socially or medically transitioned.

I hope your family members will get on board with the "watchful waiting" approach.

Welcome to the board. You are not alone.