About the Gender Critical Support Board

[MelissaB]

I’m very glad I found this place.

My daughter first brought up wanting to be male the first day of summer after 7th grade…so…2015. She had never expressed anything like this in her short 12 years. In fact, she hadn’t really said much about anything ever; and out of the blue, she sends her father and me a text saying that she’s felt this way for a “long time” and she didn’t want us to talk to her about it. Uhhh…Nope. Not gonna happen.

So, I countered with “it is unfair to drop this on us when you haven’t spoken to us about ANYTHING for 2 years.” So we took a step back and she started therapy.

Tonight I brought it up again because things kinda got back to a “normal” life and I was scared of the answer…well, she says she identifies as male, her friends call her by her preferred name, but she doesn’t want to do surgery or testosterone while she’s in high school. She does want to change her name before graduation.

This isn’t about me, of course. If she’s really transgender, then fine. I love my kid no matter what.

But I don’t think she’s trans and I can’t figure a way to broach my skepticism with her.

I told her tonight, “I just want you to do well in school so you can get out of this state…and I want you to be happy. That’s it.”

We’ve got a lot of work to do on this journey…and I’m trying to get passed my hurt feelings.

Anyway…I need a community that won’t vilify me for my position with my child.

Thanks for reading.

Dangerfox 
I am going through the same struggle.  When my daughter was in 7th she told us she was trans.  This is a year after telling us she was queer/gay.  Her friends have been calling her by her chosen name.  We still call her by the name we gave her.  But that is changing soon.  We asked her to wait 6 months before making an official change.  Its been 6 months so I am just waiting until she brings it up again. And she will. 

She also struggles with anxiety and depression. (Note: she was a girly, outgoing, very social and well liked her whole life.) I have no idea where all of her issues are from. It is heartbreaking.  I just want her to be happy.

This has been a horrific year! You are not alone