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Posted by - 19-Jan-2020, 08:44 PM
(19-Jan-2020, 03:19 PM)Marge Bouvier Simpson Wrote: Hi Bluerose.

Welcome to the forum. I hope your son is willing to work on clearing his depression before turning to transition. Many are too quick to believe their depression is caused by needing to transition, but then find out after transition that the depression issue still looms large.

Your account has been activated if you would like to take your conversation to the members-only area. Best wishes and hope to see you there.
Thankyou
Posted by Marge Bouvier Simpson - 19-Jan-2020, 03:19 PM
Hi Bluerose.

Welcome to the forum. I hope your son is willing to work on clearing his depression before turning to transition. Many are too quick to believe their depression is caused by needing to transition, but then find out after transition that the depression issue still looms large.

Your account has been activated if you would like to take your conversation to the members-only area. Best wishes and hope to see you there.
Posted by Bluerose - 19-Jan-2020, 09:50 AM
Hi, I am so glad to find this forum, I am a mum to an adult son who has just announced he is transgender and wants to be a woman. He is also very depressed. I love my son and am there for him but wish I could show him this path is not the right one to take.
Posted by Marge Bouvier Simpson - 13-Jan-2020, 11:23 PM
Hello to the guest who posted right above this one. I hope you will join the board if you have not already. Inside the members-only forum you will find advice and support. Welcome. I do hope you will join. UP at the top of the page is a black bar, just click on the word "register" in that bar and follow the prompts. Once you've completed registration, your account must then be manually activated, which can take anywhere from an hour or two to a day.

I do hope you will consider registering.
Posted by - 10-Jan-2020, 02:24 PM
hi guys :). I am looking for help for me and my girl. i am from France
Posted by mrscarrey - 12-Dec-2019, 07:51 PM
(12-Dec-2019, 06:02 PM)Marge Bouvier Simpson Wrote: I still see your original post (with kiddo's name deleted), it is post #116 on this page. Post numbers are on the right-hand side of each post, toward the top of that post. Do you see your post?
Yes, thank you again!
Posted by Marge Bouvier Simpson - 12-Dec-2019, 06:02 PM
I still see your original post (with kiddo's name deleted), it is post #116 on this page. Post numbers are on the right-hand side of each post, toward the top of that post. Do you see your post?
Posted by mrscarrey - 12-Dec-2019, 05:49 PM
(12-Dec-2019, 04:20 PM)Marge Bouvier Simpson Wrote: Hello, mrscarrey, your account has now been activated.

Welcome to the board. I'm sorry yet another parent is dealing with this madness but glad you found us.

Let me now if you would like to move your post to the members-only section; you may not want to leave it here in the public area as it has some info that might identify you or your child. Editing your post is another option.

I hope you'll find the board helpful.

edit: I see you've removed your daughter's name from your post. Good thinking!

Oops, thanks, I went to remove the name and then it looks like my post got deleted?  Been a while since I've been on message boards. Thanks for the active membership.
Posted by Marge Bouvier Simpson - 12-Dec-2019, 04:20 PM
Hello, mrscarrey, your account has now been activated.

Welcome to the board. I'm sorry yet another parent is dealing with this madness but glad you found us.

Let me now if you would like to move your post to the members-only section; you may not want to leave it here in the public area as it has some info that might identify you or your child. Editing your post is another option.

I hope you'll find the board helpful.

edit: I see you've removed your daughter's name from your post. Good thinking!
Posted by mrscarrey - 12-Dec-2019, 04:04 PM
Hi, mom to 11 year old daughter here. Very creative, independent, always did her own thing, loves to role play, found "amino" chat group which shares art, but also has "communities" which include LGBTQ boards and I've found when kids post their artwork, they always assign a "gender and sexuality" to their characters, so she was probably introduced to these concepts online - other than basic discussions with us. 6th grade here is middle school and it's been very tough for her. Friends are changing, hormones (she's well into starting puberty, even started her first period - which she seemed excited about!), and has trouble staying focused on and turning in timely work at school. Also, found online video game - a psychological horror game called "Doki Doki Literature Club" where lesbians date each other, but one takes over the computer and you're forced to watch her manipulate all of the other girls to commit suicide. This along with the fact that she expresses feelings for girls (which we are totally fine with) I believe lead her to suicide ideation. After drawing scary pictures at school of nooses and cries for help, had to pick her up, go to crisis center and then 5 days in behavioral health facility. This has all been very surreal for us as she was always just a kid before 6th grade. There's a chance she may be high functioning spectrum, it's hard to know for sure and I've not had much luck in locating specialists in girls autism. Both my girls scored off the charts in reading in elementary school. When she went through intense feelings of sadness after starting 6th grade, starting working with a counselor. After 1.5 months, the counselor said she was going to start referring to her as "they/them" and asked us how we would feel about having a son instead of a daughter!! My husband and I were shocked to say the least! Now, I know that while transgender people exist and deserve dignity and respect for their feelings, we are talking about an 11 year old girl, who can't possibly understand what that life entails. I made the mistake of checking out LGBTQ books from the library in my effort to help her feel more comfortable about exploring, but these books included pro-nouns and transgender identities and I think she's become confused with normal feelings of not fitting in and of being a tomboy and possible lesbian with being born in the wrong body! I have serious grave concerns with "professionals" who just go along with the feelings of an 11 year old in terms of allowing them to so easily fall into the trap of social transition. We tried for a day or two and I just couldn't do it. She tried to use the men's bathroom once at the mall and ran out a minute later saying that "all the grown men were giving her bad looks" etc. To be honest, I was relieved, because that would only be the beginning of a very difficult life. I will not set my daughter down the path of social transition without allowing her to truly experience life as a girl and being gently reinforced that she is a girl and under no circumstances will I consider medical intervention. My hope is to help guide her and give her the tools to question herself so she can make the best decisions for her life. She has also brought up things like how girls and woman are depicted in media and how it's not fair that women can't play with men, etc, so she is obviously observing life and questioning these things. I did let her get her hair cut short and of course that made her feel excited and special at school which worries me that it reinforces, act like a boy to fit in. I am ok with clothing choices, hairstyle exploration, etc. but I don't want her to fall into an identity trap. We've also restricted all internet access at home. They don't like it, but I think it's helped. At this point, we're just trying to keep her engaged and talking to us (which she does and we're grateful) and will have her join some sports groups/ art groups etc to expand her circle of interests and friends. She still enjoys girl scouts and says she wants to stay in it (after asking another co-leader if one could be transgender and still be in girl scouts (sigh)). For now she's not pushed the "boy" issue for a little while and considers herself lesbian, but I have to be best prepared for if this issue raises it's head again. I am speaking with her counselor more at length tomorrow to see is she is the right fit. I've already expressed that I am not on board with supporting any type of transition and that my daughter needs to explore all others issues she's facing first. She said her goal was to create a "safe space" for my daughter to talk about anything. We'll see. Also, not sure if I can see any private forums or not? I don't think I can as everything seems to be under public umbrella? Thanks for reading...Concerned Parent!
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