About the Gender Critical Support Board

[deeply-concerned]

Good morning, I just joined this board. I'm in Massachusetts. My daughter went on hormones 2 years ago, which I deeply regretted. She was 20 and I couldn't stop her. We agreed to disagree. Now she/they wants top surgery. She's got a pcp and a therapist at college who have already written letters of support. I am desperate, and finding it hard to live with myself having let things get this far. So glad for this list. Would like to find Boston area parents for support.

[Marge Bouvier Simpson]

Good morning, I just joined this board. I'm in Massachusetts. My daughter went on hormones 2 years ago, which I deeply regretted. She was 20 and I couldn't stop her. We agreed to disagree. Now she/they wants top surgery. She's got a pcp and a therapist at college who have already written letters of support. I am desperate, and finding it hard to live with myself having let things get this far. So glad for this list. Would like to find Boston area parents for support.

Hi, mollyr. welcome to the board. Your account has been activated.

I'm so sorry about all of this. As tragic as it is and as badly as you feel about it, please don't blame yourself. Once a person is 18, they can legally undergo whatever medical transition treatments they want. Please don't feel like it's anything you've "allowed." In fact, many of us find that our kids dig their heels in harder and deeper when a parent tries to prevent their child from medicalizing, even when done in the most kind, sensitve manner. Other adults, such as the child's friends, teachers, doctors and therapists encourage medicalization and facilitiate it very quickly, while parents are vilified for expressing doubts and asking the pateint to slow down, do their own research and approach transition more cautiously.

As far as finding a parent support group, this board offers informal online support and we are happy to have you, though sad you have reason to join. The organization Parents of ROGD Kids can connect you with others in your area. Go to this link:  https://www.parentsofrogdkids.com/  and follow the prompts to join. Do keep in mind that this organization is run be a couple of parents who are volunteers, so please be patient when waiting to hear that your membership has been approved.

Best wishes and welcome to the board. You are not alone.

[deeply-concerned]

Good morning, I just joined this board. I'm in Massachusetts. My daughter went on hormones 2 years ago, which I deeply regretted. She was 20 and I couldn't stop her. We agreed to disagree. Now she/they wants top surgery. She's got a pcp and a therapist at college who have already written letters of support. I am desperate, and finding it hard to live with myself having let things get this far. So glad for this list. Would like to find Boston area parents for support.

Hi, mollyr. welcome to the board. Your account has been activated.

I'm so sorry about all of this. As tragic as it is and as badly as you feel about it, please don't blame yourself. Once a person is 18, they can legally undergo whatever medical transition treatments they want. Please don't feel like it's anything you've "allowed." In fact, many of us find that our kids dig their heels in harder and deeper when a parent tries to prevent their child from medicalizing, even when done in the most kind, sensitve manner. Other adults, such as the child's friends, teachers, doctors and therapists encourage medicalization and facilitiate it very quickly, while parents are vilified for expressing doubts and asking the pateint to slow down, do their own research and approach transition more cautiously.

As far as finding a parent support group, this board offers informal online support and we are happy to have you, though sad you have reason to join. The organization Parents of ROGD Kids can connect you with others in your area. Go to this link:  https://www.parentsofrogdkids.com/  and follow the prompts to join. Do keep in mind that this organization is run be a couple of parents who are volunteers, so please be patient when waiting to hear that your membership has been approved.

Best wishes and welcome to the board. You are not alone.

Thank you so much, Marge. Your message means alot to me. When you've gotten to know me a bit better, I have technology skills and would be like to help run the website. Spent 20 years in academic ed tech.

[Taka]

My little sister has announced that she's trans and right now I feel like the only real adult in the house. My parents are just kind of going along with it, and my other sister (I'm the oldest) is actually supporting her. Sometimes I wonder if there's something I should have done - my little sister was always kinda hero-worshipping me and following me round and I was okay with it. Now suddenly she's decided she's a boy. And the rest of my family thinks its normal??

[Marge Bouvier Simpson]

My little sister has announced that she's trans and right now I feel like the only real adult in the house. My parents are just kind of going along with it, and my other sister (I'm the oldest) is actually supporting her. Sometimes I wonder if there's something I should have done - my little sister was always kinda hero-worshipping me and following me round and I was okay with it. Now suddenly she's decided she's a boy. And the rest of my family thinks its normal??

Welcome to the board. Your account has been activated. I hope your parents and sister are able to see how trans has become a fad and/or a social contagion among teens, tweens and young adults. If your family members can be supportive and understanding of her identity issues without jumping into blind affirmation, this will give your sister some room to figure out what's going on. More and more young people are experimenting with a trans identity for a year or two or three, and then leaving it behind. However, realizing that they are not really trans becomes much more difficult when they are immediately affirmed, praised and socially or medically transitioned.

I hope your family members will get on board with the "watchful waiting" approach.

Welcome to the board. You are not alone.

[Mamaheart]

I've just joined, and I also am just freshly into this with my daughter. I'm hopeful to jump into the member boards soon as this is just eating me up and consuming all of my thoughts. I have always had such good mama's intuition with her and in my gut I strongly feel this is not her truth. I don't know how to balance making sure she knows she is always loved for who she is with making sure she isn't in this place due to social media and as a way to cope with school anxiety.

[Marge Bouvier Simpson]

I've just joined, and I also am just freshly into this with my daughter. I'm hopeful to jump into the member boards soon as this is just eating me up and consuming all of my thoughts. I have always had such good mama's intuition with her and in my gut I strongly feel this is not her truth. I don't know how to balance making sure she knows she is always loved for who she is with making sure she isn't in this place due to social media and as a way to cope with school anxiety.

Hello, Mamaheart, and welcome to the board.

Your account has been activated.

I'm sorry for what you and your daughter are dealing with. My advice is to follow your gut instincts, as you mentioned.

I hope you find the board helpful.

Wishing you the best.

[JJggg]

My son is 14 and wants to become a woman. Early stages of Gender Dysphoria.

I read lots of articles about gender disister detransition and early stages of prevention. My son needs help and he is just confused.

History of the issue:

- hes shown no signs of being gay hes a well-mannnered boy
- no signs of trying to cross-dress when he was little
- doesn't like women's stuff
- was an abrupt decision on his end.

I overheard him talking on the phone 1am in the morning and i knocked on his door and asked him who he was talking to then he became hysterical says he heard a ghost and heard something etc. I told him he was lying because I could clearly hear him talking to someone. Then I kept on asking who he was talking to etc. Then from that point on his mom got involved and eventually, he said hes been visiting a site called Trevorproject and been talking to people there and that it was a site for gender help.

This happened maybe because i grounded him months back. He plays online games a lot very active and has this discord group and he's an admin and very much trash-talking when playing to the point that he carried the attitude towards his parents. So I ended his online games.

I noticed a month after that he was locking his bedroom door now and stays there all day all the time so i ddint bother . He had his phone with him and i think he had a mental breakdown of the sudden stop of his gaming activity.

We don't know what to do as a parent. I feel and believe that he acquired this ideology of being trans online and must have spoken to someone that have hone his curiosity, a predator online. He mentioned hea=s been with trevorproject 5months and it's way enough time to brainwash him into thinking he is really a woman.

He's 14 and he's way to young to decide that he's already wanting to become trans.

Please helpMy son is 14 and wants to become a woman. Early stages of Gender Dysphoria.

I read lots of articles about gender disister detransition and early stages of prevention. My son needs help and he is just confused.

History of the issue:

- hes shown no signs of being gay hes a well-mannnered boy
- no signs of trying to cross-dress when he was little
- doesn't like women's stuff
- was an abrupt decision on his end.

I overheard him talking on the phone 1am in the morning and i knocked on his door and asked him who he was talking to then he became hysterical says he heard a ghost and heard something etc. I told him he was lying because I could clearly hear him talking to someone. Then I kept on asking who he was talking to etc. Then from that point on his mom got involved and eventually, he said hes been visiting a site called Trevorproject and been talking to people there and that it was a site for gender help.

This happened maybe because i grounded him months back. He plays online games a lot very active and has this discord group and he's an admin and very much trash-talking when playing to the point that he carried the attitude towards his parents. So I ended his online games.

I noticed a month after that he was locking his bedroom door now and stays there all day all the time so i ddint bother . He had his phone with him and i think he had a mental breakdown of the sudden stop of his gaming activity.

We don't know what to do as a parent. I feel and believe that he acquired this ideology of being trans online and must have spoken to someone that have hone his curiosity, a predator online. He mentioned hea=s been with trevorproject 5months and it's way enough time to brainwash him into thinking he is really a woman.

He's 14 and he's way to young to decide that he's already wanting to become trans.

Please help

[Marge Bouvier Simpson]

My son is 14 and wants to become a woman. Early stages of Gender Dysphoria.

I read lots of articles about gender disister detransition and early stages of prevention. My son needs help and he is just confused.

History of the issue:

- hes shown no signs of being gay hes a well-mannnered boy
- no signs of trying to cross-dress when he was little
- doesn't like women's stuff
- was an abrupt decision on his end.

I overheard him talking on the phone 1am in the morning and i knocked on his door and asked him who he was talking to then he became hysterical says he heard a ghost and heard something etc. I told him he was lying because I could clearly hear him talking to someone. Then I kept on asking who he was talking to etc. Then from that point on his mom got involved and eventually, he said hes been visiting a site called Trevorproject and been talking to people there and that it was a site for gender help.

This happened maybe because i grounded him months back. He plays online games a lot very active and has this discord group and he's an admin and very much trash-talking when playing to the point that he carried the attitude towards his parents. So I ended his online games.

I noticed a month after that he was locking his bedroom door now and stays there all day all the time so i ddint bother . He had his phone with him and i think he had a mental breakdown of the sudden stop of his gaming activity.

We don't know what to do as a parent. I feel and believe that he acquired this ideology of being trans online and must have spoken to someone that have hone his curiosity, a predator online. He mentioned hea=s been with trevorproject 5months and it's way enough time to brainwash him into thinking he is really a woman.

He's 14 and he's way to young to decide that he's already wanting to become trans.

Please helpMy son is 14 and wants to become a woman. Early stages of Gender Dysphoria.

I read lots of articles about gender disister detransition and early stages of prevention. My son needs help and he is just confused.

History of the issue:

- hes shown no signs of being gay hes a well-mannnered boy
- no signs of trying to cross-dress when he was little
- doesn't like women's stuff
- was an abrupt decision on his end.

I overheard him talking on the phone 1am in the morning and i knocked on his door and asked him who he was talking to then he became hysterical says he heard a ghost and heard something etc. I told him he was lying because I could clearly hear him talking to someone. Then I kept on asking who he was talking to etc. Then from that point on his mom got involved and eventually, he said hes been visiting a site called Trevorproject and been talking to people there and that it was a site for gender help.

This happened maybe because i grounded him months back. He plays online games a lot very active and has this discord group and he's an admin and very much trash-talking when playing to the point that he carried the attitude towards his parents. So I ended his online games.

I noticed a month after that he was locking his bedroom door now and stays there all day all the time so i ddint bother . He had his phone with him and i think he had a mental breakdown of the sudden stop of his gaming activity.

We don't know what to do as a parent. I feel and believe that he acquired this ideology of being trans online and must have spoken to someone that have hone his curiosity, a predator online. He mentioned hea=s been with trevorproject 5months and it's way enough time to brainwash him into thinking he is really a woman.

He's 14 and he's way to young to decide that he's already wanting to become trans.

Please help

Hello, JJggg. 

I'm sorry for all you and your son are dealing with. His story sounds very familiar. I hope you'll join this board as a member. In the members-only area, you'll find parents who are dealing with this and feel the same way you do, as well as some advice and strategies for possibly helping your son. I recommend joining because most members don't visit this public area of the forum very often. 

To join, click on the word "register" near the top of the page, in the black bar just under the logo, and follow the prompts. Once you register, your acount must be activated by a moderator. This can take anywhere from a minute to a day, depending upon the activity and availability of our moderators.

Your story sounds very similar to the stories of many of our members. I hope you'll join us. Best wishes to you and your son.

[WantMyDaughterBack]

I've just joined, and I also am just freshly into this with my daughter. I'm hopeful to jump into the member boards soon as this is just eating me up and consuming all of my thoughts. I have always had such good mama's intuition with her and in my gut I strongly feel this is not her truth. I don't know how to balance making sure she knows she is always loved for who she is with making sure she isn't in this place due to social media and as a way to cope with school anxiety.

This is exactly how i feel about my 15 yo daughter.  I am looking forward to support from this group.