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About the Gender Critical Support Board
[quote pid='43495' dateline='1605973712']
I'm nearly in tears reading these stories and worried for my daughter.
She has always feminine; dresses, hair, earings etc but happy to do anything - climb trees, get muddy etc.  She is 13 years old and in a group of friends where they encourage each other to be LGBTQ - Straight, cis is just dull.
Several months ago she announced she was gender fluid, but I refused to go along and said she had to experiment a whole lot more before deciding on her gender. This morning she had a melt down as I still refuse to use gender neutral pronouns. I don't believe she's gender fluid, but don't want to ruin our relationship let alone have her going down the self-harm route because I'm not supporting her.

3 years ago she announced she was muslim and took 2 1/2 years to change her mind.  I don't want to be held to this for so long. Which route do I take - accept and go along, although it doesn't seem to make her happy, or continue to resist?
[/quote]

Hello guest,

Your story is so very familiar. You've hit the nail on the head that being "cis" or "straight" or the dreaded "cisheteronormative" is considered much too dull by many kids today. In some of these kids' minds, taking on a trans/queer identity is just the ticket to set them apart and maybe even garner them some extra attention or special treatment.

Regarding advice for handling this, you are in a tricky position, because using your daughter's requested pronouns can help cement her new identity and make it more difficult for her to desist, but refusing to use them can drive a wedge between the two of you. Because she is so young and has a history of this kind of thing, I recommend against using the pronouns. Your daughter is young enough that you can tell her she is too young for labels of any kind and that her identity will be constantly evolving for the next decade or more. She is simply too young to know what she will be like in 10 or 15 years. She should avoid labels at all costs at this point in her life.

I encourage you to register an account here and post your questions in the members-only area, as this public area of the forum doesn't get too much traffic from forum members. Other members will have more and better advice. Additionally, the members-only area has around three years' worth of threads containing information, resources and advice for your perusal.

Welcome to the forum. You are not alone.
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Messages In This Thread
About the Gender Critical Support Board - by admin - 12-Oct-2017, 09:30 PM
RE: About the Gender Critical Support Board - by natsblog30 - 20-Oct-2017, 12:43 AM
RE: About the Gender Critical Support Board - by Guest - 25-May-2018, 05:43 PM
RE: About the Gender Critical Support Board - by Guest - 21-Nov-2017, 01:44 AM
RE: About the Gender Critical Support Board - by Guest - 27-Jan-2019, 03:49 PM
naruto 508 raw - by arobrtosttsay6175 - 08-Jun-2020, 08:01 PM
RE: About the Gender Critical Support Board - by MelissaB - 03-Jan-2019, 02:39 AM
RE: About the Gender Critical Support Board - by Kellogmom - 17-Mar-2018, 02:32 PM
RE: About the Gender Critical Support Board - by Guest - 27-Oct-2018, 09:03 PM
RE: About the Gender Critical Support Board - by Guest - 11-Dec-2018, 01:54 AM
RE: About the Gender Critical Support Board - by MelissaXX - 03-Jan-2019, 02:33 AM
RE: About the Gender Critical Support Board - by Guest - 21-Dec-2018, 04:41 PM
RE: About the Gender Critical Support Board - by Guest - 03-Jan-2019, 05:14 PM
RE: About the Gender Critical Support Board - by kano - 03-Feb-2019, 08:26 PM
RE: About the Gender Critical Support Board - by Guest - 28-Feb-2019, 08:08 AM
RE: About the Gender Critical Support Board - by Guest - 13-May-2019, 10:52 PM
RE: About the Gender Critical Support Board - by Guest - 02-Aug-2019, 07:42 PM
RE: About the Gender Critical Support Board - by Guest - 26-Sep-2019, 12:28 AM
RE: About the Gender Critical Support Board - by Guest - 27-Oct-2019, 07:46 AM
RE: About the Gender Critical Support Board - by Guest - 01-Dec-2019, 07:29 AM
RE: About the Gender Critical Support Board - by Guest - 10-Jan-2020, 02:24 PM
RE: About the Gender Critical Support Board - by Guest - 19-Jan-2020, 08:44 PM
Looking for a Therapist - by 143mykid - 02-Mar-2020, 04:58 PM
RE: Looking for a Therapist - by Guest - 21-Mar-2020, 07:54 AM
RE: Looking for a Therapist - by Guest - 03-Sep-2020, 10:58 PM
RE: Looking for a Therapist - by another mom - 03-Sep-2020, 11:17 PM
RE: About the Gender Critical Support Board - by Guest - 08-Jun-2020, 07:59 PM
RE: About the Gender Critical Support Board - by another mom - 03-Sep-2020, 11:49 PM
What to do next? - by vegmonster - 02-Aug-2020, 09:06 PM
RE: What to do next? - by Marge Bouvier Simpson - 02-Aug-2020, 09:12 PM
RE: What to do next? - by icemanch - 19-Sep-2020, 06:20 PM
RE: About the Gender Critical Support Board - by BROWN555 - 06-Oct-2020, 03:42 PM
RE: About the Gender Critical Support Board - by StephLWK - 17-Oct-2020, 08:13 AM
RE: About the Gender Critical Support Board - by Guest - 21-Nov-2020, 03:48 PM
RE: About the Gender Critical Support Board - by Marge Bouvier Simpson - 24-Nov-2020, 03:14 PM
RE: About the Gender Critical Support Board - by Guest - 26-Nov-2020, 01:42 PM
RE: About the Gender Critical Support Board - by Guest - 29-Nov-2020, 08:08 PM
RE: About the Gender Critical Support Board - by Guest - 15-Jan-2021, 06:36 PM
RE: About the Gender Critical Support Board - by Guest - 08-Apr-2021, 02:22 PM
RE: About the Gender Critical Support Board - by Guest - 17-Apr-2021, 06:33 PM
RE: About the Gender Critical Support Board - by Guest - 17-Apr-2021, 06:56 PM
RE: About the Gender Critical Support Board - by Retrieving Username - 06-May-2021, 09:59 PM
RE: About the Gender Critical Support Board - by Guest - 17-May-2021, 04:00 AM
RE: About the Gender Critical Support Board - by Guest - 16-Jun-2021, 06:17 AM
RE: About the Gender Critical Support Board - by Rosethorns - 08-Aug-2021, 12:34 AM
RE: About the Gender Critical Support Board - by Guest - 09-Sep-2021, 01:39 PM
RE: About the Gender Critical Support Board - by Guest - 27-Sep-2021, 06:20 PM
RE: About the Gender Critical Support Board - by Guest - 03-Dec-2021, 12:37 AM
RE: In need of support...! - by Guest - 23-Nov-2020, 06:47 AM

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