About the Gender Critical Support Board

[Marge Bouvier Simpson]

The Gender Critical Support Board is run for parents and families by parents and families who share the experience of coping with a child, teenager or young adult who believes she or he is transgender. 

We are critical of the phenomenon of transgender youth growing at epidemic rates. 

The forum provides support for parents and families who would like a thoughtful and cautious approach to intervention for their gender dysphoric child. 

Most of the content is only visible to members of the board. This, publicly visible, forum is here to share what the board is about and provide a space for the members to have a voice.

Together, we share our stories, promote public awareness and respectful protest, and seek solutions and answers to questions. 

If you have a child who has desisted from a trans identification, your presence is especially welcome on the forum, and we hope you will join us. You can help other parents learn how to help their child resolve his or her distress without resorting to life-long medical intervention. 

There is strength in numbers. If parents find each other, we can offer each other support and know we are not alone. We can have a louder voice when speaking to schools, professionals, and policy makers. Please come find us. We look forward to seeing you there.

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These personal accounts of your children all resonate with me. My daughter is now 14. She grew up loving dresses, makeup, jewelry, princesses, and everything girly. She was always so precocious, and smart, reading everything she could get her hands on and writing stories. The daughter of a single mom when she was very young (me), my daughter was always so proud of me and was a staunch "feminist," even speaking out in class, as young as 9 and 10 years old about the importance of women's rights.

At 11 yrs old, she suddenly changed her name and pronouns at school to a male name/gender. All of her teachers and peers were calling her by her new name and pronouns. The kicker of it all is that I was never notified. No one from the school thought to call me and talk to me about this at all. And this change with my child had officially taken place in the eye of the school administration for several months and I knew nothing. She was living a double life.  I uncovered all of this when I accidentally stumbled upon it, while looking through her phone one day.

She had recently joined the LGBTQ+ group at school and had made several friends with girls who identified as male and had changed their names/pronouns, as well. I quickly found that they all encouraged each other, provided transition websites on youtube, and even bullied each other by claiming that one or the other was too "cis-gender" to "pass" or even call themselves "trans." At one point last year, our daughter brought up the idea that maybe she wanted to go back to being a girl and be called by her real name at school. When we discussed it with the therapist, trying to put together a plan of action with the school, the therapist told our daughter to sit with the idea for a few weeks and think about whether she really wanted to do that. It created enough pause within her that she decided to stick with her male name and not make any changes at all. When my husband and I questioned why she decided not to move forward with changing back, she mentioned something about her fear of being called a "trender" if she did something like that, and that she wouldn't be accepted amongst her peers. The peer pressure and societal pressure to be "authentic and certain" of who they are is too much for these kids.

This has been an awful experience with doctors, therapists, and peers. Each one rushing to affirm our child's gender before she's has a chance to explore who she is. One doctor even told my daughter in front of me that she's the "gender affirming doctor" and can provide her hormone blockers when she's ready. This is when my child was 13 years old!

Our children aren't allowed to smoke, get tattoos, fight in a war, vote, drink, consent to sexual activities, and in some cases, depending upon age, drive a vehicle. The reasons for this are clear. Life altering choices aren't a good fit for children to make. Their beautiful little brains aren't finished developing. They don't have enough years under their belts to make heavy decisions based upon experience. They are still young, figuring out who they are. They are learning and growing. It's extremely unfair to put something like this in their hands. It's quite frankly child abuse to encourage or even ask children what pronouns they prefer to go by. Every child feels strange in their bodies, as they're growing up. It's a difficult rite of passage. And some children experience body image issues/depression/anxiety, etc. These children need to be treated with kindness, love, compassion, support and the ability to grow without being categorized and being labeled. These kids are being fed a message that the challenges they experience are because they are inherently broken. And are only fixable by a solution of medications and surgeries. I am sick over it. I want desperately to protect my sweet girl and all of the kids that are struggling.  I feel lost. I feel afraid for her and all of the other vulnerable children.

Hello, songbirdy, and welcome to the forum.

I am sorry for what you and your daughter are dealing with but glad you found the forum. 

You have very eloquently put into words what so many of us are thinking, feeling and going through. In the members-only area, you'll find support from like-minded parents and advice for dealing with this awful situation. Your account has been activated, so you should have access to the members-only area now. Post back if for some reason you need help accessing it.

Welcome and best wishes.