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Thread Review (Newest First)
Posted by greentick - 10-Feb-2020, 03:00 AM
Hi, mother of a 14yo girl who started identifying as trans shortly after 12th birthday. The last couple of years have been torture. Looking forward to talking more in the member's area.
Posted by Aack - 29-Jan-2020, 02:48 AM
Thank you all so much for providing a way to connect! My daughter at 14 said she was "gender fluid". We did the watchful waiting approach. She seemed to be just fine after a little while. Even told me "remember when I said I was gender fluid? Well, I'm not anymore". I was relieved. Then at 20 and a couple of months she broke down again, quit her newish job (said it became too stressful and she was having pain and such--which turned out to be psychosomatic), chopped her hair (I don't care if she has short hair) dyed it blue (I don't care if she has blue hair), got a bunch of facial piercings (meh, not my thing and certainly doesn't help her in life, but ultimately, I don't care).  In an emotional moment she cried "I think I'm transgender!"

I'm stunned.

So much more I could say. So many regrets about how we did things or didn't do things. I've read so very much I am convinced she is just a part of the transgender trend among young girls. Specifically, she tends to fixate on gay boys, as they are her primary subject in her sketch book and other art (Tumbler can go f**k itself!)

More than anything, I am looking for a therapist/psychologist in Utah who is NOT affirming. Her current therapist is. I give him credit for helping her find some self acceptance and feeling like she now wants to live. But I also think it will be short lived and it's only a matter of time before that fades and she looks for the next stage to make herself "happy" (hormones and top surgery which we have told her we will NOT pay for under any circumstance) I think she needs to spend a lot of time unpacking her experiences and thoughts about herself.

Again, looking for a NON affirming therapist/psychologist/psychiatrist in Utah--Utah Valley would be ideal.
Posted by Marge Bouvier Simpson - 23-Jan-2020, 09:53 PM
(23-Jan-2020, 09:35 PM)Clasher2020 Wrote: I’m new on here, and as a father, I’m at my wits end having been told by my wife that our 18 year old, over 6ft tall son feels he’d rather be a girl, has kinda felt like this since he was 10 or 11 and has been “pretty sure” since the Summer that this was what he wanted.

I’m heartbroken & distraught, he doesn’t know that I know and at the minute, it’s wrong. I just can’t accept it.


Hi Clasher2020, sorry to hear about what your family is going through.

Your account is activated if you would like to take your thoughts to the members-only area.

Welcome and best wishes.
Posted by Clasher2020 - 23-Jan-2020, 09:35 PM
I’m new on here, and as a father, I’m at my wits end having been told by my wife that our 18 year old, over 6ft tall son feels he’d rather be a girl, has kinda felt like this since he was 10 or 11 and has been “pretty sure” since the Summer that this was what he wanted.

I’m heartbroken & distraught, he doesn’t know that I know and at the minute, it’s wrong. I just can’t accept it.

Posted by Marge Bouvier Simpson - 31-Dec-2019, 02:36 AM
Hello, guest. Your story sounds very familiar to so many others. The YA "gay boy" anime and fiction seems to lure girls into wishing they were gay boys, too. Reluctance to grow up and early physical maturation are things we see again and again, also.

If you haven't already, I urge you to join our members-only forum where you'll find much more information and support. To join, go to the black bar up at the top portion of the screen and click on "register." Choose a username and enter your email. Once a new member has registered, their account must then be activated manually by a moderator. This can take anywhere from an hour or two to a day, depending upon moderator availability, so you may have to be patient while waiting on that final activation.

I hope you'll join us.
Posted by - 29-Dec-2019, 06:55 AM
My daughter is 13 and has recently identified as a trans gay. She had previously told me she was gender fluid and bisexual and I had not really reacted figuring it was just a stage of her finding herself. I pretty much dismissed the gender fluid as growing up she was always incredibly drawn to "girl" activities. It was her older sister was the tomboy as a kid - she hated soccer but loved dance, dress-up, and barbies. As far as bisexual we weren't really reactive because we didn't really care. Now she has now socially transitioned herself at school to a boy's name and male pronouns. We won't use them at home and continue to call her by her given name. She is fascinated with novels and stories about gay boys falling in love - lovely YA books that normally I wouldn't have a problem with but they seem to be feeding into this fantasy of hers that she is a gay boy. Like others have identified, my daughter can be socially awkward at times, and she had a really hard grade 6 year at a new school, but she has quite a few friends now. However, many of them all attend the GSA at her school. She however has always been reluctant to grow up - unfortunately she started to menstruate and mature early. I think part of wanting to be a boy is wanting to be a kid. She doesn't talk about becoming a trans man - and actually seems uncomfortable when I talk about that idea, just says she is a trans boy.
Posted by Marge Bouvier Simpson - 26-Dec-2019, 07:54 PM
Hello and welcome, lost and confused.

I'm sorry to hear your daughter is dealing with gender dysphoria but glad to hear she is very open and honest with you. Your account has been activated. You may wish to repost your therapist request in the members-only area, as it is more likely to be seen there are therefore more likely to get responses.
Posted by lost and confused - 26-Dec-2019, 04:53 PM
Hello  all.  
I am new to the forum.  I have a daughter (21) who is going through the "im in the wrong body" phase of gender dysphoria.  Thankfully she 
is very open and honest with me.  In my persuit of understanding all of this I am seeking a therapist or psychologist in New Jersey USA.  Any help is much appreciated!  Thank you in advance
Posted by Marge Bouvier Simpson - 20-Dec-2019, 04:26 PM
Hello Swissmom,

No worries about your English, which is excellent, by the way! Welcome to the forum. Your account has been activated and you now have access to the members-only forums.
Posted by Swissmom - 20-Dec-2019, 01:25 PM
Hi.. English is not my native language, please excuse any writing mistakes.
I'm here because I have a daughter, 14, who just a few week ago told me she was wondering if she's transgender or not. She happend to fall in love with a gay teen writer on Whatpad. Maybe that's why she spent much time on reading and researching about this topic.
Is there another SWISS Mom out there I could share with?
Thanks.. Good (but also sad) to know we are not alone.
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