06-Mar-2021, 01:46 PM
Hello,
I am happy to have found this support group. In September of last year my 12 year old daughter told me that she was transmasculine (and wanted to be called by a male name and her pronouns were now he/him or they/them). She informed me in a text message. I didn't even know where to start with it. So we had a slight conversation and after a day or 2 I showed my husband the text message (an naturally he was upset. After all this is his little girl). Him and I discussed it and decided to have a family meeting (I also have a 18 year old son). I felt as though the conversation went well on how we will try to be as supportive as possible and try to use the preferred name and he/him. We also decided at this time that we would only tell a handful of people. (I have a very large family and an 81 year old mother who is set in her ways)
I know I will love my child no matter how this turns out (and no matter how hard it is on myself and my family) but the problem is I don't know how to be sure she is truly trans. There are things that she says/does that doesn't scream boy. She is very much still into some girl style clothing (a little on the Garth side) as well as wearing earings and some make up.
So my question is how do we really know, and how to progress from the beginning stages to the next.
I can tell you that at her last dr's appt her pediatrician did diagnose her with depression which we are in the process of getting into therapy. I can also tell you my child is strong willed, and very smart (high honor roll student) but part of the issue is she is pig headed and can't seem to rationalize our points of views when we discuss this matter. I try to explain that I know I can't fully feel what she/he is going through but as a parent I need to be 100% sure this is truly what it is before we upend her/his life.
Thank You in advance for listening to my rant and any advise on where to go from here would be greatly appreciated.
I am happy to have found this support group. In September of last year my 12 year old daughter told me that she was transmasculine (and wanted to be called by a male name and her pronouns were now he/him or they/them). She informed me in a text message. I didn't even know where to start with it. So we had a slight conversation and after a day or 2 I showed my husband the text message (an naturally he was upset. After all this is his little girl). Him and I discussed it and decided to have a family meeting (I also have a 18 year old son). I felt as though the conversation went well on how we will try to be as supportive as possible and try to use the preferred name and he/him. We also decided at this time that we would only tell a handful of people. (I have a very large family and an 81 year old mother who is set in her ways)
I know I will love my child no matter how this turns out (and no matter how hard it is on myself and my family) but the problem is I don't know how to be sure she is truly trans. There are things that she says/does that doesn't scream boy. She is very much still into some girl style clothing (a little on the Garth side) as well as wearing earings and some make up.
So my question is how do we really know, and how to progress from the beginning stages to the next.
I can tell you that at her last dr's appt her pediatrician did diagnose her with depression which we are in the process of getting into therapy. I can also tell you my child is strong willed, and very smart (high honor roll student) but part of the issue is she is pig headed and can't seem to rationalize our points of views when we discuss this matter. I try to explain that I know I can't fully feel what she/he is going through but as a parent I need to be 100% sure this is truly what it is before we upend her/his life.
Thank You in advance for listening to my rant and any advise on where to go from here would be greatly appreciated.
