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Posted by Surprise! - 16-Mar-2020, 12:45 PM
(27-Feb-2020, 08:24 PM)Zoomo Wrote: Out of the blue, our 16 yo son told us he is transgender about 8 month ago. He has always struggled with social anxiety and depression, but has never shown any inclination that he was a "girl trapped in a boy body." He has been seeing a counselor regularly; even though she is an affirming therapist and an ally, she herself said his story is "not consistent" with her other transgendered clients. We have refused any medical treatments or calling him by a different pronoun or name (which he has changed 5 times), but have let him experiment with feminine clothes/makeup at home. He usually tries something new then discards after a few weeks (because it's not making him happy!). Lately, he's been wearing a stuffed bra to school. It hasn't been noticeable so far because its winter and he wears sweatshirts, but warmer weather is approaching and we are afraid he will be discovered and potentially bullied and/or ostracized than he already is. We feel that wearing feminine clothes/bra in public and the potential for negative reactions from his peer group will confound his capacity for the "cautious exploration." As he still has two more years of high school left to navigate safely, we're torn between letting him publicly explore reactions and putting our foot down. We've been walking a thin line. It's so difficult knowing what to do and there's not much help online.

Hi Zoomo,

Hou sent me a private message, and I tried to respond, but it says your account is set to refuse private messages.  Fix that and send me another and I'll send you my reply.
Posted by Marge Bouvier Simpson - 27-Feb-2020, 11:11 PM
(27-Feb-2020, 01:26 PM)Mtnmum777 Wrote: Hello,
Wondering if I can join this group?
My son, who's in his early 20's, is dealing with gender dyphoria and we believe he's on female hormones, although he has not told us yet.

Thank you!

Welcome Mtnmum777, your account has been activated. Welcome to the forum. I'm sorry to hear your son is dealing with dysphoria. I hope you'll find the forum helpful.

(27-Feb-2020, 08:24 PM)Zoomo Wrote: Out of the blue, our 16 yo son told us he is transgender about 8 month ago. He has always struggled with social anxiety and depression, but has never shown any inclination that he was a "girl trapped in a boy body." He has been seeing a counselor regularly; even though she is an affirming therapist and an ally, she herself said his story is "not consistent" with her other transgendered clients. We have refused any medical treatments or calling him by a different pronoun or name (which he has changed 5 times), but have let him experiment with feminine clothes/makeup at home. He usually tries something new then discards after a few weeks (because it's not making him happy!). Lately, he's been wearing a stuffed bra to school. It hasn't been noticeable so far because its winter and he wears sweatshirts, but warmer weather is approaching and we are afraid he will be discovered and potentially bullied and/or ostracized than he already is. We feel that wearing feminine clothes/bra in public and the potential for negative reactions from his peer group will confound his capacity for the "cautious exploration." As he still has two more years of high school left to navigate safely, we're torn between letting him publicly explore reactions and putting our foot down. We've been walking a thin line. It's so difficult knowing what to do and there's not much help online.

Hello, Zoomo and welcome. I'm sorry to hear about all your son is dealing with. It seems the phenomenon with skyrocketing numbers of girls coming out transgender boys is making the news these days, but it seems there are many, many boys also coming out as trans despite not having shown any sort of feminine bent. You'll find solidarity here. Welcome.
Posted by Zoomo - 27-Feb-2020, 08:24 PM
Out of the blue, our 16 yo son told us he is transgender about 8 month ago. He has always struggled with social anxiety and depression, but has never shown any inclination that he was a "girl trapped in a boy body." He has been seeing a counselor regularly; even though she is an affirming therapist and an ally, she herself said his story is "not consistent" with her other transgendered clients. We have refused any medical treatments or calling him by a different pronoun or name (which he has changed 5 times), but have let him experiment with feminine clothes/makeup at home. He usually tries something new then discards after a few weeks (because it's not making him happy!). Lately, he's been wearing a stuffed bra to school. It hasn't been noticeable so far because its winter and he wears sweatshirts, but warmer weather is approaching and we are afraid he will be discovered and potentially bullied and/or ostracized than he already is. We feel that wearing feminine clothes/bra in public and the potential for negative reactions from his peer group will confound his capacity for the "cautious exploration." As he still has two more years of high school left to navigate safely, we're torn between letting him publicly explore reactions and putting our foot down. We've been walking a thin line. It's so difficult knowing what to do and there's not much help online.
Posted by Mtnmum777 - 27-Feb-2020, 01:26 PM
Hello,
Wondering if I can join this group?
My son, who's in his early 20's, is dealing with gender dyphoria and we believe he's on female hormones, although he has not told us yet.

Thank you!
Posted by - 19-Jan-2020, 08:58 PM
Hi, This is all a new world to me, my adult son has recently told the family he was transgender, Has been taking hormones for months. He has had depression and anxiety for years and this has escalated in the last few weeks. Since being on the hormones he is very emotional. As a family we have surrounded his with love but would love to have back the son we knew. His therapist and gender clinic are encouraging him sadly and I think his immersion in the trans online community was his downfall. I do feel it is a cult that has taken our boy and would love to know how to get him out of it.
Posted by Marge Bouvier Simpson - 28-Dec-2019, 08:17 PM
(28-Dec-2019, 03:43 PM)Kristina Wrote: Hello, I’m new to this news. In complete shock to say the least. 12 year old daughter hates her body and being female, but not sure that she wants to be a boy.  Wants to cut her hair to begin with.  I took her to a counselor and instead of telling her that she is beautiful the way she is, she told he go forward with the hair.  Is there any success stories out there? Could it be just a phase? My daughter thinks she is so ugly that there is no chance to become a beautiful woman. Already taking medication for depression and anxiety
I need all kinds of hope now,

Hi Kristina.

Your membership has been activated. I encourage you to introduce yourself and/or tell your story in the members-only area of the forum, as our members don't always find the posts in this area.

I'm thinking you do have a good chance at turning this around because your daughter is so young and it sounds as though she is testing the waters rather than diving in, so to speak. You'll find lots of information and advice in the members-only area. I hope you'll join us there.

Welcome.
Posted by Kristina - 28-Dec-2019, 03:43 PM
Hello, I’m new to this news. In complete shock to say the least. 12 year old daughter hates her body and being female, but not sure that she wants to be a boy. Wants to cut her hair to begin with. I took her to a counselor and instead of telling her that she is beautiful the way she is, she told he go forward with the hair. Is there any success stories out there? Could it be just a phase? My daughter thinks she is so ugly that there is no chance to become a beautiful woman. Already taking medication for depression and anxiety
I need all kinds of hope now,
Posted by Marge Bouvier Simpson - 30-Nov-2019, 10:26 PM
(30-Nov-2019, 09:08 PM)Worriedmammy Wrote: New member here, so glad I have found this forum!

Our son came out to us as trans 2 years as (at 19) and has now now made his appointment with planned parenthood in January to start HRT. This is all getting a bit too real & we are worried sick. Reading on here and on 4thWavenow (that website has been amazing) I now realise that this trans movement is all akin to a cult and everything he says is identical to everything I’ve read on Reddit/Tumblr etc.

He’s an adult and legally there’s nothing we can do to stop this but it’s heartbreaking to watch someone with mental health issues (BDP/depression/unresolved childhood trauma) focus on this as a miracle cure for all his issues.
Hello, Worriedmammy. 

I'm so sorry to hear about your son's upcoming appointment. You are absolutely correct, because he is an adult and because the movement has such a stronghold on society at the moment, there is really not anything parents can do. It is especially heartbreaking when young people who are so vulnerable due to mental health issues and trauma see transitioning as the solution to their problems, like you say, a cure-all. This is how transitioning is presented to our vulnerable kids and they believe it, while those of us who are older and wiser and/or perhaps do not have the mental health or autism spectrum issues see red flags going up all over the place.

It's simply criminal IMHO and I'm so sorry you're having to deal with it. You'll find lots of support and like-minded parents here. Welcome. You are not alone.
Posted by Wonderhearts - 30-Nov-2019, 09:08 PM
New member here, so glad I have found this forum!

Our son came out to us as trans 2 years as (at 19) and has now now made his appointment with planned parenthood in January to start HRT. This is all getting a bit too real & we are worried sick. Reading on here and on 4thWavenow (that website has been amazing) I now realise that this trans movement is all akin to a cult and everything he says is identical to everything I’ve read on Reddit/Tumblr etc.

He’s an adult and legally there’s nothing we can do to stop this but it’s heartbreaking to watch someone with mental health issues (BDP/depression/unresolved childhood trauma) focus on this as a miracle cure for all his issues.
Posted by Marge Bouvier Simpson - 29-Nov-2019, 04:32 PM
(29-Nov-2019, 02:29 PM)justkym Wrote: My daughter is 22.  She came out as trans two years ago, and instead of fighting for her like I should have, I helped her move to another state because I couldn't stand having her around anymore.  Of course, only I knew why I was sending her away; everyone else, including her, thought I was helping her better her career.  Over the past two years, we have fought, gone to therapy together, and had some good times.  However, I just don't believe this is really who she is.  She went from being a beautiful, vibrant, ambitious young woman to being an ugly, overweight, withdrawn nondescript person.  I find myself repulsed by this person who stole my daughter, and then I am repulsed by myself for hating her.  I am at a total loss and don't know what to do.  Should I stop visiting because it makes me so miserable? Should I visit more often and continue to hammer at this bent nail?  Or should I just accept the situation as irreparable and try to move on? I just don't know how to overcome this feeling of loathing I have for both my daughter and myself.
Hi justkym. Welcome. I'm sorry to hear about your situation. Please don't be too hard on yourself -- parents are in a no-win situation, especially with the rest of society cheering this on. We feel like we are crazy when we are the only ones who do NOT want to cheerlead such destructive behavior and dangerous medical treatment, but then we are pressured with false suicide statistics and woke, feel-good rhetoric to cave in and affirm, which is also torturous. Your account has been activated. I can move your post to the members-only area of you like. Our members are more likely to see your post there, and moving it will also take it out of the public's view. Just let me know.
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