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Posted by Marge Bouvier Simpson - 08-Jan-2024, 11:59 PM
(08-Jan-2024, 10:44 PM)vod7 Wrote: I just left a big brain dump in the About thread which sheds a little light on my particular situation. Thanks for making and maintaining this board, sounds like we're all desperate for some sanity.

Your account has been activated. Thanks for joining.
Posted by vod7 - 08-Jan-2024, 10:44 PM
I just left a big brain dump in the About thread which sheds a little light on my particular situation. Thanks for making and maintaining this board, sounds like we're all desperate for some sanity.
Posted by Heather - 23-Dec-2023, 05:26 PM
(23-Dec-2023, 04:39 PM)lostinthis Wrote: Hi, just joined and only see the public board. How do I apply for the private membership board?

Dear lostinthis, 
I've just OK'd your account. I hope reading about the experiences and reflections of the other forum members helps.
Best!
Heather
Posted by lostinthis - 23-Dec-2023, 04:39 PM
Hi, just joined and only see the public board. How do I apply for the private membership board?
Posted by Marge Bouvier Simpson - 06-Dec-2023, 06:00 PM
(06-Dec-2023, 01:13 PM)anker Wrote: Hi everyone... wasn't sure where to post but wanted to introduce myself. I have a 16yo daughter saying she wants to be a boy. She was so outgoing and happy until this all started last year. Honestly I'm just devastated... hoping to talk to people in a similar situation and find some support. It's just all so overwhelming.

Hi, anker, and welcome to the board. Your account is activated. You've come to the right place if you're looking for parents who understand what you're going through. In the members-only area you'll find support as well as helpful information. Feel free to ask questions, post about your hopes and fears, vent, etc. You are not alone.
Posted by anker - 06-Dec-2023, 01:13 PM
Hi everyone... wasn't sure where to post but wanted to introduce myself. I have a 16yo daughter saying she wants to be a boy. She was so outgoing and happy until this all started last year. Honestly I'm just devastated... hoping to talk to people in a similar situation and find some support. It's just all so overwhelming.
Posted by Heather - 30-Nov-2023, 02:23 PM
(29-Nov-2023, 02:05 AM)savewomenssportsfromtrans Wrote: hello. I'm new to this message board and hoping to be added to the private section so I can post more about my situation. My female child was stolen by the trans cult, and now there are trans "girls" on my other female daughter's soccer team. I am so devastated and depressed and need support. I feel like I failed.

Dear savewomenssportsfromtrans, you should not give in to the temptation to blame yourself. Yes, a little introspection on what you did or said in response to your child's behaviors is useful, if it's just to take stock of whatever mistakes you made so that you can do something different in the future, is productive; but do not accept the guilt. We are living in exceptionally crazy times, and all of us here just were in the wrong place at the wrong time and we got caught up in the gears of a very large machine, and we could not have seen it coming.

It's ironic, but your greatest vulnerability is also your superpower: the fact is that you love your children and all those trans-indoctrinated "be kind" people who have been using them to feed their own egos definitely do not, is your superpower.

You are in the right place. You can read and learn from the experiences of other parents in this forum. Compare and Contrast your own experiences with their stories and it will help you see your own situation more clearly, help you figure out a strategy for yourself going forward. You're not alone, and remembering that is a way to stay sane in the meantime. Please believe that you possess hidden reserves in you that you can use to get through this. Hang in there.
Posted by Marge Bouvier Simpson - 30-Nov-2023, 01:46 AM
(29-Nov-2023, 02:05 AM)savewomenssportsfromtrans Wrote: hello. I'm new to this message board and hoping to be added to the private section so I can post more about my situation. My female child was stolen by the trans cult, and now there are trans "girls" on my other female daughter's soccer team. I am so devastated and depressed and need support. I feel like I failed.

I'm so sad for you that you've been hit by a double trans whammy. The insanity is so pervasive. You haven't failed. Ufortunately our kids are bombarded with trans messaging everywhere they go. It is impossible for them to avoid.

Your account has been activated. Welcome to the forum.
Posted by savewomenssportsfromtrans - 29-Nov-2023, 02:05 AM
hello. I'm new to this message board and hoping to be added to the private section so I can post more about my situation. My female child was stolen by the trans cult, and now there are trans "girls" on my other female daughter's soccer team. I am so devastated and depressed and need support. I feel like I failed.
Posted by Heather - 08-Nov-2023, 01:39 PM
(07-Nov-2023, 02:45 PM)antfrog Wrote: Hi, I'm the mom of a 15yo daughter who has always been a little different, we thought she was just a tomboy and we always supported her being whoever she wanted to be. But now she is starting to say things like that she thinks she might really be a boy, and her therapist is telling us we should support her in this. I just can't get behind this ... I am looking for resources on finding better therapists for her. Even in our relatively conservative community it's hard to find anyone. I am really new to all this and just looking for help from other parents who've been through something similar. Thanks.

Hi, antfrog! Welcome to this forum. You are in good company and the good news is that there have been so many resources developed for parents in our position to gain some clarity and a sense of not being completely isolated and questioning one's own sanity in this funhouse mirror of a culture we find ourselves in.

Before shopping for a therapist for your child, you might want to start with listening to some episodes of Gender: A Wider Lens, hosted by two experienced (and sane) therapists who work with youth, Stella O'Malley and Sasha Ayad

I think you need to be clear on what you think is happening and why before you go looking for solutions. I think this gender identity stuff seizing the minds of our kids is particularly difficult for us mothers, because we are more likely to start out reeling with guilt and a suspicion that the reason our children seem to want to destroy themselves and transform into someone else MUST have something to do with our incompetence in parenting them. There are some horrible people out there posing as healers, who are merely using the profession of therapy to fill whatever emotional holes they have in their own lives by manipulating vulnerable people into cramming themselves into boxes to serve as evidence for some theory about what humans are. A parent frantic to save his or her child from a delusion is one of the most vulnerable people around . . . and we are irresistible targets for gurus, pseudoscientists, and snake oil peddlers. 

So when shopping for a therapist, remember this: Stella and Sasha warn us that bad therapy is worse than no therapy at all.

From what I've heard them say in the past, I think they might agree with my crack at defining what good therapy is: I think good therapy helps an individual explore what inside their heads might be preventing them from responding with resilience to the realities of being human, living among other humans, in often painful and unfair situations. 

Telling a child they've got something called a "gender identity" stuck in "the wrong body," which they may need to change with drugs and surgery . . . well, I don't think we're crazy to see any therapist encouraging our kids to believe that story as remarkably cruel and dangerous. Of course, once a child has this ideology lodged like a fishhook in his or her mind, it takes some finessing to remove it . . . but you must insist that any therapist you give access to your child explain very clearly and concretely what they mean when they tell you that you must be "supportive," and "affirming" and "accepting." Don't let them muddle you with doublespeak and euphemisms.

Get clear on what is real and what is sophistry.

How much time you have and how you are best able to consume information will determine which of the resources the Genspect site offers you will be useful to you right now. Also there are also a great many other organizations/support groups, etc., you can eventually discover from that starting point.

https://genspect.org/resources/

As far as this forum goes, there are years' worth of postings from parents in situations similar to yours . . . and you may find comfort and ideas from what they share here. Also, there are many generous souls here who will offer you advice and opinions if you ask for it.

In the meantime, Hang in there Mom.  Your child needs you, even while she is doing her best to push you away. As you probably already know, you will need to perform like a Saint to avoid feeling and expressing anger towards her .  . . and you will need to forgive yourself from time to time when you make a mistake here and there as you deal with her. Be clear about what the mistake was, and try to use it to get better at dealing with this nightmare. But don't let that demoralize you into allowing anyone to tell you that you are not the foremost expert when it comes to knowing and loving your child.
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