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About the Gender Critical Support Board
(08-Apr-2021, 02:55 PM)Marge Bouvier Simpson Wrote: [quote pid='46798' dateline='1617891738']
(12-Feb-2021, 03:34 AM)Lisa_E Wrote: I have a 14 yo daughter who is witty, smart, beautiful and has always suffered from FOMO (fear of missing out). We live in Ontario Canada (near Toronto) and have been in pandemic lockdown since March 2020. Our family has gone through drastic changes since 2016 (divorce, two house moves, job loss (dad), girlfriends, job changes, and ... puberty!). Summer 2020 she comes out as bi-sexual. Fall 2020 ... she starts insisting that she cuts her hair shorter and shorter. Winter 2020/2021 she comes out as trans. This is happening all so fast. She is the kid who fights for the underdog and would be burning her bra if we were in 1960. She is (IMO) not trans but rather... lonely, wanting, needing... feeling lost and disconnected. She is acting as though she is in a cult and drinking the kool aid by the gallon. She wants desperately to be the 'cool' kid... the outrageous one... the brave one... the one that is a bit different and gets the attention she desires. But is looking for affirmation in all the wrong places. Is there any other parent in the Toronto area that has or is dealing with this? While I don't believe she is trans and I'm pretty sure she doesn't believe she is trans... she would rather save face and do something crazy (b/c she's 14) than admit she might not be. At this point I feel like we are in a game of chicken or go and it's about saving face. Has anyone else experienced this as well?  My end goal.. to keep her safe, healthy and her options OPEN!
Hi Lisa, I feel for you.  For the last few days, i've been extremely emotional because my daughter has been doing the same thing and she is only 10.5 but has already reached puberty and it seems like she spiraled downhill since the pandemic, anxiety has gone up, feelings of depression.  She says she now identifies as a boy and wants to cut her hair short.  She's so beautiful and has a beautiful female body and it hurts to my deepest being that she's going through this and our family is now dealing with this.  My wife doesn't think she can handle this and I'm not sure I can either, let alone our relatives who don't really know yet.  I didn't expect this to ever happen to any of my children and i'm now fearful for her life and how it's going to turn out.  I'm in Toronto as well and am looking at calling a psychiatrist about this so she can talk to someone.  I'm not activated yet but i'd like to connect at some point with you.  Thanks.

Hello, guest, and welcome. Your account has been activated. I'm sorry to hear about your daughter but glad you found the forum. 

Be very careful about any doctor or therapist you take your daughter to. Interview them before allowing them to see your daughter -- whether over the phone, by email or in person, and without your daughter present -- to get their views on how they would approach treatment for a girl in your daughter's situation. Most of them will immediately affirm your daughter as a boy rather than helping her look for reasons that might be causing her to wish she was not a girl. You'll have to carefully sniff out someone who won't.

And again, welcome. I hope you'll find the forum helpful.
[/quote]
I am also in a similar situation. Prior to the pandemic in 6th grade my 12 year old daughter told me about an older student in 8th grade that was "trans". She made friends with other students who saw themselves as LGB but she always said she was the "straight" one.  In May, after 2 months into lock down and school closure, she told my husband, her brother and I she was bisexual. Then in July she told me she was nonbinary and wanted to use the pronouns "they/them".  I met this was surprise and told her that I would be unable to do that.  That I loved her very much but was not comfortable with this idea.  As the fall approached she expressed the desire to get her hair cut shorter and then shorter.  She was spending a great deal time on the internet due to a hybrid school schedule, but this had been unfortunately consistent throughout the whole lockdown. It was becoming more obvious to me as to where this was going but we did not have a candid conversation.  In January she told me she wanted to be a boy.  And that she had felt like this since the summer. I had some tears and did talk with her in a caring way. But we did not make this a focus of our everyday life. I knew her friends were using a male name for her, but they all had nicknames that were male.  She had been on Prozac due to increased anxiety since December, which didn't seem to be making things better.  In late February early March she told her teachers she wanted them to call her by her male name.  We were unaware.  She also started requesting people to use he/him pronouns.  None of which we were doing in the home.   In March she expressed feelings of self harm and she was hospitalized. Our lives have all been turned upside down.  During the hospitalization we were pretty much forced to affirm her new male name and pronouns.  It was very difficult to have your child suffer such a traumatic experience and not be able to call the hospital and ask for your child by the name you have given them.  She is home now with no expressed thoughts of self harm and on a new medication.  We have been spending a great deal of time together which has been nice and we reduced her online access significantly. Her periods have always been difficult, frequent with cramps and some vomiting.  I believe this has contributed to her dislike of her body.  She is beautiful, caring, smart.  My husband and her brother want to help her navigate this in a healthy way.  I know she was not born in the wrong body.  I feel she has been brainwashed by the internet and the lack of social contact created through the pandemic was a breeding ground for her dysphoria.  I thought this before I even started reading information or other peoples post, and now realize we are not alone.  I am hopeful that she will overcome this but I am so scared for what the future holds.
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Messages In This Thread
About the Gender Critical Support Board - by admin - 12-Oct-2017, 09:30 PM
RE: About the Gender Critical Support Board - by natsblog30 - 20-Oct-2017, 12:43 AM
RE: About the Gender Critical Support Board - by Guest - 25-May-2018, 05:43 PM
RE: About the Gender Critical Support Board - by Guest - 21-Nov-2017, 01:44 AM
RE: About the Gender Critical Support Board - by Guest - 27-Jan-2019, 03:49 PM
naruto 508 raw - by arobrtosttsay6175 - 08-Jun-2020, 08:01 PM
RE: About the Gender Critical Support Board - by MelissaB - 03-Jan-2019, 02:39 AM
RE: About the Gender Critical Support Board - by Kellogmom - 17-Mar-2018, 02:32 PM
RE: About the Gender Critical Support Board - by Guest - 27-Oct-2018, 09:03 PM
RE: About the Gender Critical Support Board - by Guest - 11-Dec-2018, 01:54 AM
RE: About the Gender Critical Support Board - by MelissaXX - 03-Jan-2019, 02:33 AM
RE: About the Gender Critical Support Board - by Guest - 21-Dec-2018, 04:41 PM
RE: About the Gender Critical Support Board - by Guest - 03-Jan-2019, 05:14 PM
RE: About the Gender Critical Support Board - by kano - 03-Feb-2019, 08:26 PM
RE: About the Gender Critical Support Board - by Guest - 28-Feb-2019, 08:08 AM
RE: About the Gender Critical Support Board - by Guest - 13-May-2019, 10:52 PM
RE: About the Gender Critical Support Board - by Guest - 02-Aug-2019, 07:42 PM
RE: About the Gender Critical Support Board - by Guest - 26-Sep-2019, 12:28 AM
RE: About the Gender Critical Support Board - by Guest - 27-Oct-2019, 07:46 AM
RE: About the Gender Critical Support Board - by Guest - 01-Dec-2019, 07:29 AM
RE: About the Gender Critical Support Board - by Guest - 10-Jan-2020, 02:24 PM
RE: About the Gender Critical Support Board - by Guest - 19-Jan-2020, 08:44 PM
Looking for a Therapist - by 143mykid - 02-Mar-2020, 04:58 PM
RE: Looking for a Therapist - by Guest - 21-Mar-2020, 07:54 AM
RE: Looking for a Therapist - by Guest - 03-Sep-2020, 10:58 PM
RE: Looking for a Therapist - by another mom - 03-Sep-2020, 11:17 PM
RE: About the Gender Critical Support Board - by Guest - 08-Jun-2020, 07:59 PM
RE: About the Gender Critical Support Board - by another mom - 03-Sep-2020, 11:49 PM
What to do next? - by vegmonster - 02-Aug-2020, 09:06 PM
RE: What to do next? - by Marge Bouvier Simpson - 02-Aug-2020, 09:12 PM
RE: What to do next? - by icemanch - 19-Sep-2020, 06:20 PM
RE: About the Gender Critical Support Board - by BROWN555 - 06-Oct-2020, 03:42 PM
RE: About the Gender Critical Support Board - by StephLWK - 17-Oct-2020, 08:13 AM
RE: About the Gender Critical Support Board - by Guest - 21-Nov-2020, 03:48 PM
RE: About the Gender Critical Support Board - by Guest - 26-Nov-2020, 01:42 PM
RE: About the Gender Critical Support Board - by Guest - 29-Nov-2020, 08:08 PM
RE: About the Gender Critical Support Board - by Guest - 15-Jan-2021, 06:36 PM
RE: About the Gender Critical Support Board - by Guest - 08-Apr-2021, 02:22 PM
RE: About the Gender Critical Support Board - by Crocks - 11-Apr-2021, 04:38 PM
RE: About the Gender Critical Support Board - by Guest - 17-Apr-2021, 06:33 PM
RE: About the Gender Critical Support Board - by Guest - 17-Apr-2021, 06:56 PM
RE: In need of support...! - by Guest - 23-Nov-2020, 06:47 AM

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