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About the Gender Critical Support Board
#66
Hi, Marge... I, too, am waiting for activation. I have a nearly 15-year-old daughter who has always been a bit socially awkward (and highly intelligent, now attends a 'magnet' high school for science & technology). She was 'dropped' by her best friend before middle school and struggled to find any close friends. The group she found were apparently almost all lesbians and she told us she was a lesbian late in 7th grade. In March of last year she was caught by her friends "cutting." We immediately found a therapist, and the cutting stopped but she would never explain to us why she had done it. She was very closed off and told us that she would figure this out with her therapist, not with us. We have met with the therapist on and off to ask for answers but our daughter seemingly didn't really have any, though the therapist felt they were having good moments of vulnerability that would help make progress. Since the "cutting" had stopped, we felt the progress was clear, in any event.

We had hoped that since most of her friend group was not heading to high school with her that she would find some space to safely figure out who she was without being unduly influenced by a very monoculture friend group. But since the beginning of the school year she's been regularly attending Gay/Straight Alliance meetings. Around the holiday season she started dressing pretty exclusively in jeans and T-shirts, though she has clearly "code switched" at times (for babysitting jobs, for a job interview). The girl who begged to have her ears pierced and said over winter break that she would "always be an earrings whore" no matter how she dressed told us over that winter break she was thinking she was "gender non-binary." We didn't ask a lot of questions and just told her we loved her and that being a teen was complicated, that she should take her time. Last night she seemingly couldn't NOT tell us that she is... a boy. She had dressed in a feminine skirt and top at school for the first time in months, apparently as an April Fool's joke (though when she was leaving the house she told me that it was a 'spirit day' for her tennis team).

I feel in a total panic and need to find a therapist who will help this girl deal honestly with her underlying issues and not just jump to the conclusion (as our daughter has) that all her issues are due to the fact that she is a boy. Before high school she was dressing entirely as a girl -- experimenting with eyeliner a bit, very happy with 2 years of earrings -- and there were no signs of any of this before, I'd say, 4-6 months ago. Her dad and I are pretty convinced this is Rapid Onset Gender Dysphoria -- though we are open to the possibility this is wrong. But we HAVE to find a therapist who can challenge her thinking, not just assume that she is trans because she says she is. This girl is 14 years old, not fully formed, but (of course, like all teens) thinks she knows it all, and is really in a fixed mindset.

Glad this resource is out there... very anxious to get on the private boards to see if anyone can recommend a solid therapist near us.
15-year-old daughter • Said she was transgender on April 1, 2019
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Messages In This Thread
About the Gender Critical Support Board - by admin - 12-Oct-2017, 09:30 PM
RE: About the Gender Critical Support Board - by natsblog30 - 20-Oct-2017, 12:43 AM
RE: About the Gender Critical Support Board - by Guest - 25-May-2018, 05:43 PM
RE: About the Gender Critical Support Board - by Guest - 21-Nov-2017, 01:44 AM
RE: About the Gender Critical Support Board - by Guest - 27-Jan-2019, 03:49 PM
RE: About the Gender Critical Support Board - by MelissaB - 03-Jan-2019, 02:39 AM
RE: About the Gender Critical Support Board - by Kellogmom - 17-Mar-2018, 02:32 PM
RE: About the Gender Critical Support Board - by Guest - 27-Oct-2018, 09:03 PM
RE: About the Gender Critical Support Board - by Guest - 11-Dec-2018, 01:54 AM
RE: About the Gender Critical Support Board - by MelissaXX - 03-Jan-2019, 02:33 AM
RE: About the Gender Critical Support Board - by Guest - 21-Dec-2018, 04:41 PM
RE: About the Gender Critical Support Board - by Guest - 03-Jan-2019, 05:14 PM
RE: About the Gender Critical Support Board - by kano - 03-Feb-2019, 08:26 PM
RE: About the Gender Critical Support Board - by Guest - 28-Feb-2019, 08:08 AM
RE: About the Gender Critical Support Board - by confusedmom83 - 02-Apr-2019, 02:05 PM
RE: About the Gender Critical Support Board - by Guest - 13-May-2019, 10:52 PM
RE: About the Gender Critical Support Board - by Guest - 02-Aug-2019, 07:42 PM
RE: About the Gender Critical Support Board - by Guest - 26-Sep-2019, 12:28 AM

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