About the Gender Critical Support Board

[Marge Bouvier Simpson]

Hi Bonnie151, your account has been activated. Thanks for your patience. You now have access to the members-only forums.

As for the information you've given about your daughter, I am sure it sounds very, very similar to many of us. Each case is unique yet there are components to this which are seen over and over and again in our kids: having a tough time with puberty, autism/Asperger's, cutting or eating disorders, looking for a group to fit in with, starting out "lite" (pan or bi) which escalates to identifying as the opposite sex. These are a few I see in your story. Now that your membership has been activated, let me know if you'd like me to move your post to the members-only forums where it cannot be seen by public readers; also you will be more likely to receive responses to your questions if your post is in the members-only area.

Welcome and thanks for joining.

[Bonnie151]

Thank you Marge. I’m happy for my above post to stay here. We’ve got so much going on just now with all this, but once I have time to catch my breath I’ll do another post on the main boards.

[Guest]

It's 3:35am and I've just found this forum after searching for what seems like an eternity. Our story sounds like so many others here. Honestly, it's a relief to finally find some other parents to talk to. Everywhere we've turned to, counselors, school, pediatrician, etc, they've all just affirmed our daughter's decision meanwhile treating us like we're not good parents if we don't go along with this. Our 15 year old daughter who a year and a half ago spent days looking for the perfect dress for her brothers graduation and wearing two piece swimsuits at the beach told us June 30th that she's trans. In less than a year she went from happy girly girl to being trapped in a girls body. I could and will share much more eventually but for now in just grateful to have found this forum and a glimmer of hope.

[Marge Bouvier Simpson]

Hello guest, welcome.

I'm so sorry to hear about what your daughter and your family are going through. Your story does sound very similar to many others. Kids come up with a shocking, completely out-of-character declaration and everyone who doesn't really know the kid insists it is 100% true, but the parents who know their child, know it is out of character and suspect the trans declaration is some kind of cry for help or indicative of some other problem are shamed, vilified and called phobic. It's completely nuts, IMHO. It's quite outrageous and would almost be amusing if risky medicalization and permanent body modifications weren't the end result.

If you haven't already, I encourage you to sign up as a member of the forum. Once your membership is activated, you'll have access to the members-only area, where you'll be able to communicate with like-minded parents who are going through situations similar to yours, and discuss issues more in-depth and in an atmosphere that's not so public as this portion of the forum.

[jennyfair24]

Hello guest, welcome.

I'm so sorry to hear about what your daughter and your family are going through. Your story does sound very similar to many others. Kids come up with a shocking, completely out-of-character declaration and everyone who doesn't really know the kid insists it is 100% true, but the parents who know their child, know it is out of character and suspect the trans declaration is some kind of cry for help or indicative of some other problem are shamed, vilified and called phobic. It's completely nuts, IMHO. It's quite outrageous and would almost be amusing if risky medicalization and permanent body modifications weren't the end result.

If you haven't already, I encourage you to sign up as a member of the forum. Once your membership is activated, you'll have access to the members-only area, where you'll be able to communicate with like-minded parents who are going through situations similar to yours, and discuss issues more in-depth and in an atmosphere that's not so public as this portion of the forum.

Thank you. I have registered, just waiting for it to be activated. I look forward to finding resources and other parents to talk to.

[jennyfair24]

Hello guest, welcome.

I'm so sorry to hear about what your daughter and your family are going through. Your story does sound very similar to many others. Kids come up with a shocking, completely out-of-character declaration and everyone who doesn't really know the kid insists it is 100% true, but the parents who know their child, know it is out of character and suspect the trans declaration is some kind of cry for help or indicative of some other problem are shamed, vilified and called phobic. It's completely nuts, IMHO. It's quite outrageous and would almost be amusing if risky medicalization and permanent body modifications weren't the end result.

If you haven't already, I encourage you to sign up as a member of the forum. Once your membership is activated, you'll have access to the members-only area, where you'll be able to communicate with like-minded parents who are going through situations similar to yours, and discuss issues more in-depth and in an atmosphere that's not so public as this portion of the forum.

My husband had now also registered and it waiting for approval

[Marge Bouvier Simpson]

Hi Jennyfair24, I believe both accounts have now been activated. Let me know if cannot access the members-only forums and we will see what we can do to get you in.

[gm48]

The Gender Critical Support Board is run for parents and families by parents and families who share the experience of coping with a child, teenager or young adult who believes she or he is transgender. 

We are critical of the phenomenon of transgender youth growing at epidemic rates. 

The forum provides support for parents and families who would like a thoughtful and cautious approach to intervention for their gender dysphoric child. 

Most of the content is only visible to members of the board. This, publicly visible, forum is here to share what the board is about and provide a space for the members to have a voice.

Together, we share our stories, promote public awareness and respectful protest, and seek solutions and answers to questions. 

If you have a child who has desisted from a trans identification, your presence is especially welcome on the forum, and we hope you will join us. You can help other parents learn how to help their child resolve his or her distress without resorting to life-long medical intervention. 

There is strength in numbers. If parents find each other, we can offer each other support and know we are not alone. We can have a louder voice when speaking to schools, professionals, and policy makers. Please come find us. We look forward to seeing you there.

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Hello,
       I am new to this forum. I am so excited to find this site. My daughter is 19 and has decided to be a boy. She came out as a lesbian when she was in 7th grade. She stopped shaving her legs about a year ago. My husband and I do not have a clue how to handle this. She tried to commit suicide in September. We have since have avoided saying her name and try to to use any pronouns. She claims to have dysphoria moments. she is very non-social. Has no friends and goes no where. She stays on her phone all the time.  We refuse to buy her a binder but have bought some male clothing. I feel so alone in this. She is in college and not doing as well as she could be but she is passing. Any thoughts would be welcome.

[Marge Bouvier Simpson]

Hello gm48, welcome to the forum.

I'm sorry to hear about your daughter's troubles. Your account has been activated, if you would like to continue this discussion in the members-only area.

[ParentfromCali]

Hello @dangerfox,

Thank you for your post. I am too the parent of a daughter whom out of the blue came out as "trans". She is a senior this year in HS and will be graduating in the summer of 2020. I am curious to know what outcome did you have with her school and name in her diploma? 
I am afraid that my daughter will be requesting this to her school counselor.  I am in the process of scheduling a meeting with the school principal to talk about this. 
I hope you are doing well. 


I’m very glad I found this place.

My daughter first brought up wanting to be male the first day of summer after 7th grade…so…2015. She had never expressed anything like this in her short 12 years. In fact, she hadn’t really said much about anything ever; and out of the blue, she sends her father and me a text saying that she’s felt this way for a “long time” and she didn’t want us to talk to her about it. Uhhh…Nope. Not gonna happen.

So, I countered with “it is unfair to drop this on us when you haven’t spoken to us about ANYTHING for 2 years.” So we took a step back and she started therapy.

Tonight I brought it up again because things kinda got back to a “normal” life and I was scared of the answer…well, she says she identifies as male, her friends call her by her preferred name, but she doesn’t want to do surgery or testosterone while she’s in high school. She does want to change her name before graduation.

This isn’t about me, of course. If she’s really transgender, then fine. I love my kid no matter what.

But I don’t think she’s trans and I can’t figure a way to broach my skepticism with her.

I told her tonight, “I just want you to do well in school so you can get out of this state…and I want you to be happy. That’s it.”

We’ve got a lot of work to do on this journey…and I’m trying to get passed my hurt feelings.

Anyway…I need a community that won’t vilify me for my position with my child.

Thanks for reading.