16-Jan-2019, 08:13 PM
(16-Jan-2019, 01:32 PM)GabbySonbis Wrote: Wow! I am so happy to have found this group. I am about 2 years into regret over how I handled the situation with my daughter.
I am not sure how to proceed now.
My 16 year old came my husband at 14 stating that she is transgender.
We found out that the school had already adopted a male name and he/him pronouns (without consulting us)
At that time I felt that it would be too damaging to stop them in the event this turned out to be true.
I really struggled with trying to find a balance. I wanted to be supportive but I also thought it was likely a phase that would pass.
She always had trouble connecting with other students. When middle school started she found someone she could connect with. She started to dress like her friend and listen to the same music as her friend. This friend made an announcement that they are transgender and suddenly my daughter seemed to follow suit.
I did agree to let her cut her hair and did not mind if she chose masculine clothing. I did turn down requests for binders and hormone therapy. I did say that we (husband, brother and extended family ) would not use he/him or the chosen male name.
But the school and friends continue to do so and I feel like she has just settled into this and is not allowing any exploration of who she really is. I am really just hoping someting clicks soon.
Are you registered on this forum? You should move this to the member forum - you will have more interaction and response.
Welcome and I will say, don't beat yourself up about how you handled things in the past. We all have our share of regret with this whole thing - the difference is how you move forward with it.
Think of it as a persona - they are trying things on, but with reinforced "support" via outside forces. You don't have to fall for it - you just do what you KNOW is right. You have a child who was born as a girl - she is a girl. She will figure it out - it took my daughter 5 years!
Hang in there - you are not alone!
