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About the Gender Critical Support Board
#91
Hi Looking in the Tunnel,

Your account has been activated. Please join us in the members-only area where you will likely receive a larger response to your questions. 

Welcome. You are not alone.
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#92
Hi. I'm hoping to have found a like-minded place. Our delightful 14.5 year old son announced to us at breakfast yesterday and out of the blue that he feels he is a girl, would like us to use female pronouns and call him our daughter. I never saw this coming, and I am not proud of how I am reacting to it. I do not wish to shame him, to invalidate his experience, to try to convince him of something that isn't true inside him. But I cannot help being skeptical. I've been completely distracted by this since he told us, and don't know what to do. I spent most of the day yesterday trying to just be at peace with it, telling myself there is nothing I can do. My husband and I talked about finding a therapist who will help us all navigate this transition, but then we woke up this morning and asked ourselves, what if we just told him no, this is not how we see you? Would it just drive him away from us?
Today we had another conversation with our son. I asked him when he says he feels like he's a girl, what does that look like, or feel like? He was unable to articulate it, and I asked him what it looks like or feels like to be a boy--also unable to articulate it. I told him he has given us a lot to think about in the past 24 hours, that I am supportive of whoever he is, but I don't believe it is the right approach to apply the label and make the sudden pronouncement first, when he hasn't sorted out his own feelings. He doesn't understand the ramifications of this, and he hasn't explored what gender identity means to him at all. He's 14; that's still a CHILD!
I feel like a terrible parent. I am not unsupportive of transgender people; I think we should have gender free bathrooms, trans adults should serve in the military and in Congress, and should be treated with dignity and respect. 
And this is not me saying it's fine for others, just not for my child. I am fully supportive of him trying on female behaviors and female presentations. If he wants to start wearing dresses and makeup and growing his hair long, or whatever, I am on board. But can we just not call it transgender yet? There is a very broad spectrum of what a male can be like, and he might be somewhere on that, rather than pronouncing himself female and taking whatever extraordinary measures he might take to complete that transition.
My membership is not activated yet, so I look forward to reading more on here, and hopefully finding support.
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#93
Hello Alice, and welcome. I do believe you have come to the right place. We are a group of parents who love our kids and want to support them in every way that is beneficial and appropriate, but we (in general) do not think that transition or sex change is a decision that should be made so young, especially when for many of our kids it seems there are underlying issues or outside influences at play, affecting our kids' desires to be the opposite sex. We also are wary of the physical harms and dangers associated with transition drugs and surgeries.

Your account has been activated. Thanks for your patience.
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#94
Hello, I'm a parent whose child has recently told us he is trans after an entire chlidhood with zero symptoms of dysphoria whatsoever. Would love my account to be activated and would love access to the members only forum. Thank you.
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#95
Hi Alice, you are not alone. Our 16 yr old son told us he was transgender in February, after telling us he was bisexual last August. Its been a long 6 months as I've tried to learn everything I can about this. Like you, I doubt he is transgender but he has completely bought into this new identity. I too feel like I am in wonderland or bizarro-land or somewhere other than the real world. I just discovered this board (it was recommended on another GC site that I follow) and hope to join the discussion soon. Sad to see that so many of us are struggling with this but relieved to know I'm not alone.
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#96
Hello and welcome to hismom and stratocast23. Your accounts have been activated. Welcome to the forum. I hope you'll find it helpful.
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#97
Hello, I'm hoping that I can get help with my daughter 14 year old daughter that just last week told me she thinks she is trans.  Sorry I had to edit this because I didn't realize how much info I provided that could identify me. Thanks
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#98
Hi WorriedMother. Your story sounds very familiar. Your account is now activated and you have access to the members-only boards. Welcome.
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#99
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I'm so, so glad I found this forum! My 13 year old son recently told me he is nonbinary and wants my husband and I to stop using masculine pronouns and referring to him as our "son." He asked me to buy him female clothing and a purse. This has come completely out of the blue. Even my son admits to these feelings coming on very suddenly. This all began shortly after he got an iPhone and a few of his female friends came out as nonbinary/trans. He also came out as gay several months ago and said this was also a sudden realization on his part. My son loves theater and several of the actors he admires are trans or gender nonconforming in some way. It seems to be "cool" to be trans. My son has always been a unique/quirky, very bright, possibly autism spectrum. I also know he has ambivalent/negative feelings about puberty and his changing body. I want to be supportive of my kid but going along with this new reality doesn't feel right to me without exploring further what might be going on. I am looking forward to learning and sharing support with other parents here. Awaiting my account to be activated.
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