About the Gender Critical Support Board

[tripleblessedrrr]

This is so valuable when there are so few resources for parents grappling with these issues, so much that is written in the media and online takes such a completely non-critical look at these issues and we need more thorough questioning of the principles behind this great rush towards transgenderism.  My daughter is nearly 16 and for the last 2 years has gone from being a happy girl to being so depressed and consumed with adopting a male identity, after being strongly influenced by school friends and stuff she watched on the internet.  She is convinced she hates her girl body and is really a boy however she has never been so unhappy and confused and I watch on with huge anxiety hoping she will reconcile with who she really is and get back to being her happy self again.  I know how I felt myself, growing up and feeling uncomfortable with my adolescent body and shy and awkward. She is very sensitive and has been very much the same as I was approaching puberty, but the difference now is that young girls can ask google "why do I hate my breasts and my girl body?"  and the answer comes back very swiftly and surely  "because you have gender dysphoria and you will never be happy being a girl! you are really a boy in a girls body!  Embrace the real you!  Tell your parents to call you male pronouns and if they refuse tell them you are at risk of suicide if they don't support you!!!".  Girls aren't getting the chance to slowly grow into their new bodies and gradually find their identity as a young woman who can doing anything a boy can do!  My daughter has always been very feminine and confident but now she is so anxious living under a cloud of uncertainty about her future.  She is binding her breasts and wearing boys clothes and doesn't want to go out anymore, she just wants to be on the internet and assume her male identity online.  My beautiful girl has been brainwashed and I am gently trying to entice her off the internet and shower her with love and patience so she keeps trusting in my instincts and gives herself a chance at being a girl.  
It makes me so sad to see the trend amongst young women to join the transgender cult and its definitely a huge blow for feminism.   The medical world is being swept along before proper research has been done to determine the far reaching consequences of the hormone treatments on physical and mental health.  Mutilating surgeryies are being done and its some sort of crazy social experiment that only us in the 1st world areas can afford to indulge in.

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Same scenario here. Biological 16 y.o. daughter is identifying as male for two years. In 7th grade said she was bi, 8th grade gay and freshman year transgender. She had know underlying learning disabilities, anxiety and I think she is hoping this will clear that all up. Counselors and psychiatrist warned of not questioning her because it could lead to self harm and suicide. How as a parent, can we not question an adolescent and their choices. We have to be guardrails for them in everything but this issue? It feels helpless.

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Hello everyone I am also new here. I have an 11 year old daughter who has always been a 'tom boy' or not a stereotypical girl anyway. I often wondered if she would turn out to be gay and have just supported her non typical girl style. She wears what she wants and has her hair how she wants. She joined a football team. She hangs out with the boys. It's fine and she is largely accepted in primary school for just being how she is. But het behaviour lately had been "off". I put it down to hormones and this horrendous lockdown situation (I am in the uk). But last night she burst into tears and told me she wants to be a boy. We had a cuddle and a calm chat and she agreed to just keep on as we are for the time being (she can dress like a boy and wear her hair short) but that nothing else changes for now (her name!). I said I will try and seek counselling if she wishes but I really dont want this pushed on her. She had always been so happy and joyful and she used to laugh when people called her a boy and say "girls can play sport too" or "girls dont have to wear dresses" and I used to say she can be who she wants to be and the world needs strong women...now I'm devastated that I've "caused" this. I have asked her has she been following gender queer social media but she says no. To make things a bit harder her step mums sister recently transitioned medically and is now identifying as Male. I'm so upset and confused and alone. I dont want to talk to her dad just yet he is a bit bloody useless if I'm honest. Hoping to get my account verified soon.

[poochlaya]

I've just submitted my registration on this forum after my 17 year old son declared out of nowhere that he wants to be a girl and wants to do hormones so he can pass. Friends in his surrounding have either transitioned themselves or are egging him on. He is not talking to us and seems to be brainwashed, like a cult member. Everything he says obviously comes from somewhere else. And the craziest thing is that he doesn't even say he has gender dysphoria. He just says he wants to be a girl, and he thought long and hard about it for almost two years after he learned that "it's an option".
After reading multiple stories about kids fast-tracked to hormone therapy without any questions asked, and doctors questioning this approach being fired and ostracized, I am terrified. I think the clinics who do that are negligent and should be sued for medical malpractice by people who, after growing up and detransitioning, ended up sterile and with their bodies mutilated. I would like to start a thread on the board once I can access it to seek input from people like that and their parents and consider whether a class-action lawsuit should be considered and proposed to various class action firms. I cannot just sit and watch this genocide against our kids happening and my child being swept by this tsunami. Would like to hear what others have to say.

[Marge Bouvier Simpson]

I've just submitted my registration on this forum after my 17 year old son declared out of nowhere that he wants to be a girl and wants to do hormones so he can pass. Friends in his surrounding have either transitioned themselves or are egging him on. He is not talking to us and seems to be brainwashed, like a cult member. Everything he says obviously comes from somewhere else. And the craziest thing is that he doesn't even say he has gender dysphoria. He just says he wants to be a girl, and he thought long and hard about it for almost two years after he learned that "it's an option".
After reading multiple stories about kids fast-tracked to hormone therapy without any questions asked, and doctors questioning this approach being fired and ostracized, I am terrified. I think the clinics who do that are negligent and should be sued for medical malpractice by people who, after growing up and detransitioning, ended up sterile and with their bodies mutilated. I would like to start a thread on the board once I can access it to seek input from people like that and their parents and consider whether a class-action lawsuit should be considered and proposed to various class action firms. I cannot just sit and watch this genocide against our kids happening and my child being swept by this tsunami. Would like to hear what others have to say.

Poochlaya, a belated welcome to you. I hope you've had a chance to visit the members-only boards. If not, I invite you to do so, as your memberships has been activated. Members don't often visit this portion of the forum, so if you'd like to tell your story the members-only area, you're likely to get more response.

Welcome. You are not alone.

[Jetplane05]

Hi, pleased to find this forum. I have a (almost) 16 year old who recently came out as a transman. Hoping to find some support etc. on here..

[Marge Bouvier Simpson]

Hi, pleased to find this forum. I have a (almost) 16 year old who recently came out as a transman. Hoping to find some support etc. on here..

Hello, Jetplace05, and welcome.

Your account has been activated. I hope you find the forum helpful.

[Guest]

I have a 14 yo daughter who is witty, smart, beautiful and has always suffered from FOMO (fear of missing out). We live in Ontario Canada (near Toronto) and have been in pandemic lockdown since March 2020. Our family has gone through drastic changes since 2016 (divorce, two house moves, job loss (dad), girlfriends, job changes, and ... puberty!). Summer 2020 she comes out as bi-sexual. Fall 2020 ... she starts insisting that she cuts her hair shorter and shorter. Winter 2020/2021 she comes out as trans. This is happening all so fast. She is the kid who fights for the underdog and would be burning her bra if we were in 1960. She is (IMO) not trans but rather... lonely, wanting, needing... feeling lost and disconnected. She is acting as though she is in a cult and drinking the kool aid by the gallon. She wants desperately to be the 'cool' kid... the outrageous one... the brave one... the one that is a bit different and gets the attention she desires. But is looking for affirmation in all the wrong places. Is there any other parent in the Toronto area that has or is dealing with this? While I don't believe she is trans and I'm pretty sure she doesn't believe she is trans... she would rather save face and do something crazy (b/c she's 14) than admit she might not be. At this point I feel like we are in a game of chicken or go and it's about saving face. Has anyone else experienced this as well?  My end goal.. to keep her safe, healthy and her options OPEN!

Hi Lisa, I feel for you.  For the last few days, i've been extremely emotional because my daughter has been doing the same thing and she is only 10.5 but has already reached puberty and it seems like she spiraled downhill since the pandemic, anxiety has gone up, feelings of depression.  She says she now identifies as a boy and wants to cut her hair short.  She's so beautiful and has a beautiful female body and it hurts to my deepest being that she's going through this and our family is now dealing with this.  My wife doesn't think she can handle this and I'm not sure I can either, let alone our relatives who don't really know yet.  I didn't expect this to ever happen to any of my children and i'm now fearful for her life and how it's going to turn out.  I'm in Toronto as well and am looking at calling a psychiatrist about this so she can talk to someone.  I'm not activated yet but i'd like to connect at some point with you.  Thanks.

[Marge Bouvier Simpson]

[quote pid='46798' dateline='1617891738']

I have a 14 yo daughter who is witty, smart, beautiful and has always suffered from FOMO (fear of missing out). We live in Ontario Canada (near Toronto) and have been in pandemic lockdown since March 2020. Our family has gone through drastic changes since 2016 (divorce, two house moves, job loss (dad), girlfriends, job changes, and ... puberty!). Summer 2020 she comes out as bi-sexual. Fall 2020 ... she starts insisting that she cuts her hair shorter and shorter. Winter 2020/2021 she comes out as trans. This is happening all so fast. She is the kid who fights for the underdog and would be burning her bra if we were in 1960. She is (IMO) not trans but rather... lonely, wanting, needing... feeling lost and disconnected. She is acting as though she is in a cult and drinking the kool aid by the gallon. She wants desperately to be the 'cool' kid... the outrageous one... the brave one... the one that is a bit different and gets the attention she desires. But is looking for affirmation in all the wrong places. Is there any other parent in the Toronto area that has or is dealing with this? While I don't believe she is trans and I'm pretty sure she doesn't believe she is trans... she would rather save face and do something crazy (b/c she's 14) than admit she might not be. At this point I feel like we are in a game of chicken or go and it's about saving face. Has anyone else experienced this as well?  My end goal.. to keep her safe, healthy and her options OPEN!

Hi Lisa, I feel for you.  For the last few days, i've been extremely emotional because my daughter has been doing the same thing and she is only 10.5 but has already reached puberty and it seems like she spiraled downhill since the pandemic, anxiety has gone up, feelings of depression.  She says she now identifies as a boy and wants to cut her hair short.  She's so beautiful and has a beautiful female body and it hurts to my deepest being that she's going through this and our family is now dealing with this.  My wife doesn't think she can handle this and I'm not sure I can either, let alone our relatives who don't really know yet.  I didn't expect this to ever happen to any of my children and i'm now fearful for her life and how it's going to turn out.  I'm in Toronto as well and am looking at calling a psychiatrist about this so she can talk to someone.  I'm not activated yet but i'd like to connect at some point with you.  Thanks.
[/quote]

Hello, guest, and welcome. Your account has been activated. I'm sorry to hear about your daughter but glad you found the forum. 

Be very careful about any doctor or therapist you take your daughter to. Interview them before allowing them to see your daughter -- whether over the phone, by email or in person, and without your daughter present -- to get their views on how they would approach treatment for a girl in your daughter's situation. Most of them will immediately affirm your daughter as a boy rather than helping her look for reasons that might be causing her to wish she was not a girl. You'll have to carefully sniff out someone who won't.

And again, welcome. I hope you'll find the forum helpful.

[Crocks]

[quote pid='46798' dateline='1617891738']

I have a 14 yo daughter who is witty, smart, beautiful and has always suffered from FOMO (fear of missing out). We live in Ontario Canada (near Toronto) and have been in pandemic lockdown since March 2020. Our family has gone through drastic changes since 2016 (divorce, two house moves, job loss (dad), girlfriends, job changes, and ... puberty!). Summer 2020 she comes out as bi-sexual. Fall 2020 ... she starts insisting that she cuts her hair shorter and shorter. Winter 2020/2021 she comes out as trans. This is happening all so fast. She is the kid who fights for the underdog and would be burning her bra if we were in 1960. She is (IMO) not trans but rather... lonely, wanting, needing... feeling lost and disconnected. She is acting as though she is in a cult and drinking the kool aid by the gallon. She wants desperately to be the 'cool' kid... the outrageous one... the brave one... the one that is a bit different and gets the attention she desires. But is looking for affirmation in all the wrong places. Is there any other parent in the Toronto area that has or is dealing with this? While I don't believe she is trans and I'm pretty sure she doesn't believe she is trans... she would rather save face and do something crazy (b/c she's 14) than admit she might not be. At this point I feel like we are in a game of chicken or go and it's about saving face. Has anyone else experienced this as well?  My end goal.. to keep her safe, healthy and her options OPEN!

Hi Lisa, I feel for you.  For the last few days, i've been extremely emotional because my daughter has been doing the same thing and she is only 10.5 but has already reached puberty and it seems like she spiraled downhill since the pandemic, anxiety has gone up, feelings of depression.  She says she now identifies as a boy and wants to cut her hair short.  She's so beautiful and has a beautiful female body and it hurts to my deepest being that she's going through this and our family is now dealing with this.  My wife doesn't think she can handle this and I'm not sure I can either, let alone our relatives who don't really know yet.  I didn't expect this to ever happen to any of my children and i'm now fearful for her life and how it's going to turn out.  I'm in Toronto as well and am looking at calling a psychiatrist about this so she can talk to someone.  I'm not activated yet but i'd like to connect at some point with you.  Thanks.

Hello, guest, and welcome. Your account has been activated. I'm sorry to hear about your daughter but glad you found the forum. 

Be very careful about any doctor or therapist you take your daughter to. Interview them before allowing them to see your daughter -- whether over the phone, by email or in person, and without your daughter present -- to get their views on how they would approach treatment for a girl in your daughter's situation. Most of them will immediately affirm your daughter as a boy rather than helping her look for reasons that might be causing her to wish she was not a girl. You'll have to carefully sniff out someone who won't.

And again, welcome. I hope you'll find the forum helpful.
[/quote]
I am also in a similar situation. Prior to the pandemic in 6th grade my 12 year old daughter told me about an older student in 8th grade that was "trans". She made friends with other students who saw themselves as LGB but she always said she was the "straight" one.  In May, after 2 months into lock down and school closure, she told my husband, her brother and I she was bisexual. Then in July she told me she was nonbinary and wanted to use the pronouns "they/them".  I met this was surprise and told her that I would be unable to do that.  That I loved her very much but was not comfortable with this idea.  As the fall approached she expressed the desire to get her hair cut shorter and then shorter.  She was spending a great deal time on the internet due to a hybrid school schedule, but this had been unfortunately consistent throughout the whole lockdown. It was becoming more obvious to me as to where this was going but we did not have a candid conversation.  In January she told me she wanted to be a boy.  And that she had felt like this since the summer. I had some tears and did talk with her in a caring way. But we did not make this a focus of our everyday life. I knew her friends were using a male name for her, but they all had nicknames that were male.  She had been on Prozac due to increased anxiety since December, which didn't seem to be making things better.  In late February early March she told her teachers she wanted them to call her by her male name.  We were unaware.  She also started requesting people to use he/him pronouns.  None of which we were doing in the home.   In March she expressed feelings of self harm and she was hospitalized. Our lives have all been turned upside down.  During the hospitalization we were pretty much forced to affirm her new male name and pronouns.  It was very difficult to have your child suffer such a traumatic experience and not be able to call the hospital and ask for your child by the name you have given them.  She is home now with no expressed thoughts of self harm and on a new medication.  We have been spending a great deal of time together which has been nice and we reduced her online access significantly. Her periods have always been difficult, frequent with cramps and some vomiting.  I believe this has contributed to her dislike of her body.  She is beautiful, caring, smart.  My husband and her brother want to help her navigate this in a healthy way.  I know she was not born in the wrong body.  I feel she has been brainwashed by the internet and the lack of social contact created through the pandemic was a breeding ground for her dysphoria.  I thought this before I even started reading information or other peoples post, and now realize we are not alone.  I am hopeful that she will overcome this but I am so scared for what the future holds.

[Marge Bouvier Simpson]

[quote pid='46798' dateline='1617891738']

I have a 14 yo daughter who is witty, smart, beautiful and has always suffered from FOMO (fear of missing out). We live in Ontario Canada (near Toronto) and have been in pandemic lockdown since March 2020. Our family has gone through drastic changes since 2016 (divorce, two house moves, job loss (dad), girlfriends, job changes, and ... puberty!). Summer 2020 she comes out as bi-sexual. Fall 2020 ... she starts insisting that she cuts her hair shorter and shorter. Winter 2020/2021 she comes out as trans. This is happening all so fast. She is the kid who fights for the underdog and would be burning her bra if we were in 1960. She is (IMO) not trans but rather... lonely, wanting, needing... feeling lost and disconnected. She is acting as though she is in a cult and drinking the kool aid by the gallon. She wants desperately to be the 'cool' kid... the outrageous one... the brave one... the one that is a bit different and gets the attention she desires. But is looking for affirmation in all the wrong places. Is there any other parent in the Toronto area that has or is dealing with this? While I don't believe she is trans and I'm pretty sure she doesn't believe she is trans... she would rather save face and do something crazy (b/c she's 14) than admit she might not be. At this point I feel like we are in a game of chicken or go and it's about saving face. Has anyone else experienced this as well?  My end goal.. to keep her safe, healthy and her options OPEN!

Hi Lisa, I feel for you.  For the last few days, i've been extremely emotional because my daughter has been doing the same thing and she is only 10.5 but has already reached puberty and it seems like she spiraled downhill since the pandemic, anxiety has gone up, feelings of depression.  She says she now identifies as a boy and wants to cut her hair short.  She's so beautiful and has a beautiful female body and it hurts to my deepest being that she's going through this and our family is now dealing with this.  My wife doesn't think she can handle this and I'm not sure I can either, let alone our relatives who don't really know yet.  I didn't expect this to ever happen to any of my children and i'm now fearful for her life and how it's going to turn out.  I'm in Toronto as well and am looking at calling a psychiatrist about this so she can talk to someone.  I'm not activated yet but i'd like to connect at some point with you.  Thanks.

Hello, guest, and welcome. Your account has been activated. I'm sorry to hear about your daughter but glad you found the forum. 

Be very careful about any doctor or therapist you take your daughter to. Interview them before allowing them to see your daughter -- whether over the phone, by email or in person, and without your daughter present -- to get their views on how they would approach treatment for a girl in your daughter's situation. Most of them will immediately affirm your daughter as a boy rather than helping her look for reasons that might be causing her to wish she was not a girl. You'll have to carefully sniff out someone who won't.

And again, welcome. I hope you'll find the forum helpful.

I am also in a similar situation. Prior to the pandemic in 6th grade my 12 year old daughter told me about an older student in 8th grade that was "trans". She made friends with other students who saw themselves as LGB but she always said she was the "straight" one.  In May, after 2 months into lock down and school closure, she told my husband, her brother and I she was bisexual. Then in July she told me she was nonbinary and wanted to use the pronouns "they/them".  I met this was surprise and told her that I would be unable to do that.  That I loved her very much but was not comfortable with this idea.  As the fall approached she expressed the desire to get her hair cut shorter and then shorter.  She was spending a great deal time on the internet due to a hybrid school schedule, but this had been unfortunately consistent throughout the whole lockdown. It was becoming more obvious to me as to where this was going but we did not have a candid conversation.  In January she told me she wanted to be a boy.  And that she had felt like this since the summer. I had some tears and did talk with her in a caring way. But we did not make this a focus of our everyday life. I knew her friends were using a male name for her, but they all had nicknames that were male.  She had been on Prozac due to increased anxiety since December, which didn't seem to be making things better.  In late February early March she told her teachers she wanted them to call her by her male name.  We were unaware.  She also started requesting people to use he/him pronouns.  None of which we were doing in the home.   In March she expressed feelings of self harm and she was hospitalized. Our lives have all been turned upside down.  During the hospitalization we were pretty much forced to affirm her new male name and pronouns.  It was very difficult to have your child suffer such a traumatic experience and not be able to call the hospital and ask for your child by the name you have given them.  She is home now with no expressed thoughts of self harm and on a new medication.  We have been spending a great deal of time together which has been nice and we reduced her online access significantly. Her periods have always been difficult, frequent with cramps and some vomiting.  I believe this has contributed to her dislike of her body.  She is beautiful, caring, smart.  My husband and her brother want to help her navigate this in a healthy way.  I know she was not born in the wrong body.  I feel she has been brainwashed by the internet and the lack of social contact created through the pandemic was a breeding ground for her dysphoria.  I thought this before I even started reading information or other peoples post, and now realize we are not alone.  I am hopeful that she will overcome this but I am so scared for what the future holds.
[/quote]

Welcome, ccrocker, to the forum. I'm sorry to hear about your daughter's troubles but glad you found this site. Your membership has been activated. I hope you find the forum helpful.

[Rang]

Hello I'm new to the forum. Today my 12 year daughter told me she is a boy. She wants me to call her son. I told her I love her but will not be calling her son, she was born a girl. I feel in today's society this way of life is being pushed and if I feel different I'm some how not understanding or an awful person. To be honest I have no idea what to do. One thing I won't do is play in to this gender role. She is my daughter and I love her but I will not be calling her my son because she is not. I have always been there for her and still will be. 

I'm I a horrible parent because I will not follow today's society and just go along with my daughter calling her my son and treating her like she is a boy? I really need some advice. Thank you