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Thread Review (Newest First)
Posted by Marge Bouvier Simpson - 07-Oct-2021, 05:09 PM
(07-Oct-2021, 03:46 PM)Truth Seeker Wrote: I am SO happy to have found this group. Our 14-year-old daughter told us about a month ago she wants to change her pronouns to he/him and change her name. She was a very girly little girl, but since adolescence she has become much less feminine. Which is fine - I don't like gender stereotypes either! She was extremely angry when she started her period, and she vociferously says she doesn't want kids. She is dressing in baggy clothes and wearing her hair to cover her face, but less than a year ago she was really into cos play with frilly dresses and wigs. We've been in watch and wait mode, but now she is telling us she wants to pursue double mastectomy when she turns 18. She seems to be getting more serious about what we were hoping would just be a phase she would shift out of once she started high school. As I read more about gender "affirming" care, I've become more and more distressed about where we can go to help navigate this. I have so many questions about what is it we are actually affirming, while we are encouraging our daughters to reject their female bodies! I feel so sad that she is in danger of hijacking her high school experience, and we can't have normal parent/daughter conversations with her about normal growing up problems. My wish for her is to love her body, to grow into her sexuality and experience it positively. There is so much media trans-positive messaging, it's a nightmare to navigate, and we just have no idea how to talk to her about all of this. I can't wait until my account is approved and I can explore here to get advice and provider recommendations.

Hello and welcome.

I'm sorry to hear about what your daughter is going through. I hope you'll find the forum helpful. 

Your account has been activated.
Posted by Truth Seeker - 07-Oct-2021, 03:46 PM
I am SO happy to have found this group. Our 14-year-old daughter told us about a month ago she wants to change her pronouns to he/him and change her name. She was a very girly little girl, but since adolescence she has become much less feminine. Which is fine - I don't like gender stereotypes either! She was extremely angry when she started her period, and she vociferously says she doesn't want kids. She is dressing in baggy clothes and wearing her hair to cover her face, but less than a year ago she was really into cos play with frilly dresses and wigs. We've been in watch and wait mode, but now she is telling us she wants to pursue double mastectomy when she turns 18. She seems to be getting more serious about what we were hoping would just be a phase she would shift out of once she started high school. As I read more about gender "affirming" care, I've become more and more distressed about where we can go to help navigate this. I have so many questions about what is it we are actually affirming, while we are encouraging our daughters to reject their female bodies! I feel so sad that she is in danger of hijacking her high school experience, and we can't have normal parent/daughter conversations with her about normal growing up problems. My wish for her is to love her body, to grow into her sexuality and experience it positively. There is so much media trans-positive messaging, it's a nightmare to navigate, and we just have no idea how to talk to her about all of this. I can't wait until my account is approved and I can explore here to get advice and provider recommendations.
Posted by Marge Bouvier Simpson - 28-Sep-2021, 02:06 AM
[quote pid='51059' dateline='1632766854']
Hello, I am the mom of a 16-year-old girl who has gender dysphoria. Also anxiety and self-harm. She was always a very girly girl, much like many of the kids described here. She is starting with a psychiatrist this week and I am hoping to find some support for parents like me. Can my membership be approved?

Thank you,
HPS
[/quote]

Hello, 

Yes, I can activate your membership. Have you joined yet? If not, click on "regisre" in the black bar at the top of the screen to create a membership. Let me know if you need help.
Posted by - 27-Sep-2021, 06:20 PM
Hello, I am the mom of a 16-year-old girl who has gender dysphoria. Also anxiety and self-harm. She was always a very girly girl, much like many of the kids described here. She is starting with a psychiatrist this week and I am hoping to find some support for parents like me. Can my membership be approved?

Thank you,
HPS
Posted by Momof2boys - 19-Sep-2021, 02:10 AM
(27-Aug-2021, 07:41 PM)Waiting for some light Wrote:
(15-Jun-2021, 05:21 PM)Drowningonmyown Wrote: I'm new here My 16 year old son announced last August after spending 5 months isolated in his room on the Internet that he believed he was trans,To say we were shocked is an understatement anyway we struggled to understand where this had come from and after a lengthy talk and a few uncomfortable weeks he said he didn't think he was just felt he was unhappy with himself there is  history of depression and anxiety Anyway another 9 months of isolation and Internet and a recent friend who has come out as gender fluid and he's announced it again but just to me his mother this time I'm struggling so badly with this I just need to talk but everyone I've reached out to is telling me to start calling him she and get referrals for gender reassignment I'm just so lost up until 9 months ago this has never been mentioned or even hinted at he has 2 sisters too and has never showed any interest in any of their interests or past times he is also immature for his age and has mild ADD please someone tell me im not alone
My situation is similar. My 17 yo son just told me crying that he thinks he is trans. He has been isolated because covid, addicted to his computer and games; and hopefully now, that school is open, things will get better. He goes to an all boy school so there is the added need to conform to social norms. But it has been very difficult, for him who feels anxious and depressed and us as a family.

I was completely blindsided two weeks ago by my 17yo son emailing me to say he is trans and is ready for hormone replacement therapy. I’ve zero idea where this has come from. I’ve searched and searched for any signs that perhaps I missed, but have come up with nothing. He left for college in Colorado a month ago. There were no indications beforehand. He is open to meeting with a therapist but adamant about starting hormones. After reading and now searching and searching, I’ve not been able to find a therapist who won’t immediately affirm his wish to be female. I’m supporting him in that I tell him that he has my unconditional love and I will provide access to therapy. However, I don’t want him jumping into things. He seems to have done internet research but also gets lots of his information from Discord groups, which all seem to be affirming his wishes. I need help finding him a therapist who will be neutral about the gender dysphoria and actually get a good mental health assessment. He’s spend an enormous amount of time sequestered in his room over the last year and a half with COVid and virtual school. Did that contribute to this new revelation he has just shared?? Help!
Posted by - 09-Sep-2021, 01:39 PM
«Симфония» награждает лучших. Оригинальную систему мотивации собственных служб продаж разработало руководство сети салонов связи «Симфония». С пятнадцатого марта этого года до конца июня там проходила специальная акция среди менеджеров – те из них, кто подключит наибольшее количество абонентов сотового оператора «Мегафон»,
Posted by Worried-Wondering-Mom - 30-Aug-2021, 03:19 PM
(01-Jan-2018, 03:26 AM)Kassandra Wrote: Dear Dangerfox,
Welcome. You are among friends. We are all exploring here. Take a moment to breath - relax - explore some of the threads. My own daughter is close to the age of yours. My daughter has, gradually over the span of about a year, now desisted from the trans-fiction identity. There is hope, support and ideas shared generously from other parents just like you - me - us. Ask anything. We are here for you.
That's such good news.  My daughter is 12 and I just don't know what kind of state she's in.  I've noticed she's started using a nickname a lot at school, which is not terrible, because it is a shortened version of her name that some of us have used with her for years, but it is very gender neutral.  She is letting her hair grow out, but def not in a way that it will be long and feminine, more of a mid-length haircut that lots of tik tokkers have, and many of them who say they are trans.  She wears skirts fairly often, but just as often she wears long shorts and looks mostly like a preteen boy.  I drop her off at school and watch her walking in, hunched over, hands in pockets, like she's hiding.  in weird clothes with weird hair. while other kids walk in around her looking full of confidence.  i'm sure they aren't, but it's just my perception.  my husband thinks this is all a confidence thing and she will break out of this in a year or so. i just don't know.  and she's also very sullen and disprespectful with me.  i try to ignore a lot of that, choosing my battles.  but she's so very ungrateful for all she has, which is a lot.  this is so very hard.  i honestly just try to avoid most of this now and put it out of my mind.  she's asked for a friend to come over this weekend who i suspect is a very, very masculine girl.  i even asked here if this girl was trans, and she informed me angrily, no she is a cisgender girl.  i hate all this language.
Posted by Waiting for some light - 27-Aug-2021, 07:41 PM
(15-Jun-2021, 05:21 PM)Drowningonmyown Wrote: I'm new here My 16 year old son announced last August after spending 5 months isolated in his room on the Internet that he believed he was trans,To say we were shocked is an understatement anyway we struggled to understand where this had come from and after a lengthy talk and a few uncomfortable weeks he said he didn't think he was just felt he was unhappy with himself there is  history of depression and anxiety Anyway another 9 months of isolation and Internet and a recent friend who has come out as gender fluid and he's announced it again but just to me his mother this time I'm struggling so badly with this I just need to talk but everyone I've reached out to is telling me to start calling him she and get referrals for gender reassignment I'm just so lost up until 9 months ago this has never been mentioned or even hinted at he has 2 sisters too and has never showed any interest in any of their interests or past times he is also immature for his age and has mild ADD please someone tell me im not alone
My situation is similar. My 17 yo son just told me crying that he thinks he is trans. He has been isolated because covid, addicted to his computer and games; and hopefully now, that school is open, things will get better. He goes to an all boy school so there is the added need to conform to social norms. But it has been very difficult, for him who feels anxious and depressed and us as a family.
Posted by Marge Bouvier Simpson - 09-Aug-2021, 01:14 AM
(08-Aug-2021, 07:55 PM)koolzero Wrote: I’m a 42 male and I have an 11 year old daughter who last year told my wife she wanted to go by the name Noah instead of her given name. My wife is on board with buying her binders and affirming her decision because she says, “she loves her unconditionally” and I say you can love her but as parents we don’t have to do everything our 11 year old wants but we should not encourage the behavior. My wife has said that she will not put her on hormone therapy or allow her to have any medical procedures until she is an adult. I’ve read Abigail’s book and I’m trying to get my wife to read it but she says it’s unlikely to changed her opinion. I’ve also made the argument to my wife that if it was another type of dysmorphia like anorexia you do not affirm it. Not sure how I can get my wife to understand.

Welcome to the board, koolzero. Your account has been activated. I invite you to post in the members-only area where forum members are more likely to see your post and respond to it.

It is difficult when spouses aren't on the same page. I hope your wife will consider, with an open mind, the data your provide her. 
Best wishes, and welcome to the forum.
Posted by koolzero - 08-Aug-2021, 07:55 PM
I’m a 42 male and I have an 11 year old daughter who last year told my wife she wanted to go by the name Noah instead of her given name. My wife is on board with buying her binders and affirming her decision because she says, “she loves her unconditionally” and I say you can love her but as parents we don’t have to do everything our 11 year old wants but we should not encourage the behavior. My wife has said that she will not put her on hormone therapy or allow her to have any medical procedures until she is an adult. I’ve read Abigail’s book and I’m trying to get my wife to read it but she says it’s unlikely to changed her opinion. I’ve also made the argument to my wife that if it was another type of dysmorphia like anorexia you do not affirm it. Not sure how I can get my wife to understand.
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