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Thread Review (Newest First)
Posted by thorn4115 - 29-Sep-2020, 11:52 PM
(28-Nov-2017, 01:08 AM)southofgravity Wrote: Feel guilty for hoping this board was updating like a ticker tape.  Thousands and thousands of threads - too many to count - but still happy to read I'm not alone.

Admittedly, after I didn't sleep for a month prying - taking over transportation duties to remove influences - installing keyboard capture software - searching texts every night at 3am - I just went into a funk - a bit of a depression.  Found online the "dismal tide" was high, and there weren't any obvious voices.  Was I wrong?

Sure, it sounds crazy that 90% of the voices are screaming at those of us defining gender as evil.  Telling us we are outdated, yet telling our kids if they don't conform to the very gender norms we are hated for observing, then most likely their "identity is broken" - so they need to hate themselves and their body and mutilate it and take chemicals ASAP.  Why doesn't that sound like insanity anymore??

Seriously, why has HATE become disguised as "acceptance" - and how can we stop it?  How did a 19 year old introvert get convinced overnight that "accepting" herself for what she is - has only one alternative "death" - which apparently is the equivalent of a parent's ignorance and lack of understanding.  Yet, when I explain to her in clear, concise terms I love her "exactly" the way she is and she should celebrate her differences - I'm suddenly categorized - as she has been TAUGHT by this movement all of what is the equivalent of the "apologist tricks" of the un-accepting parent.  There is not a single 'logical', 'factual' argument that can be made...and yes...I found the videos on YouTube she 'started' with...and they are equally confused teens...'teaching' others [not out of hate, but simply out of a need for comradery] exactly what to say...what every parental response means...and very subtle in their revelation that "suicide" is a powerful tool.

...one day I spoke aloud about it to a single friend.  It wasn't easy.  His eyes got moist and he got antsy.  I thought he'd confided in my all his son's issues, but suddenly he felt relieved to tell me about a "3 months of shear Hell" where his introverted, socially awkward son - found the SAME influence very suddenly and quickly and it moved fast - but they got him here and there and moved quickly.  My friend calls the stress of it like "sitting with your back to something horrible, hoping it will disappear back into the darkness and not kill you" and I completely understand.   I also learned during that conversation it's a "dismal tide", parents afraid, scared to get kids in the 'wrong' counseling situation, in the wrong group, so afraid of tripping into the wrong influence...THARN.

   What is happening.  It's a question and a statement.
What is happening and when will it end?  I suspect when detransitioners begin to hire lawyers to sue the therapists that encouraged them  is when we will see a 360 turnabout.  The therapists that saw the kids as dollar signs will then change their minds.  Sounds terrible but I think that it just might happen
Posted by Marge Bouvier Simpson - 25-Sep-2020, 01:14 AM
Thanks, Jdmum, for welcoming LostNotCalm.

LostNotCalm, your account has been activated. As Jdmum did, I also encourage you to post your story in the members-only area, as most members don't visit this part of the site too often. I'm sorry to hear about all you and your daughter are dealing with. Jdmum is right, there are loads of us with similar stories. You are not alone.

I hope you'll find the site helpful.
Posted by Jdmum - 24-Sep-2020, 11:14 PM
(24-Sep-2020, 05:08 PM)LostNotCalm Wrote: Hi everyone, I’m glad I have found this website and to know that I’m not alone. It has been a difficult journey and one I can’t see an end. It turned my life and specially my daughters life, upside down. What was once north, now is south, east is now west.
In primary school, my daughter never had many friends. In fact, she had one friend. Teachers would make me aware that my daughter would spend her school breaks sitting alone. It broke my heart.
We moved house (I’m separated from her dad) and she started high school in a different town.
No other kids from primary will be at her new school, and she could start fresh, making new friends.
She has always been very girly, loved make up, dressing up, all things girly. She started making friends and I was over the moon! I thought moving town was the best thing we ever done! How wrong was I!
I discovered that her new friends were part of the LGBT community. Don’t get me wrong, it’s amazing kids are getting support they need! My son is gay and I’m proud of him! Everyday! But soon after, my daughter decided she wanted to be a boy! I thought it was just a phase and everything will come to normal. Well, I’m here... If it would be something I knew it would come from her, if I could feel it in her bones, I would have done something about it a long time ago. But I trust my gut feeling, and I know that my daughter is following the steps of the ones that gave her attention. Who dedicated time to her. Who became her friends. She cut her her short, her name in school was changed. Now she wants to start hormone therapy. And now it’s very real to me! I’m scared, don’t know who to turn for help. She is very quiet, she has social anxiety, no friends outside the LGBT community and spends her life in front of the computer talking solely with other LGBT members. I want to talk to her but she’s really closed. She has a lot of social issues, no social skills whatsoever, except when she’s on the computer, where she comes to life! She talks forever, laughs, etc. For anyone else, she nods or waves. No words, no nothing. She doesn’t eat in front of anyone. She’s a follower of anything or anyone that gives her attention. I want her to go to therapy, to speak with someone about all it’s going on, but I’m scared she would leave the session with hormones without much thought. She would say that she always wanted to be a boy when I know for a fact that was exactly the opposite. The therapist wouldn’t know as he/she never met her. Not before, not now. It’s not that I don’t accept, transgender, gay, binary, etc. But I know this is a phase and I can’t let her ruin her future. She has 0 confidence in her self. She has never left the house to meet a friends. Outside the community, she has no one. I want to help her to discover her true self, to be confident and happy. I don’t know where to start, what to say to show her that I love her no matter what. But I can’t allow her to rush into transitioning without exhausting any other possibilities. If someone could share a word, I would very much appreciated it. I’m lost, I’m so lost, where I need to be strong.
Thank you for your time!
Lostnotcalm

Admin will approve your request to join soon.  You will find, unfortunately, loads of other people going through this.  You are not alone.  You will find separate sections to post in but please re-post what you’ve posted & read as much as you can within the forum.

Take care x
Posted by LostNotCalm - 24-Sep-2020, 05:08 PM
Hi everyone, I’m glad I have found this website and to know that I’m not alone. It has been a difficult journey and one I can’t see an end. It turned my life and specially my daughters life, upside down. What was once north, now is south, east is now west.
In primary school, my daughter never had many friends. In fact, she had one friend. Teachers would make me aware that my daughter would spend her school breaks sitting alone. It broke my heart.
We moved house (I’m separated from her dad) and she started high school in a different town.
No other kids from primary will be at her new school, and she could start fresh, making new friends.
She has always been very girly, loved make up, dressing up, all things girly. She started making friends and I was over the moon! I thought moving town was the best thing we ever done! How wrong was I!
I discovered that her new friends were part of the LGBT community. Don’t get me wrong, it’s amazing kids are getting support they need! My son is gay and I’m proud of him! Everyday! But soon after, my daughter decided she wanted to be a boy! I thought it was just a phase and everything will come to normal. Well, I’m here... If it would be something I knew it would come from her, if I could feel it in her bones, I would have done something about it a long time ago. But I trust my gut feeling, and I know that my daughter is following the steps of the ones that gave her attention. Who dedicated time to her. Who became her friends. She cut her her short, her name in school was changed. Now she wants to start hormone therapy. And now it’s very real to me! I’m scared, don’t know who to turn for help. She is very quiet, she has social anxiety, no friends outside the LGBT community and spends her life in front of the computer talking solely with other LGBT members. I want to talk to her but she’s really closed. She has a lot of social issues, no social skills whatsoever, except when she’s on the computer, where she comes to life! She talks forever, laughs, etc. For anyone else, she nods or waves. No words, no nothing. She doesn’t eat in front of anyone. She’s a follower of anything or anyone that gives her attention. I want her to go to therapy, to speak with someone about all it’s going on, but I’m scared she would leave the session with hormones without much thought. She would say that she always wanted to be a boy when I know for a fact that was exactly the opposite. The therapist wouldn’t know as he/she never met her. Not before, not now. It’s not that I don’t accept, transgender, gay, binary, etc. But I know this is a phase and I can’t let her ruin her future. She has 0 confidence in her self. She has never left the house to meet a friends. Outside the community, she has no one. I want to help her to discover her true self, to be confident and happy. I don’t know where to start, what to say to show her that I love her no matter what. But I can’t allow her to rush into transitioning without exhausting any other possibilities. If someone could share a word, I would very much appreciated it. I’m lost, I’m so lost, where I need to be strong.
Thank you for your time!
Posted by Marge Bouvier Simpson - 16-Aug-2020, 01:27 AM
(14-Aug-2020, 11:24 PM)jayson Wrote: Hi, I'm looking for a talk therapist versed in Rapid Onset Gender Dysphoria for my 19 year old daughter. We live in the Portland, Maine area and I imagine most therapists these days are turning to online sessions, so I thought I'd start there. Any recommendations are greatly appreciated!
Thank you!

Hi Jayson and welcome.

Your account has been activated. I encourage you to ask your question in the members-only area, as this portion of the forum here doesn't get much traffic from members.

I hope you'll find the forum useful. Welcome, and please know you are not alone.
Posted by jayson - 14-Aug-2020, 11:24 PM
Hi, I'm looking for a talk therapist versed in Rapid Onset Gender Dysphoria for my 19 year old daughter. We live in the Portland, Maine area and I imagine most therapists these days are turning to online sessions, so I thought I'd start there. Any recommendations are greatly appreciated!
Thank you!
Posted by Marge Bouvier Simpson - 14-Jul-2020, 10:50 PM
Welcome new members Mia and Annette.

If you feel comfortable doing so, I suggest you tell your stories in the members-only area as you will likely get a more responses there. This part of the forum doesn't get much readership.
Posted by annette - 14-Jul-2020, 07:43 PM
Hi I am the mom of a 26 year old woman who recently decided she is a trans man. I know this is older, which makes it seem like it could be real for her but this just isn't her. She has completely cut us off. I feel like we have lost her forever and honestly she has been so awful for the last several months that I think our relationship is permanently damaged. We think she will never contact us or speak to us again. How did this happen?
Posted by Mia - 14-Jul-2020, 11:21 AM
(14-Jul-2020, 05:33 AM)Marge Bouvier Simpson Wrote: Hello, Mia, and welcome. Your account has been activated.

I'm so sorry to hear about your daughter having to deal with detransition but glad she is moving into acceptance of herself. You may be the first parent of a detransitioner (rather than a desister) that we've had join, although there are many members who prefer to read rather than post, so it is hard to say with any accuracy how many other parents of detransitioners are here.

Regardless, I am certain our members would welcome you and would love to hear your and your daughter's stories, and learn from your experience. Your experiences and your story will be valuable to the board if you feel comfortable sharing them at some point.

Hello Marge.  Thank you very much for the welcome. I will gladly share my story and answer any questions anyone has on where we’ve been and where I hope we are headed.  I want to do what I can especially if I can help others in any way I can.
Posted by Marge Bouvier Simpson - 14-Jul-2020, 05:33 AM
Hello, Mia, and welcome. Your account has been activated.

I'm so sorry to hear about your daughter having to deal with detransition but glad she is moving into acceptance of herself. You may be the first parent of a detransitioner (rather than a desister) that we've had join, although there are many members who prefer to read rather than post, so it is hard to say with any accuracy how many other parents of detransitioners are here.

Regardless, I am certain our members would welcome you and would love to hear your and your daughter's stories, and learn from your experience. Your experiences and your story will be valuable to the board if you feel comfortable sharing them at some point.
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