03-Sep-2020, 11:49 PM
(15-Jul-2020, 03:27 PM)Marge Bouvier Simpson Wrote:(15-Jul-2020, 08:02 AM)KJmama Wrote: I'm so alone. Friends buy into the new gender ideology, and family is at the other extreme (bad attitudes on homosexuality, gender nonconforming, etc). Even my ex went from acting as a team w/me, to saying our daughter will only pull away more if we "push it." He's "affirming" her, and I'm scared it's a matter of time before she goes to live with him. He has no rules, doesn't moniter electronics, and now says he's "open" to transition....it would be such a nightmare.
I'm even more upset because my daughter just turned 17, so there's not much time before she has medical autonomy. I still hope she'll lose interest or come to her senses before then....I mean, this whole nightmare only started in Aug 2019. But I fear a horrible collision between the timeing of this ROGD phase, and the timeline of my daughter being "old enough" to get hormones/surgery. (Old enough in quotes, because I can't believe 18 yr olds get to make such life altering decisions.)
This whole situation is tearing me up inside.
Dear KJmama,
I wanted to write because I know how scary it is to think your child can make their own medical decisions about this in only one short year, and because I am so very sorry that you are having to go through this nightmare. my daughter determined that she was trans at 16. She involved CPS who, before I was eventually cleared and the records destroyed, substantiated abuse solely because the worker believed it was "emotional abuse" not to affirm her male gender. I was then prevented from getting her the mental health care she so desperately needed. She was cutting, attempted suicide multiple times, ran away, and was living in a group home when she turned 18. I was terrified, as I knew she was getting substandard mental health care and was surrounded by "affirming" adults. But, although she then had the power to make her own medical decisions, oddly, she did not get medical help to transition. Instead, she eventually returned home and asked me to find her a therapist. With the help of the gifted and wonderful person, my daughter at age 19 and a half is in college and no longer identifies as male. We have a very long way to go, but she is growing and healing. I wanted to let you know that while time is terrifyingly short when you are facing this situation, there is still the possibility that your daughter will grow enough in the next year to protect herself, and get the help she needs to figure out who she is, free of the affirming bias. In the meantime, know my thoughts are with you, and with her. Keep breathing, and loving her. I wish I could make this easier for you both, but since I can't, know you are not alone, and you are not wrong. Trust yourself.