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Thread Review (Newest First)
Posted by Marge Bouvier Simpson - 02-Jun-2022, 11:23 PM
(02-Jun-2022, 06:13 PM)DadandMom Wrote: Mom and Dad (really just Dad) just joined.  

2 nights ago our 17 yr old daughter wants to be a boy.  While shocked, we probably took the cues not strong enough.  (baggy clothing, cutting her hair off,  being highly ingrained in the LGBTQ movement.)    

The bad news.  She has has already come out with her friends over a year ago.  We are just catching up.   She has done all of the research, etc, and has made up her mind 90% (her words)

The good news is she has a new boyfriend, (who is gay apparently?)   It is the first real relationship she has had.  She is also beautiful (when she want to be) as a girl.  Meaning, and I dont know how to say this PC, so i apologize,   skinny, nice "proportions" beautiful face, etc, etc.  She is also a straight A student from a typical household.  Loving family with 3 kids, all close in age.  and she has friends.

I guess the reason why we are skeptical is because of her actions.  Dresses up with makeup, wears crop tops. puts in contacts.  All when she is going out with friends and wants to be noticed.  (Especially her boyfriend) who we have met.  Also she like to do girl stuff.  (Again, i know this isn't PC and don't want to gender assign)  sews, paints nails, etc, etc.  She doesn't do anything that you would expect from a boy.  

There is not a lot of resources out there that is not slanted.    I know the first step is to talk to her plainly and be supportive.  (If she really is trans, then fine, but all of the evidence and actions just don't jive)

The second step is to find a professional that she, us, and the rest of the family can talk to.  (We dont even know where to start)  What i am worried about is her having surgery and hormone treatments with out vetting 110%.  

It is going to be a process, for Mom and Dad, just aren't going to say ok without questioning.  (While being respectful and supportive)

Welcome.

I'm sorry yet another parent is having to deal with yet another kid who has come out as trans, suddenly and out of the blue.

It does sound like you are off to a good start as far as understanding what you are dealing with. You are correct that most resources are slanted toward the "affirmation only" approach. There's a podcast called "Gender: A Wider Lens" that offers lots of great information. It is often recommended as a place to start for parents in your position.

Be cautious when hiring a therapist or other professional. Most will immediately affirm. It can be very difficult to find one that is neutral. Some will even claim to be neutral when speaking with parents but will then secretly affirm when working with your child.

Your account has been activated. You'll find support from like-minded parents in the members-only area. Again, welcome. Best wishes.
Posted by DadandMom - 02-Jun-2022, 06:13 PM
Mom and Dad (really just Dad) just joined.  

2 nights ago our 17 yr old daughter wants to be a boy.  While shocked, we probably took the cues not strong enough.  (baggy clothing, cutting her hair off,  being highly ingrained in the LGBTQ movement.)    

The bad news.  She has has already come out with her friends over a year ago.  We are just catching up.   She has done all of the research, etc, and has made up her mind 90% (her words)

The good news is she has a new boyfriend, (who is gay apparently?)   It is the first real relationship she has had.  She is also beautiful (when she want to be) as a girl.  Meaning, and I dont know how to say this PC, so i apologize,   skinny, nice "proportions" beautiful face, etc, etc.  She is also a straight A student from a typical household.  Loving family with 3 kids, all close in age.  and she has friends.

I guess the reason why we are skeptical is because of her actions.  Dresses up with makeup, wears crop tops. puts in contacts.  All when she is going out with friends and wants to be noticed.  (Especially her boyfriend) who we have met.  Also she like to do girl stuff.  (Again, i know this isn't PC and don't want to gender assign)  sews, paints nails, etc, etc.  She doesn't do anything that you would expect from a boy.  

There is not a lot of resources out there that is not slanted.    I know the first step is to talk to her plainly and be supportive.  (If she really is trans, then fine, but all of the evidence and actions just don't jive)

The second step is to find a professional that she, us, and the rest of the family can talk to.  (We dont even know where to start)  What i am worried about is her having surgery and hormone treatments with out vetting 110%.  

It is going to be a process, for Mom and Dad, just aren't going to say ok without questioning.  (While being respectful and supportive)
Posted by PinkSweater - 19-Apr-2022, 01:24 AM
Hello! Just letting you know I registered and am awaiting mod approval. Thank you very much.
Posted by Marge Bouvier Simpson - 14-Apr-2022, 04:02 AM
(13-Apr-2022, 09:33 PM)Kikisummers1 Wrote: Hello, waiting to be activated to the full member board.  Thank you!

Thanks for your patience, and welcome to the board. Your account has been activated.
Posted by Kikisummers1 - 13-Apr-2022, 09:33 PM
Hello, waiting to be activated to the full member board. Thank you!
Posted by Marge Bouvier Simpson - 05-Apr-2022, 06:03 PM
(05-Apr-2022, 02:50 PM)Tonia234 Wrote: Hi,
I registered and validated my email but can only see the public boards. How do I get full access?

Thank you in advance!

Hi, Tonia234. Welcome to the board.

All accounts are activated manually by a moderator for access to the members-only board.

Thanks for your patience. Your account has been activated.
Posted by Tonia234 - 05-Apr-2022, 02:50 PM
Hi,
I registered and validated my email but can only see the public boards. How do I get full access?

Thank you in advance!
Posted by Marge Bouvier Simpson - 28-Feb-2022, 03:58 PM
(28-Feb-2022, 10:09 AM)MartinH Wrote: I'm trying to register, but the form is rejecting my valid email address - can you tell me how to get past this? It's an email at live.co.uk which is legit.

Hi, Martin.

Could it be that you already registered using the screenname jon (all lowercase letters)? Someone registered in December with a similar IP address and a similar live.co.uk email address as your MartinH screenname. Try signing in with your usual email address, using the username jon, then let me know. Once we figure it out, I can delete this reply so that this info does not remain on the web.
Just let me know.
Posted by MartinH - 28-Feb-2022, 10:09 AM
I'm trying to register, but the form is rejecting my valid email address - can you tell me how to get past this? It's an email at live.co.uk which is legit.
Posted by Marge Bouvier Simpson - 25-Feb-2022, 04:03 PM
(25-Feb-2022, 08:44 AM)Emz Wrote:
(12-Oct-2017, 10:44 PM)admin Wrote: I apologise if I am being dim but I cannot see any link to click on in the info below in order to register.


Our Bulletin Board is run for parents and families by parents and families who share the experience of coping with a child, teenager or young adult who believes she or he is transgender. 

Anyone in that situation is welcome to join us. But first:

Some points about confidentiality:

The board was set up as a place for us to discuss our stories, issues and problems in a respectful and non-judgemental space. However, we have no way to verify the identity of members. 

We Cannot Guarantee Confidentiality.

Therefore, we cannot guarantee that everyone on the board will be there in good faith. It is probably safe to operate under the assumption that the forum is being watched by those who would wish us ill. 

Choose an anonymous user name, don't reveal identifying details about yourself, and use appropriate caution when interacting with others on the forum. 

The system requires a valid email address as part of the registration process. This email is stored in case you forget your password, but is not visible to other members unless you explicitly choose to make it visible.

The system logs all personal messages and emails sent from the board.  These are not visible to other members, but can be seen by the moderators and may be examined if you are suspected of abusive behaviour. The moderators may examine the message logs to check that personal messages are not being abused. The moderators have not wish to police what people think or say, but will try protect the members from abuse and take whatever steps they feel are needed.

What's on the board stays on the board.

We ask you to respect the privacy and confidentiality of other members of the board.
 
By registering on this discussion system you agree that you will not disclose, share, download or copy any information or text posted on the discussion system by other users without their explicit permission. You will not describe, discuss or report information about the system, users or material that they have posted. 

Any information you provide on these forums will not be disclosed to any third party without your complete consent, although the staff cannot be held liable for any hacking attempt in which your data is compromised, or for the behaviour of other members of the board.

By continuing with the sign up process you agree to the above rules and any others that the Administrator specifies.

If you wish to join us, you can click the registration link above. After you have filled in and submitted your details, you will receive an email. If you follow the instructions in the email, your membership will then be held up until a moderator activates it.

Please be patient. Once you are registered, your account must be manually activated by a forum moderator. This can take anywhere from a few minutes to a day or two, depending upon the availability of our volunteer moderators.

After activation, you will be able to see the members-only sections of the board.

Hi, Emz. 

To join the board, look up toward the top of this page and you will see a black bar going across the page. In that black bar, toward the left-hand side, is the word "register." Click on "register" and follow the prompts to create an account. Once you have completed that process, your account must also be activated by a moderator. The activation process is manual, so you may have to wait a few hours (or more) depending upon moderator availability, before you can access the members-only area.

I hope this info is helpful. If you follow the directions above and are still having issues joining/registering, just post back here again and we will figure something out.

Best wishes, and welcome to the forum.
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