(20-Oct-2017, 12:43 AM)natsblog30 Wrote: This is so valuable when there are so few resources for parents grappling with these issues, so much that is written in the media and online takes such a completely non-critical look at these issues and we need more thorough questioning of the principles behind this great rush towards transgenderism. My daughter is nearly 16 and for the last 2 years has gone from being a happy girl to being so depressed and consumed with adopting a male identity, after being strongly influenced by school friends and stuff she watched on the internet. She is convinced she hates her girl body and is really a boy however she has never been so unhappy and confused and I watch on with huge anxiety hoping she will reconcile with who she really is and get back to being her happy self again. I know how I felt myself, growing up and feeling uncomfortable with my adolescent body and shy and awkward. She is very sensitive and has been very much the same as I was approaching puberty, but the difference now is that young girls can ask google "why do I hate my breasts and my girl body?" and the answer comes back very swiftly and surely "because you have gender dysphoria and you will never be happy being a girl! you are really a boy in a girls body! Embrace the real you! Tell your parents to call you male pronouns and if they refuse tell them you are at risk of suicide if they don't support you!!!". Girls aren't getting the chance to slowly grow into their new bodies and gradually find their identity as a young woman who can doing anything a boy can do! My daughter has always been very feminine and confident but now she is so anxious living under a cloud of uncertainty about her future. She is binding her breasts and wearing boys clothes and doesn't want to go out anymore, she just wants to be on the internet and assume her male identity online. My beautiful girl has been brainwashed and I am gently trying to entice her off the internet and shower her with love and patience so she keeps trusting in my instincts and gives herself a chance at being a girl.
It makes me so sad to see the trend amongst young women to join the transgender cult and its definitely a huge blow for feminism. The medical world is being swept along before proper research has been done to determine the far reaching consequences of the hormone treatments on physical and mental health. Mutilating surgeryies are being done and its some sort of crazy social experiment that only us in the 1st world areas can afford to indulge in.
Hello All,
It's crazy reading all these entries because I agree with you all and I'm a 46 year FTM (Female to Male) that has been through all the hormones and all the surgeries. It seems like in the last three years; this has become a wild wild west in the mental and medical arena. Transitioning is no joke, and I mean no JOKE, it's hard, and it's butchers your body.
If I can give any advice to parents with kids that say, "I'm transgender," listen and comfort. I guarantee if you push against it, they will figure out how to get hormones, start demanding the different pronouns and make decisions that will have lasting effects for their lives.
My sister recently went through a phase with my niece. My niece starting dressing in black, listening to hardcore music and wearing the dark black makeup and my sister didn't know what to do. She first started nagging and telling her that she couldn't listen to the music or wear the makeup, but she soon discovered her daughter was doing precisely what she told her not to do. My sister was at her whits end, here was this athletic young woman that was getting good grades and doing so well to a Goth, depressed child.
One afternoon I got a call from my sister, and she told me that she decided since she couldn't get her daughter to listen to her, she would join in. That day when her daughter was at school, she dyed her hair jet black, did her makeup goth, did her makeup with dark black eyeliner, went to the beauty shop got all black nail polish, tore holes in her jeans and shirts, I mean she invested, really invested. She told me that since she couldn't convince her daughter how stupid she looked, she was going to show her how stupid it looked. That afternoon she went and picked up her daughter, as usual, drove the carpool home, took her to soccer practice and jumped into the role telling her daughter how right she was that "Goth" was cool. Her daughter begged her to stop and that my sister was embarrassing her, and it opened a dialog that helped my niece realize how foolish she was being. Being a teenager is about rebelling and finding yourself, and this transgender boom is nothing to sneeze at, this is life-changing and forever with hormone therapy.
It didn't take long for her daughter to see how silly she was being, and they laugh about it to this day. My niece is now 24, and it's a great family story.
Now, I realize this is not the same thing, and some of you guys do have transgender kids and transitioning would be the best for them. But, some of you, well, maybe most of you have kids that are confused. Some might be gay or lesbian and don't understand where they fit in. Some might have feminine or masculine tendencies and be straight but feel the pressure of this god awful society that likes to put men and woman in these super stringent categories of what qualifies them as men and women. Some are confused, some maybe have little crushed on the same-sex kids and be confused as to what to do with the feelings and what those feelings do to them as individuals.
Did you know that most people, men, and women have same-sex experiences in their youth? Hell, I am not attracted to men at all, but if Brad Pitt came on to me I might go down that road, he's a stud...Does that make me a gay man? No it makes me human, and these boxes that we try to put people in are dangerous. That is what is going on with probably a lot of your kids. Explain that their feelings are not unique, and if they give it time without radical change, they will figure out where they belong and who they are...BUT, for now, where they are at that or at this moment is a KID, they are a kids and it doesn't matter if you are gay, straight, transgender, fluid, blue, yellow or enjoy scuba diving they are first and foremost a kid. They don't know who the hell they are; no one does as a child.
Human beings don't have fully developed brains until they are 25 until then they can't see around corners. Give them an analogy of a toddler being left alone around a swimming pool. Chances are they will go in the water and drown; they don't know that they will drown they just see this refreshing pool that looks like fun. Now, compare a toddler to a 14-year old that has not learned how to swim, would the 14-year-old jump in a 20-foot pool? No! Why? Because they know they will drown. Explain that to them without judgment and then lovingly explain to them the consequences of transitioning. Transitioning is brutal and permanent and not something that anyone under 18 should be allowed to decide on in my opinion.
You have to protect your kids from this WILD WILD WEST in transitioning right now; you have to. Love them, listen to them, align with them, explore with them, let them express what they are feeling. Let them dress how they want, call them whatever pronoun that floats there boat at the time, but DON'T let them butcher their bodies or change their chemistry unless and until they understand the consequences and children cannot do that..CHILDREN cannot decide that..PERIOD! I have three kids, and that is what I would say to my children as a transgender person.
(31-Dec-2017, 04:17 AM)DangerFox Wrote: I’m very glad I found this place.
My daughter first brought up wanting to be male the first day of summer after 7th grade…so…2015. She had never expressed anything like this in her short 12 years. In fact, she hadn’t really said much about anything ever; and out of the blue, she sends her father and me a text saying that she’s felt this way for a “long time” and she didn’t want us to talk to her about it. Uhhh…Nope. Not gonna happen.
So, I countered with “it is unfair to drop this on us when you haven’t spoken to us about ANYTHING for 2 years.” So we took a step back and she started therapy.
Tonight I brought it up again because things kinda got back to a “normal” life and I was scared of the answer…well, she says she identifies as male, her friends call her by her preferred name, but she doesn’t want to do surgery or testosterone while she’s in high school. She does want to change her name before graduation.
This isn’t about me, of course. If she’s really transgender, then fine. I love my kid no matter what.
But I don’t think she’s trans and I can’t figure a way to broach my skepticism with her.
I told her tonight, “I just want you to do well in school so you can get out of this state…and I want you to be happy. That’s it.”
We’ve got a lot of work to do on this journey…and I’m trying to get passed my hurt feelings.
Anyway…I need a community that won’t vilify me for my position with my child.
Thanks for reading.
Why are your feelings hurt? What do you need to get over? This is about your child and helping her understand something that our society has made quite confusing. This is what I asked myself when I was reading this.
