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About the Gender Critical Support Board
(31-Dec-2017, 04:17 AM)DangerFox Wrote: Hello @dangerfox,

Thank you for your post. I am too the parent of a daughter whom out of the blue came out as "trans". She is a senior this year in HS and will be graduating in the summer of 2020. I am curious to know what outcome did you have with her school and name in her diploma? 
I am afraid that my daughter will be requesting this to her school counselor.  I am in the process of scheduling a meeting with the school principal to talk about this. 
I hope you are doing well. 


I’m very glad I found this place.

My daughter first brought up wanting to be male the first day of summer after 7th grade…so…2015. She had never expressed anything like this in her short 12 years. In fact, she hadn’t really said much about anything ever; and out of the blue, she sends her father and me a text saying that she’s felt this way for a “long time” and she didn’t want us to talk to her about it. Uhhh…Nope. Not gonna happen.

So, I countered with “it is unfair to drop this on us when you haven’t spoken to us about ANYTHING for 2 years.” So we took a step back and she started therapy.

Tonight I brought it up again because things kinda got back to a “normal” life and I was scared of the answer…well, she says she identifies as male, her friends call her by her preferred name, but she doesn’t want to do surgery or testosterone while she’s in high school. She does want to change her name before graduation.

This isn’t about me, of course. If she’s really transgender, then fine. I love my kid no matter what.

But I don’t think she’s trans and I can’t figure a way to broach my skepticism with her.

I told her tonight, “I just want you to do well in school so you can get out of this state…and I want you to be happy. That’s it.”

We’ve got a lot of work to do on this journey…and I’m trying to get passed my hurt feelings.

Anyway…I need a community that won’t vilify me for my position with my child.

Thanks for reading.
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i am from Italy hello. Can you help me translate? /rardor
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Hello to a new member who registered within the last 12 hours or so... I am so sorry but I accidentally deleted your account rather than activating it. I do not remember your chosen user name to address you personally, and I cannot figure out how to retrieve any information from the deleted account, or how to restore it. Please register again. I am so sorry. I certainly hope you will see this message and re-register. Again, I am so sorry.
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Hi, mom to 11 year old daughter here. Very creative, independent, always did her own thing, loves to role play, found "amino" chat group which shares art, but also has "communities" which include LGBTQ boards and I've found when kids post their artwork, they always assign a "gender and sexuality" to their characters, so she was probably introduced to these concepts online - other than basic discussions with us. 6th grade here is middle school and it's been very tough for her. Friends are changing, hormones (she's well into starting puberty, even started her first period - which she seemed excited about!), and has trouble staying focused on and turning in timely work at school. Also, found online video game - a psychological horror game called "Doki Doki Literature Club" where lesbians date each other, but one takes over the computer and you're forced to watch her manipulate all of the other girls to commit suicide. This along with the fact that she expresses feelings for girls (which we are totally fine with) I believe lead her to suicide ideation. After drawing scary pictures at school of nooses and cries for help, had to pick her up, go to crisis center and then 5 days in behavioral health facility. This has all been very surreal for us as she was always just a kid before 6th grade. There's a chance she may be high functioning spectrum, it's hard to know for sure and I've not had much luck in locating specialists in girls autism. Both my girls scored off the charts in reading in elementary school. When she went through intense feelings of sadness after starting 6th grade, starting working with a counselor. After 1.5 months, the counselor said she was going to start referring to her as "they/them" and asked us how we would feel about having a son instead of a daughter!! My husband and I were shocked to say the least! Now, I know that while transgender people exist and deserve dignity and respect for their feelings, we are talking about an 11 year old girl, who can't possibly understand what that life entails. I made the mistake of checking out LGBTQ books from the library in my effort to help her feel more comfortable about exploring, but these books included pro-nouns and transgender identities and I think she's become confused with normal feelings of not fitting in and of being a tomboy and possible lesbian with being born in the wrong body! I have serious grave concerns with "professionals" who just go along with the feelings of an 11 year old in terms of allowing them to so easily fall into the trap of social transition. We tried for a day or two and I just couldn't do it. She tried to use the men's bathroom once at the mall and ran out a minute later saying that "all the grown men were giving her bad looks" etc. To be honest, I was relieved, because that would only be the beginning of a very difficult life. I will not set my daughter down the path of social transition without allowing her to truly experience life as a girl and being gently reinforced that she is a girl and under no circumstances will I consider medical intervention. My hope is to help guide her and give her the tools to question herself so she can make the best decisions for her life. She has also brought up things like how girls and woman are depicted in media and how it's not fair that women can't play with men, etc, so she is obviously observing life and questioning these things. I did let her get her hair cut short and of course that made her feel excited and special at school which worries me that it reinforces, act like a boy to fit in. I am ok with clothing choices, hairstyle exploration, etc. but I don't want her to fall into an identity trap. We've also restricted all internet access at home. They don't like it, but I think it's helped. At this point, we're just trying to keep her engaged and talking to us (which she does and we're grateful) and will have her join some sports groups/ art groups etc to expand her circle of interests and friends. She still enjoys girl scouts and says she wants to stay in it (after asking another co-leader if one could be transgender and still be in girl scouts (sigh)). For now she's not pushed the "boy" issue for a little while and considers herself lesbian, but I have to be best prepared for if this issue raises it's head again. I am speaking with her counselor more at length tomorrow to see is she is the right fit. I've already expressed that I am not on board with supporting any type of transition and that my daughter needs to explore all others issues she's facing first. She said her goal was to create a "safe space" for my daughter to talk about anything. We'll see. Also, not sure if I can see any private forums or not? I don't think I can as everything seems to be under public umbrella? Thanks for reading...Concerned Parent!
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Hello, mrscarrey, your account has now been activated.

Welcome to the board. I'm sorry yet another parent is dealing with this madness but glad you found us.

Let me now if you would like to move your post to the members-only section; you may not want to leave it here in the public area as it has some info that might identify you or your child. Editing your post is another option.

I hope you'll find the board helpful.

edit: I see you've removed your daughter's name from your post. Good thinking!
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(12-Dec-2019, 04:20 PM)Marge Bouvier Simpson Wrote: Hello, mrscarrey, your account has now been activated.

Welcome to the board. I'm sorry yet another parent is dealing with this madness but glad you found us.

Let me now if you would like to move your post to the members-only section; you may not want to leave it here in the public area as it has some info that might identify you or your child. Editing your post is another option.

I hope you'll find the board helpful.

edit: I see you've removed your daughter's name from your post. Good thinking!

Oops, thanks, I went to remove the name and then it looks like my post got deleted?  Been a while since I've been on message boards. Thanks for the active membership.
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I still see your original post (with kiddo's name deleted), it is post #116 on this page. Post numbers are on the right-hand side of each post, toward the top of that post. Do you see your post?
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(12-Dec-2019, 06:02 PM)Marge Bouvier Simpson Wrote: I still see your original post (with kiddo's name deleted), it is post #116 on this page. Post numbers are on the right-hand side of each post, toward the top of that post. Do you see your post?
Yes, thank you again!
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