From the Members

[Marge Bouvier Simpson]

Hello. My son is a young adult and he says he wants to start hormones. He says he has moments where he feels uncomfortable with himself as a man. I would like to be in touch with other parents passing through this, with adult kids who have passed with it. Is this where I post?

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Hi Francesca, your account has been activated. You now have access to the members-only area.

I hope you find the forum helpful. Welcome.

[Mia]

Hello. I am looking for support from parents who have a child (young adult) who is detransitioning after having been on hormones and had top surgery. My child is now just realizing that transitioning was not the answer to years of suffering from complex and undiagnosed mental health issues. I am devastated at the pain and suffering my child has endured for so many years, though as a parent I am keeping a brave face and doing everything I can to be strong and to support her. Thank you for this community.

[Marge Bouvier Simpson]

Hello, Mia, and welcome. Your account has been activated.

I'm so sorry to hear about your daughter having to deal with detransition but glad she is moving into acceptance of herself. You may be the first parent of a detransitioner (rather than a desister) that we've had join, although there are many members who prefer to read rather than post, so it is hard to say with any accuracy how many other parents of detransitioners are here.

Regardless, I am certain our members would welcome you and would love to hear your and your daughter's stories, and learn from your experience. Your experiences and your story will be valuable to the board if you feel comfortable sharing them at some point.

[Mia]

Hello, Mia, and welcome. Your account has been activated.

I'm so sorry to hear about your daughter having to deal with detransition but glad she is moving into acceptance of herself. You may be the first parent of a detransitioner (rather than a desister) that we've had join, although there are many members who prefer to read rather than post, so it is hard to say with any accuracy how many other parents of detransitioners are here.

Regardless, I am certain our members would welcome you and would love to hear your and your daughter's stories, and learn from your experience. Your experiences and your story will be valuable to the board if you feel comfortable sharing them at some point.

Hello Marge.  Thank you very much for the welcome. I will gladly share my story and answer any questions anyone has on where we’ve been and where I hope we are headed.  I want to do what I can especially if I can help others in any way I can.

[annette]

Hi I am the mom of a 26 year old woman who recently decided she is a trans man. I know this is older, which makes it seem like it could be real for her but this just isn't her. She has completely cut us off. I feel like we have lost her forever and honestly she has been so awful for the last several months that I think our relationship is permanently damaged. We think she will never contact us or speak to us again. How did this happen?

[Marge Bouvier Simpson]

Welcome new members Mia and Annette.

If you feel comfortable doing so, I suggest you tell your stories in the members-only area as you will likely get a more responses there. This part of the forum doesn't get much readership.

[jayson]

Hi, I'm looking for a talk therapist versed in Rapid Onset Gender Dysphoria for my 19 year old daughter. We live in the Portland, Maine area and I imagine most therapists these days are turning to online sessions, so I thought I'd start there. Any recommendations are greatly appreciated!
Thank you!

[Marge Bouvier Simpson]

Hi, I'm looking for a talk therapist versed in Rapid Onset Gender Dysphoria for my 19 year old daughter. We live in the Portland, Maine area and I imagine most therapists these days are turning to online sessions, so I thought I'd start there. Any recommendations are greatly appreciated!
Thank you!

Hi Jayson and welcome.

Your account has been activated. I encourage you to ask your question in the members-only area, as this portion of the forum here doesn't get much traffic from members.

I hope you'll find the forum useful. Welcome, and please know you are not alone.

[LostNotCalm]

Hi everyone, I’m glad I have found this website and to know that I’m not alone. It has been a difficult journey and one I can’t see an end. It turned my life and specially my daughters life, upside down. What was once north, now is south, east is now west.
In primary school, my daughter never had many friends. In fact, she had one friend. Teachers would make me aware that my daughter would spend her school breaks sitting alone. It broke my heart.
We moved house (I’m separated from her dad) and she started high school in a different town.
No other kids from primary will be at her new school, and she could start fresh, making new friends.
She has always been very girly, loved make up, dressing up, all things girly. She started making friends and I was over the moon! I thought moving town was the best thing we ever done! How wrong was I!
I discovered that her new friends were part of the LGBT community. Don’t get me wrong, it’s amazing kids are getting support they need! My son is gay and I’m proud of him! Everyday! But soon after, my daughter decided she wanted to be a boy! I thought it was just a phase and everything will come to normal. Well, I’m here... If it would be something I knew it would come from her, if I could feel it in her bones, I would have done something about it a long time ago. But I trust my gut feeling, and I know that my daughter is following the steps of the ones that gave her attention. Who dedicated time to her. Who became her friends. She cut her her short, her name in school was changed. Now she wants to start hormone therapy. And now it’s very real to me! I’m scared, don’t know who to turn for help. She is very quiet, she has social anxiety, no friends outside the LGBT community and spends her life in front of the computer talking solely with other LGBT members. I want to talk to her but she’s really closed. She has a lot of social issues, no social skills whatsoever, except when she’s on the computer, where she comes to life! She talks forever, laughs, etc. For anyone else, she nods or waves. No words, no nothing. She doesn’t eat in front of anyone. She’s a follower of anything or anyone that gives her attention. I want her to go to therapy, to speak with someone about all it’s going on, but I’m scared she would leave the session with hormones without much thought. She would say that she always wanted to be a boy when I know for a fact that was exactly the opposite. The therapist wouldn’t know as he/she never met her. Not before, not now. It’s not that I don’t accept, transgender, gay, binary, etc. But I know this is a phase and I can’t let her ruin her future. She has 0 confidence in her self. She has never left the house to meet a friends. Outside the community, she has no one. I want to help her to discover her true self, to be confident and happy. I don’t know where to start, what to say to show her that I love her no matter what. But I can’t allow her to rush into transitioning without exhausting any other possibilities. If someone could share a word, I would very much appreciated it. I’m lost, I’m so lost, where I need to be strong.
Thank you for your time!

[Jdmum]

Hi everyone, I’m glad I have found this website and to know that I’m not alone. It has been a difficult journey and one I can’t see an end. It turned my life and specially my daughters life, upside down. What was once north, now is south, east is now west.
In primary school, my daughter never had many friends. In fact, she had one friend. Teachers would make me aware that my daughter would spend her school breaks sitting alone. It broke my heart.
We moved house (I’m separated from her dad) and she started high school in a different town.
No other kids from primary will be at her new school, and she could start fresh, making new friends.
She has always been very girly, loved make up, dressing up, all things girly. She started making friends and I was over the moon! I thought moving town was the best thing we ever done! How wrong was I!
I discovered that her new friends were part of the LGBT community. Don’t get me wrong, it’s amazing kids are getting support they need! My son is gay and I’m proud of him! Everyday! But soon after, my daughter decided she wanted to be a boy! I thought it was just a phase and everything will come to normal. Well, I’m here... If it would be something I knew it would come from her, if I could feel it in her bones, I would have done something about it a long time ago. But I trust my gut feeling, and I know that my daughter is following the steps of the ones that gave her attention. Who dedicated time to her. Who became her friends. She cut her her short, her name in school was changed. Now she wants to start hormone therapy. And now it’s very real to me! I’m scared, don’t know who to turn for help. She is very quiet, she has social anxiety, no friends outside the LGBT community and spends her life in front of the computer talking solely with other LGBT members. I want to talk to her but she’s really closed. She has a lot of social issues, no social skills whatsoever, except when she’s on the computer, where she comes to life! She talks forever, laughs, etc. For anyone else, she nods or waves. No words, no nothing. She doesn’t eat in front of anyone. She’s a follower of anything or anyone that gives her attention. I want her to go to therapy, to speak with someone about all it’s going on, but I’m scared she would leave the session with hormones without much thought. She would say that she always wanted to be a boy when I know for a fact that was exactly the opposite. The therapist wouldn’t know as he/she never met her. Not before, not now. It’s not that I don’t accept, transgender, gay, binary, etc. But I know this is a phase and I can’t let her ruin her future. She has 0 confidence in her self. She has never left the house to meet a friends. Outside the community, she has no one. I want to help her to discover her true self, to be confident and happy. I don’t know where to start, what to say to show her that I love her no matter what. But I can’t allow her to rush into transitioning without exhausting any other possibilities. If someone could share a word, I would very much appreciated it. I’m lost, I’m so lost, where I need to be strong.
Thank you for your time!

Lostnotcalm

Admin will approve your request to join soon.  You will find, unfortunately, loads of other people going through this.  You are not alone.  You will find separate sections to post in but please re-post what you’ve posted & read as much as you can within the forum.

Take care x