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Posted by Beaten down after 6 years - Yesterday, 09:34 AM
(15-Feb-2020, 12:23 PM)Solace Wrote: I am so happy that this forum exists!! My daughter has decided she is trans. Here in my city the medical “professionals” just push kids right through to the hormone shots and surgery. There is practically no psychological therapy at all. 

My daughter came out after wanting to commit suicide as she was molested by her paternal grand father. We had some mental health crisis workers come out, police were brought in and we pressed charges. We also had to move as we shared a semi detached. Shortly after her friends came out she did too. 

My husband supports her through guilt. His father molested our daughter so he is standing with her. 

I am alone. Our medical system gave her free testosterone, free needles and now a soon to happen free top surgery. 

My gut instinct is saying this is all because my daughter was sexually abused but I have no say as I have been locked out of the process. 

At least I am not alone

Thanks 


Solace

Solace, please watch this - she talks about sexual abuse as her (wrong) reason for wanting to transition.  Maybe your daughter will watch? 

https://youtu.be/SLewBHur61Q
Posted by Beaten down after 6 years - Yesterday, 09:24 AM
(15-Feb-2020, 12:23 PM)Solace Wrote: I am so happy that this forum exists!! My daughter has decided she is trans. Here in my city the medical “professionals” just push kids right through to the hormone shots and surgery. There is practically no psychological therapy at all. 

My daughter came out after wanting to commit suicide as she was molested by her paternal grand father. We had some mental health crisis workers come out, police were brought in and we pressed charges. We also had to move as we shared a semi detached. Shortly after her friends came out she did too. 

My husband supports her through guilt. His father molested our daughter so he is standing with her. 

I am alone. Our medical system gave her free testosterone, free needles and now a soon to happen free top surgery. 

My gut instinct is saying this is all because my daughter was sexually abused but I have no say as I have been locked out of the process. 

At least I am not alone

Thanks 


Solace

I am so sorry for all that your daughter - and you - have gone through so much. There is a lot of evidence to link trauma to the to transition.  I don't have it handy, but google it and also look up (and show her and your husband) the recent video from Tyler, a trans man who after 6 years has come to the realization that he wanted to be male as a way to feel safe after he was sexually violated.  I am not paraphrasing his story well - but go to Youtube and type "Tyler detransition" he is amazingly articulate.  Good luck. What you are going through must be so hard. If you cant find these resources DM me.
Posted by Marge Bouvier Simpson - 15-Feb-2020, 03:44 PM
Solace, I am so sorry.

Your membership has now been activated and yes, I would be happy to move your post to the members-only area for your privacy and to lessen the chances of family members who may recognize the situation from finding it.

There are a number of us with girls who have been sexually assaulted who respond by taking on a male identity for their own protection. Girls take on a male ID for a number of reasons but IMHO this one is a fairly common and especially tragic reason. When you think about it, it makes sense. In the past a girl might never have thought of this option, or if she did, she would dismiss the idea as impossible, but in today's world any girl can just claim to be a boy and her perfect plan to protect herself is affirmed and put in motion right away with no questions asked. I have been told more than once by various adult males that sexual assault "has nothing to do with" a kid wanting to be trans. Yeah, right.

Your daughter was betrayed by her abuser and the medical system's response is to betray her again in a much different but just as tragic way. I am so sorry.
Posted by dogmom - 15-Feb-2020, 03:20 PM
(15-Feb-2020, 12:23 PM)Solace Wrote: I am so happy that this forum exists!! My daughter has decided she is trans. Here in my city the medical “professionals” just push kids right through to the hormone shots and surgery. There is practically no psychological therapy at all. 

My daughter came out after wanting to commit suicide as she was molested by her paternal grand father. We had some mental health crisis workers come out, police were brought in and we pressed charges. We also had to move as we shared a semi detached. Shortly after her friends came out she did too. 

My husband supports her through guilt. His father molested our daughter so he is standing with her. 

I am alone. Our medical system gave her free testosterone, free needles and now a soon to happen free top surgery. 

My gut instinct is saying this is all because my daughter was sexually abused but I have no say as I have been locked out of the process. 

At least I am not alone

Thanks 


Solace
Oh my god. I'm so sorry. I hope this post gets moved to the member board for privacy and support.
Posted by Solace - 15-Feb-2020, 12:23 PM
I am so happy that this forum exists!! My daughter has decided she is trans. Here in my city the medical “professionals” just push kids right through to the hormone shots and surgery. There is practically no psychological therapy at all. 

My daughter came out after wanting to commit suicide as she was molested by her paternal grand father. We had some mental health crisis workers come out, police were brought in and we pressed charges. We also had to move as we shared a semi detached. Shortly after her friends came out she did too. 

My husband supports her through guilt. His father molested our daughter so he is standing with her. 

I am alone. Our medical system gave her free testosterone, free needles and now a soon to happen free top surgery. 

My gut instinct is saying this is all because my daughter was sexually abused but I have no say as I have been locked out of the process. 

At least I am not alone

Thanks 


Solace
Posted by Rascal Tyson - 11-Feb-2020, 08:00 AM
Hi, I’m new to this forum.
Long story short, daughter who went through puberty joyfully, hit a road block socially, shiny new non binary friends and a head full of ideas off the internet, now wants to be a boy.

Some days are suckier than others. Today was a sucky day.
Posted by Moaneeca - 08-Feb-2020, 10:44 AM
(04-Feb-2020, 07:38 PM)Marge Bouvier Simpson Wrote: Hi Moanecca, welcome.

Sorry for the late reply. Your account has been activated. If you would like to take this discussion into the members-only area, you will be more likely to get responses from forum members. For some reason, members are not always notified of posts on this thread so often we don't even realize they are here. Also, many prefer to post in the members-only area. Hope to see you there.
Thank you Marge.
Posted by Marge Bouvier Simpson - 04-Feb-2020, 07:38 PM
Hi Moanecca, welcome.

Sorry for the late reply. Your account has been activated. If you would like to take this discussion into the members-only area, you will be more likely to get responses from forum members. For some reason, members are not always notified of posts on this thread so often we don't even realize they are here. Also, many prefer to post in the members-only area. Hope to see you there.
Posted by Moaneeca - 31-Jan-2020, 08:42 PM
Thank you for being here. My daughter (soon to turn 20) has been battling depression/anxiety for a couple of years ... since about 16 years old. She had a major surgery that year, but prior to that was struggling but could (or didn't) tell me what the problem was. Her boyfriend of a year had broken up with her, she had gained a considerable amount of weight, and I thought she was struggling with all of that. I knew there was a problem and feared suicide ... Wait feared doesn't describe what I felt ... I was absolutely panicked that she was heading in that direction. I found a counselor for her, and honestly it seemed to help in some respects. Fast forward a couple years and another boyfriend who she broke it off with, and is now in college. She still lives at home until she transfers next year. A couple months ago she was having trouble sleeping, and told me she wanted to again see the counselor which she has done a couple of times. The other night she told me she wants to transition to a boy (or I guess that'd be a man now at her age). I knew something was up and honestly I thought she was going to tell me she's gay. Caught me so off guard! She told me she doesn't like her body, her boobs, and has felt this way for "a long time." Now I'm concerned about the counselor I found, I certainly wouldn't want someone who is confirming such a huge life changing decision, but how do I find someone credible who might be able to help her work this stuff out? I know I'm rambling, but any insight would be so helpful.
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