27-Sep-2021, 12:31 PM
I am so happy (and a bit sad that it has to exist) to have found this forum.
My beautiful 12 year old daughter last week decided to come out as trans. First, it was a journal entry that she blatantly left out for us to read. I first ignored it and then a few days later she left a note taped to her window. And also wrote "I'm Trans" on the chalkboard and "I'm Pan" note taped out on the other window. The note stated that she was a trans boy. That she wanted to get her hair cut short and use chest binders.
She has never shown any indication before this that she wanted to be a boy. She isn't the most girly of girls but she does play with makeup and likes fashion. In fact, her school uniform has a skirt or a pants option, she ALWAYS wears the skirt. Both my husband and I don't really see how she suddenly could be trans. We're both liberal people so it's not matter of us being gay or trans phobes but a deep concern that she is being heavily influenced by social media and her friend circle. We kinda were loose with the phone and internet usage during the pandemic because it was only way she could interact with some of her friends but now it's biting us in the butt! We have since taken away the phones from both kids and shut off YouTube.
We did confront her after seeing the note and honestly she didn't give a very convincing argument as why she felt that she was a boy stuck "in a girls body". She mostly mentioned that she didn't like what girls are like. We tried to probe further of what she means and she just shrugged her shoulders. I think it has more to do with that she doesn't fit with more clique-y girls at school so she using this as an out.
Reading through this message board, I nodded my head a bunch, like, yep, that totally sounds like my kid. I am glad I am not alone. It took me awhile to find a place because everything that I searched for about trans kids was about total acceptance and affirmation and not questioning whether it is truly the right thing for your kid.
We are working on getting therapy and so glad that I have done some homework so I can find a neutral therapist instead of a "transgender specialist" which was my first instinct because I naively thought they would help my kid explore and discover who she really is and not just simply affirm and lead her down a path of making a life altering change with severe consequences.
My beautiful 12 year old daughter last week decided to come out as trans. First, it was a journal entry that she blatantly left out for us to read. I first ignored it and then a few days later she left a note taped to her window. And also wrote "I'm Trans" on the chalkboard and "I'm Pan" note taped out on the other window. The note stated that she was a trans boy. That she wanted to get her hair cut short and use chest binders.
She has never shown any indication before this that she wanted to be a boy. She isn't the most girly of girls but she does play with makeup and likes fashion. In fact, her school uniform has a skirt or a pants option, she ALWAYS wears the skirt. Both my husband and I don't really see how she suddenly could be trans. We're both liberal people so it's not matter of us being gay or trans phobes but a deep concern that she is being heavily influenced by social media and her friend circle. We kinda were loose with the phone and internet usage during the pandemic because it was only way she could interact with some of her friends but now it's biting us in the butt! We have since taken away the phones from both kids and shut off YouTube.
We did confront her after seeing the note and honestly she didn't give a very convincing argument as why she felt that she was a boy stuck "in a girls body". She mostly mentioned that she didn't like what girls are like. We tried to probe further of what she means and she just shrugged her shoulders. I think it has more to do with that she doesn't fit with more clique-y girls at school so she using this as an out.
Reading through this message board, I nodded my head a bunch, like, yep, that totally sounds like my kid. I am glad I am not alone. It took me awhile to find a place because everything that I searched for about trans kids was about total acceptance and affirmation and not questioning whether it is truly the right thing for your kid.
We are working on getting therapy and so glad that I have done some homework so I can find a neutral therapist instead of a "transgender specialist" which was my first instinct because I naively thought they would help my kid explore and discover who she really is and not just simply affirm and lead her down a path of making a life altering change with severe consequences.
D, 13, ROGD Sept. 2021, Desistance (I hope) Aug. 2022
