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Posted by Marge Bouvier Simpson - 17-Oct-2020, 05:58 PM
(17-Oct-2020, 08:13 AM)StephLWK Wrote: These posts and stories are so familiar to me. Its like a fly on my wall whispered all my secrets to yall to repeat here. Im glad I found this resource and to know that my husband and I are not alone in our feelings regarding our 12 yo daughters sudden "gender identity crisis". She expressed extreme discomfort with the fact that her body is not right and it doesn't fit her. For a 12yo she unfortunately does have a much larger chest than the girls around her and I'm sure that comments have been made to her, which only reinforces her discomfort. She prefers large, baggy clothes for this reason. We support her choices regarding clothing and hair, but we have made it clear that while she is underage and living in our house she is our DAUGHTER and will be referred to by her/she and her birth name and will not be allowed to undergo any kind of medical procedures regarding transition. No exceptions. We have have also limited her access to tech. No more phone period. She can use the laptop where we can see what is on the screen at all times. She has been diagnosed with depression and anxiety, both of which she is taking medication for and we have noticed an improvement in her overall happiness. Her attitude still leaves much to be desired in that she is very snarky towards everyone, but I contribute that to normal teenage angst. Im sure this may seem harsh to some, but my husband and I are in total agreement about it and we delivered this message to our daughter during a long session of Q and A regarding her feelings and her answers indicated to us that this is born out of social pressures and that she is in no way mature enough to even articulate what she wants, let alone make a life altering decision regarding her supposed wants. Again, so glad I found this and I hope my registration goes thru soon so that I can fully use this wonderful site!! Thank you!

Hi StephLWK and thanks for joining. Your membership has now been activated. 

Your story sounds very much like so many others here. It also sounds like you're off to a strong start by limiting your daughter's online time and telling her you won't go along with any he/him nonsense, while allowing her to dress as she pleases. 

Welcome to the forum. You are not alone.
Posted by StephLWK - 17-Oct-2020, 08:13 AM
These posts and stories are so familiar to me. Its like a fly on my wall whispered all my secrets to yall to repeat here. Im glad I found this resource and to know that my husband and I are not alone in our feelings regarding our 12 yo daughters sudden "gender identity crisis". She expressed extreme discomfort with the fact that her body is not right and it doesn't fit her. For a 12yo she unfortunately does have a much larger chest than the girls around her and I'm sure that comments have been made to her, which only reinforces her discomfort. She prefers large, baggy clothes for this reason. We support her choices regarding clothing and hair, but we have made it clear that while she is underage and living in our house she is our DAUGHTER and will be referred to by her/she and her birth name and will not be allowed to undergo any kind of medical procedures regarding transition. No exceptions. We have have also limited her access to tech. No more phone period. She can use the laptop where we can see what is on the screen at all times. She has been diagnosed with depression and anxiety, both of which she is taking medication for and we have noticed an improvement in her overall happiness. Her attitude still leaves much to be desired in that she is very snarky towards everyone, but I contribute that to normal teenage angst. Im sure this may seem harsh to some, but my husband and I are in total agreement about it and we delivered this message to our daughter during a long session of Q and A regarding her feelings and her answers indicated to us that this is born out of social pressures and that she is in no way mature enough to even articulate what she wants, let alone make a life altering decision regarding her supposed wants. Again, so glad I found this and I hope my registration goes thru soon so that I can fully use this wonderful site!! Thank you!
Posted by Marge Bouvier Simpson - 06-Oct-2020, 04:22 PM
Hello Brown555, your account has been activated and you now have access to the members-only forums.

I hope you'll find this forum helpful. Welcome.
Posted by BROWN555 - 06-Oct-2020, 03:42 PM
(12-Oct-2017, 09:30 PM)admin Wrote: Hello, how can I join this forum. My son recently made the transgender declaration and we are at a loss. In trying to research what to do I have come across the affirming approach and this just seems crazy. How can a 14 year old suddenly "know" they are the opposite sec. Since when did belief equal truth?! I am looking for non-affirming resources and want to find a therapist for my wonderful gifted and unique son to talk to about the complex feelings that he has. 
Help!!!
-Brown555

The Gender Critical Support Board is run for parents and families by parents and families who share the experience of coping with a child, teenager or young adult who believes she or he is transgender. 

We are critical of the phenomenon of transgender youth growing at epidemic rates. 

The forum provides support for parents and families who would like a thoughtful and cautious approach to intervention for their gender dysphoric child. 

Most of the content is only visible to members of the board. This, publicly visible, forum is here to share what the board is about and provide a space for the members to have a voice.

Together, we share our stories, promote public awareness and respectful protest, and seek solutions and answers to questions. 

If you have a child who has desisted from a trans identification, your presence is especially welcome on the forum, and we hope you will join us. You can help other parents learn how to help their child resolve his or her distress without resorting to life-long medical intervention. 

There is strength in numbers. If parents find each other, we can offer each other support and know we are not alone. We can have a louder voice when speaking to schools, professionals, and policy makers. Please come find us. We look forward to seeing you there.
Posted by icemanch - 19-Sep-2020, 06:20 PM
(02-Aug-2020, 09:06 PM)vegmonster Wrote: I am a nervous wreck! How do I save my girls from the worlds evil hiding behind politically correctnes stripping my beautiful girls of their self esteem, self worth, their rights as a woman and ultimately in the end their souls. They should be able to use the internet without falling prey and influenced to become something they are not. Why are there not any filters we can put in place to keep the predators at bay? Our children deserve so much more then the hand they are being dealt. Are there any support groups that I can join that discuss what to do about this epidemic? I need to be part of the change in order to feel I am advocating for the well being of my children!


Look into opendns.com   My daughter has been spending a lot of time on the internet and just recently told us she was non-binary.  We realized we made a mistake letting her have to much freedom on the internet.  She's mad at us for taking all of the chat rooms away but, hopefully we can help her make good decisions in the long run without all of the internet telling her she has to have a label at her age.
Posted by hazaka - 17-Sep-2020, 12:43 AM
Literally word for word, fact for fact identical story to our daughter. She is now 20, extremely immature, but still steadfast in the beliefs...but has not taken any medical steps yet, thankfully. I feel for you...know that you are not alone!
Take care of yourself!
Posted by Marge Bouvier Simpson - 16-Sep-2020, 11:51 PM
(16-Sep-2020, 06:07 PM)mkochend Wrote: Hi, I’m new the forum, but I’ve been grappling with the same issue that so many of you describe. My daughter has adopted this idea that she is trans and now identifies as a boy (with the short hair, baggy clothes and sweatshirts in the summer, unshaven legs, etc.). I’ve made my stance clear, and I’ve tried to tell her that perhaps there are underlying issues causing her to feel depressed—issues with self-confidence and self-image. I’m scared to take her to a psychologist or therapist because I don’t want this belief of hers to be affirmed. I’m already feeling alienated—the high school she attends affirms this desire to identify as a boy and has allowed her to do so without contacting (or conferring with) me. I’ve threatened to take away access to YouTube and the internet in general, but she responds by accusing me not having her best interests in mind and wanting her to feel alone and depressed. I try to avoid the topic of gender as much as possible now because it always sparks argument. I can tell that her assertions in our arguments are the template types spoken by YouTube personalities who make non-supportive parents out to be the enemy. 

I’m just at the end of my rope, and I know there’s not much I can do, but it is comforting to find a group of parents who know how this feels. I totally subscribe to the idea that ROGD is real—my daughter’s closest friend is a girl who also identifies as a boy, and this whole idea really took hold of her when she entered high school last year and became friends with a group of teens identifying as trans. 

Hello and welcome.
Your account has been activated. I hope you will find the members-only forums useful and helpful.
Posted by mkochend - 16-Sep-2020, 06:07 PM
Hi, I’m new the forum, but I’ve been grappling with the same issue that so many of you describe. My daughter has adopted this idea that she is trans and now identifies as a boy (with the short hair, baggy clothes and sweatshirts in the summer, unshaven legs, etc.). I’ve made my stance clear, and I’ve tried to tell her that perhaps there are underlying issues causing her to feel depressed—issues with self-confidence and self-image. I’m scared to take her to a psychologist or therapist because I don’t want this belief of hers to be affirmed. I’m already feeling alienated—the high school she attends affirms this desire to identify as a boy and has allowed her to do so without contacting (or conferring with) me. I’ve threatened to take away access to YouTube and the internet in general, but she responds by accusing me not having her best interests in mind and wanting her to feel alone and depressed. I try to avoid the topic of gender as much as possible now because it always sparks argument. I can tell that her assertions in our arguments are the template types spoken by YouTube personalities who make non-supportive parents out to be the enemy. 

I’m just at the end of my rope, and I know there’s not much I can do, but it is comforting to find a group of parents who know how this feels. I totally subscribe to the idea that ROGD is real—my daughter’s closest friend is a girl who also identifies as a boy, and this whole idea really took hold of her when she entered high school last year and became friends with a group of teens identifying as trans. 
Posted by Marge Bouvier Simpson - 08-Sep-2020, 01:05 AM
(08-Sep-2020, 12:57 AM)Scooterbink Wrote: My 19 y/o daughter, who is on the autism spectrum (high-functioning) recently came out as trans-male. She wears either gender-neutral clothes or male clothes. She's yet to seek out prescriptions for testosterone, but I notice that she is taking a natural supplement that says it stops estrogen (she's hoping it will change her voice; it's not). She says she doesn't want top surgery at this time, but she changed her name (we aren't calling her that).

She's pretty much online most free hours of her waking schedule (which is mostly nocturnal); this has been going on for years. She has a history of cutting, suicidal ideation, suicide attempts, depression, anxiety, dabbled with drinking alcohol and huffing, and for a year thought she was anorexic and even went into inpatient treatment when she refused to try having healthy eating habits. She has difficulty regulating herself when she is angry, but mostly she doesn't know how to navigate offline/in-person social situations, and misinterprets social situations/people. She is sexually promiscuous online yet she exhibits extreme paranoia when around males who might give even the smallest hint of attraction to her, and despite identifying as bisexual, she hasn't attempted to get out there in the offline world to try dating in a real way.

She is an adult now, so she can make her own choices. But my husband and I strongly feel that we need to somehow communicate to her the risks of testosterone and top surgery, if she tries to pursue this (we'll drop her from our insurance if she does). We also want to communicate to her what we are learning about Rapid Onset Gender Dysphoria (ROGD) by what we are currently reading (going through a GREAT book by Abigail Shrier right now). But before we do that, we feel like we need to also hear from other families going through the same thing, learn from them, and also hopefully find support too. Thanks!

Hello, scooterbink. I'm sorry to hear of yet another family dealing with yet another autistic kid who believes they are the opposite sex. So many of our stories start with the same basic details. 

Your account has been activated. I hope you'll find the forum useful.

Welcome.
Posted by June4me - 08-Sep-2020, 12:57 AM
My 19 y/o daughter, who is on the autism spectrum (high-functioning) recently came out as trans-male. She wears either gender-neutral clothes or male clothes. She's yet to seek out prescriptions for testosterone, but I notice that she is taking a natural supplement that says it stops estrogen (she's hoping it will change her voice; it's not). She says she doesn't want top surgery at this time, but she changed her name (we aren't calling her that).

She's pretty much online most free hours of her waking schedule (which is mostly nocturnal); this has been going on for years. She has a history of cutting, suicidal ideation, suicide attempts, depression, anxiety, dabbled with drinking alcohol and huffing, and for a year thought she was anorexic and even went into inpatient treatment when she refused to try having healthy eating habits. She has difficulty regulating herself when she is angry, but mostly she doesn't know how to navigate offline/in-person social situations, and misinterprets social situations/people. She is sexually promiscuous online yet she exhibits extreme paranoia when around males who might give even the smallest hint of attraction to her, and despite identifying as bisexual, she hasn't attempted to get out there in the offline world to try dating in a real way.

She is an adult now, so she can make her own choices. But my husband and I strongly feel that we need to somehow communicate to her the risks of testosterone and top surgery, if she tries to pursue this (we'll drop her from our insurance if she does). We also want to communicate to her what we are learning about Rapid Onset Gender Dysphoria (ROGD) by what we are currently reading (going through a GREAT book by Abigail Shrier right now). But before we do that, we feel like we need to also hear from other families going through the same thing, learn from them, and also hopefully find support too. Thanks!
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