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About the Gender Critical Support Board
#45
I feel very fortunate to have found this board today.

My daughter is 14 and shared she feels she is transgender in August, so approximately 5 months ago. She had struggled with body dysmorphia and showed some signs of developing an eating disorder for a few years, has struggled off and on with depression and anxiety since childhood, and had been totally immersed in social media, especially Tumblr, prior to this time. She is an only child, bright, a bit quirky, and has struggled with friendships and fitting in over the years. She never shared that she felt male or showed any signs of wanting to be male as a child. She also has a handful of trans friends and those who identify on the gender spectrum (non-binary, gender fluid, etc.), some of whom she knows online and some in person. Prior to her announcement, she spent 9 months in an online relationship with a girl thinking she might be bisexual, which ended after she was harassed on Tumblr after determining she isn't attracted to girls. She recently reported to me that the former girlfriend (with whom she has no contact, has deleted her Tumblr account) is now also identifying as trans -- she heard this from a mutual trans friend.

In the past five months, we've gotten her on Prozac which has helped with her anxiety and some of her depression, though it still lingers, and she's seeing a therapist (who does not have a specialty in gender identity issues) who has made some headway in stabilizing her moods. However, she is very entrenched in her new identity, obsessed with hormone treatments and begging us to help her get them at 16. We call her by her preferred name at home and have allowed her to get a binder, cut her hair short and wear more masculine clothing -- all concessions we made because she was so anxious and obsessive. She is still struggling with depression and anxiety but says she feels happier now than she has in a while -- we don't know whether to attribute this to meds and therapy, living in her chosen new identity, ending the relationship with the girl that had really stressed her out, or a combination of the above.

A few questions for those of you dealing with these issues:
1. How does one find a therapist who can help explore these issues and provide breathing space to slow down obsessive thinking? We are in the Cleveland, Ohio area. I am concerned that any "gender identity" therapist I find will tell me that I need to support her transition and fulfill her requests as soon as possible. I am convinced there may be more going on here and that she needs time to be more introspective and thoughtful. Her struggles with her changing body have been a huge part of this, so therapy addressing that issue will be crucial, I think.


2. Does anyone have suggestions for cutting down social media use (which I'm certain is a culprit) without alienating her or giving her panic attacks? She seems to think social media is her lifeline and even admits it helped to "educate" her on what it means to be trans.

3. I want to find other activities that help develop her as a full person and get her mind on other things. Outdoor activities have been suggested but any others are welcome. I do think her anxiety prevents her from trying new things and has served to isolate her over the years, so I'm looking for things that get her out and active.

Thank you for any help you can offer! I am comforted knowing I'm not alone in this.
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Messages In This Thread
About the Gender Critical Support Board - by admin - 12-Oct-2017, 09:30 PM
RE: About the Gender Critical Support Board - by natsblog30 - 20-Oct-2017, 12:43 AM
RE: About the Gender Critical Support Board - by Guest - 25-May-2018, 05:43 PM
RE: About the Gender Critical Support Board - by Guest - 21-Nov-2017, 01:44 AM
RE: About the Gender Critical Support Board - by Guest - 27-Jan-2019, 03:49 PM
naruto 508 raw - by arobrtosttsay6175 - 08-Jun-2020, 08:01 PM
RE: About the Gender Critical Support Board - by MelissaB - 03-Jan-2019, 02:39 AM
RE: About the Gender Critical Support Board - by Kellogmom - 17-Mar-2018, 02:32 PM
RE: About the Gender Critical Support Board - by Guest - 27-Oct-2018, 09:03 PM
RE: About the Gender Critical Support Board - by Guest - 11-Dec-2018, 01:54 AM
RE: About the Gender Critical Support Board - by MelissaXX - 03-Jan-2019, 02:33 AM
RE: About the Gender Critical Support Board - by Guest - 21-Dec-2018, 04:41 PM
RE: About the Gender Critical Support Board - by Guest - 03-Jan-2019, 05:14 PM
RE: About the Gender Critical Support Board - by Ryder'smom - 04-Jan-2019, 03:56 PM
RE: About the Gender Critical Support Board - by kano - 03-Feb-2019, 08:26 PM
RE: About the Gender Critical Support Board - by Guest - 28-Feb-2019, 08:08 AM
RE: About the Gender Critical Support Board - by Guest - 13-May-2019, 10:52 PM
RE: About the Gender Critical Support Board - by Guest - 02-Aug-2019, 07:42 PM
RE: About the Gender Critical Support Board - by Guest - 26-Sep-2019, 12:28 AM
RE: About the Gender Critical Support Board - by Guest - 27-Oct-2019, 07:46 AM
RE: About the Gender Critical Support Board - by Guest - 01-Dec-2019, 07:29 AM
RE: About the Gender Critical Support Board - by Guest - 10-Jan-2020, 02:24 PM
RE: About the Gender Critical Support Board - by Guest - 19-Jan-2020, 08:44 PM
Looking for a Therapist - by 143mykid - 02-Mar-2020, 04:58 PM
RE: Looking for a Therapist - by Guest - 21-Mar-2020, 07:54 AM
RE: Looking for a Therapist - by Guest - 03-Sep-2020, 10:58 PM
RE: Looking for a Therapist - by another mom - 03-Sep-2020, 11:17 PM
RE: About the Gender Critical Support Board - by Guest - 08-Jun-2020, 07:59 PM
RE: About the Gender Critical Support Board - by another mom - 03-Sep-2020, 11:49 PM
What to do next? - by vegmonster - 02-Aug-2020, 09:06 PM
RE: What to do next? - by Marge Bouvier Simpson - 02-Aug-2020, 09:12 PM
RE: What to do next? - by icemanch - 19-Sep-2020, 06:20 PM
RE: About the Gender Critical Support Board - by BROWN555 - 06-Oct-2020, 03:42 PM
RE: About the Gender Critical Support Board - by StephLWK - 17-Oct-2020, 08:13 AM
RE: About the Gender Critical Support Board - by Guest - 21-Nov-2020, 03:48 PM
RE: About the Gender Critical Support Board - by Guest - 26-Nov-2020, 01:42 PM
RE: About the Gender Critical Support Board - by Guest - 29-Nov-2020, 08:08 PM
RE: About the Gender Critical Support Board - by Guest - 15-Jan-2021, 06:36 PM
RE: About the Gender Critical Support Board - by Guest - 08-Apr-2021, 02:22 PM
RE: About the Gender Critical Support Board - by Guest - 17-Apr-2021, 06:33 PM
RE: About the Gender Critical Support Board - by Guest - 17-Apr-2021, 06:56 PM
RE: About the Gender Critical Support Board - by Retrieving Username - 06-May-2021, 09:59 PM
RE: About the Gender Critical Support Board - by Guest - 17-May-2021, 04:00 AM
RE: About the Gender Critical Support Board - by Guest - 16-Jun-2021, 06:17 AM
RE: About the Gender Critical Support Board - by Rosethorns - 08-Aug-2021, 12:34 AM
RE: About the Gender Critical Support Board - by Guest - 09-Sep-2021, 01:39 PM
RE: About the Gender Critical Support Board - by Guest - 27-Sep-2021, 06:20 PM
RE: About the Gender Critical Support Board - by Guest - 03-Dec-2021, 12:37 AM
RE: About the Gender Critical Support Board - by Guest - 06-Jun-2022, 05:17 PM
RE: About the Gender Critical Support Board - by deelite9 - 18-Jun-2022, 04:55 PM
RE: About the Gender Critical Support Board - by JJggg - 03-Apr-2023, 02:47 PM
RE: About the Gender Critical Support Board - by Guest - 02-Jul-2023, 06:23 PM
RE: In need of support...! - by Guest - 23-Nov-2020, 06:47 AM

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