(02-Aug-2020, 09:06 PM)vegmonster Wrote: I am a nervous wreck! How do I save my girls from the worlds evil hiding behind politically correctnes stripping my beautiful girls of their self esteem, self worth, their rights as a woman and ultimately in the end their souls. They should be able to use the internet without falling prey and influenced to become something they are not. Why are there not any filters we can put in place to keep the predators at bay? Our children deserve so much more then the hand they are being dealt. Are there any support groups that I can join that discuss what to do about this epidemic? I need to be part of the change in order to feel I am advocating for the well being of my children!
Look into opendns.com My daughter has been spending a lot of time on the internet and just recently told us she was non-binary. We realized we made a mistake letting her have to much freedom on the internet. She's mad at us for taking all of the chat rooms away but, hopefully we can help her make good decisions in the long run without all of the internet telling her she has to have a label at her age.
(12-Oct-2017, 09:30 PM)admin Wrote: Hello, how can I join this forum. My son recently made the transgender declaration and we are at a loss. In trying to research what to do I have come across the affirming approach and this just seems crazy. How can a 14 year old suddenly "know" they are the opposite sec. Since when did belief equal truth?! I am looking for non-affirming resources and want to find a therapist for my wonderful gifted and unique son to talk to about the complex feelings that he has.
Help!!!
-Brown555
The Gender Critical Support Board is run for parents and families by parents and families who share the experience of coping with a child, teenager or young adult who believes she or he is transgender.
We are critical of the phenomenon of transgender youth growing at epidemic rates.
The forum provides support for parents and families who would like a thoughtful and cautious approach to intervention for their gender dysphoric child.
Most of the content is only visible to members of the board. This, publicly visible, forum is here to share what the board is about and provide a space for the members to have a voice.
Together, we share our stories, promote public awareness and respectful protest, and seek solutions and answers to questions.
If you have a child who has desisted from a trans identification, your presence is especially welcome on the forum, and we hope you will join us. You can help other parents learn how to help their child resolve his or her distress without resorting to life-long medical intervention.
There is strength in numbers. If parents find each other, we can offer each other support and know we are not alone. We can have a louder voice when speaking to schools, professionals, and policy makers. Please come find us. We look forward to seeing you there.
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Hello Brown555, your account has been activated and you now have access to the members-only forums.
I hope you'll find this forum helpful. Welcome.
These posts and stories are so familiar to me. Its like a fly on my wall whispered all my secrets to yall to repeat here. Im glad I found this resource and to know that my husband and I are not alone in our feelings regarding our 12 yo daughters sudden "gender identity crisis". She expressed extreme discomfort with the fact that her body is not right and it doesn't fit her. For a 12yo she unfortunately does have a much larger chest than the girls around her and I'm sure that comments have been made to her, which only reinforces her discomfort. She prefers large, baggy clothes for this reason. We support her choices regarding clothing and hair, but we have made it clear that while she is underage and living in our house she is our DAUGHTER and will be referred to by her/she and her birth name and will not be allowed to undergo any kind of medical procedures regarding transition. No exceptions. We have have also limited her access to tech. No more phone period. She can use the laptop where we can see what is on the screen at all times. She has been diagnosed with depression and anxiety, both of which she is taking medication for and we have noticed an improvement in her overall happiness. Her attitude still leaves much to be desired in that she is very snarky towards everyone, but I contribute that to normal teenage angst. Im sure this may seem harsh to some, but my husband and I are in total agreement about it and we delivered this message to our daughter during a long session of Q and A regarding her feelings and her answers indicated to us that this is born out of social pressures and that she is in no way mature enough to even articulate what she wants, let alone make a life altering decision regarding her supposed wants. Again, so glad I found this and I hope my registration goes thru soon so that I can fully use this wonderful site!! Thank you!
Posts: 3,354
Threads: 210
Joined: Aug 2017
(17-Oct-2020, 08:13 AM)StephLWK Wrote: These posts and stories are so familiar to me. Its like a fly on my wall whispered all my secrets to yall to repeat here. Im glad I found this resource and to know that my husband and I are not alone in our feelings regarding our 12 yo daughters sudden "gender identity crisis". She expressed extreme discomfort with the fact that her body is not right and it doesn't fit her. For a 12yo she unfortunately does have a much larger chest than the girls around her and I'm sure that comments have been made to her, which only reinforces her discomfort. She prefers large, baggy clothes for this reason. We support her choices regarding clothing and hair, but we have made it clear that while she is underage and living in our house she is our DAUGHTER and will be referred to by her/she and her birth name and will not be allowed to undergo any kind of medical procedures regarding transition. No exceptions. We have have also limited her access to tech. No more phone period. She can use the laptop where we can see what is on the screen at all times. She has been diagnosed with depression and anxiety, both of which she is taking medication for and we have noticed an improvement in her overall happiness. Her attitude still leaves much to be desired in that she is very snarky towards everyone, but I contribute that to normal teenage angst. Im sure this may seem harsh to some, but my husband and I are in total agreement about it and we delivered this message to our daughter during a long session of Q and A regarding her feelings and her answers indicated to us that this is born out of social pressures and that she is in no way mature enough to even articulate what she wants, let alone make a life altering decision regarding her supposed wants. Again, so glad I found this and I hope my registration goes thru soon so that I can fully use this wonderful site!! Thank you!
Hi StephLWK and thanks for joining. Your membership has now been activated.
Your story sounds very much like so many others here. It also sounds like you're off to a strong start by limiting your daughter's online time and telling her you won't go along with any he/him nonsense, while allowing her to dress as she pleases.
Welcome to the forum. You are not alone.
I'm nearly in tears reading these stories and worried for my daughter.
She has always feminine; dresses, hair, earings etc but happy to do anything - climb trees, get muddy etc. She is 13 years old and in a group of friends where they encourage each other to be LGBTQ - Straight, cis is just dull.
Several months ago she announced she was gender fluid, but I refused to go along and said she had to experiment a whole lot more before deciding on her gender. This morning she had a melt down as I still refuse to use gender neutral pronouns. I don't believe she's gender fluid, but don't want to ruin our relationship let alone have her going down the self-harm route because I'm not supporting her.
3 years ago she announced she was muslim and took 2 1/2 years to change her mind. I don't want to be held to this for so long. Which route do I take - accept and go along, although it doesn't seem to make her happy, or continue to resist?
I am in a similar situation but even harder because my son is 23 and away in grad school. He waited until he was at out-of-state college for the first time to tell us. We too cry every day and are desperate. We cannot just take away phone and electronics because he does not live with us. He won't even come home for christmas or thanksgiving because of "covid" he says. A therapist took 3 short sessions to tell him he has "gender dyshporia". We just found out he is seeing a psychiatrist and already on hormones which were given to him in one visit by an endocrinologist. We feel like we are in a nightmare. This beautiful boy now has let his hair grow and he looks like a crazy person. He also now has little boobs. We are so sad and feel so helpless. I found on kelseycoalition.org lots of good information, but where do we turn for help? There was a testimonial of someone who saw a therapist through skype in UK and that therapist said "no gender dysphoria" for the child and that helped turn the child around. I think if any real psychologist/therapist took the time to evaluate my son and try to get to the root of the problem, they too would say "no gender dysphoria" just depression. Who can we turn to for help? We just pray. Please advise.
Thanks!
Posts: 3,354
Threads: 210
Joined: Aug 2017
[quote pid='43531' dateline='1606114021']
I am in a similar situation but even harder because my son is 23 and away in grad school. He waited until he was at out-of-state college for the first time to tell us. We too cry every day and are desperate. We cannot just take away phone and electronics because he does not live with us. He won't even come home for christmas or thanksgiving because of "covid" he says. A therapist took 3 short sessions to tell him he has "gender dyshporia". We just found out he is seeing a psychiatrist and already on hormones which were given to him in one visit by an endocrinologist. We feel like we are in a nightmare. This beautiful boy now has let his hair grow and he looks like a crazy person. He also now has little boobs. We are so sad and feel so helpless. I found on kelseycoalition.org lots of good information, but where do we turn for help? There was a testimonial of someone who saw a therapist through skype in UK and that therapist said "no gender dysphoria" for the child and that helped turn the child around. I think if any real psychologist/therapist took the time to evaluate my son and try to get to the root of the problem, they too would say "no gender dysphoria" just depression. Who can we turn to for help? We just pray. Please advise.
Thanks!
[/quote]
Hello, guest. I'm sorry to hear what you're dealing with and that your son has been prescribed hormones without proper investigation into his thought process and mental health.
I invite you to register and join our support board so that you may read and post in the members-only area. This public portion of the forum does not get much traffic from our members. You'll receive more support and more responses if you post your story in the members-only area. To join, you do not need to use your real name or any identifying information. To ensure your privacy, choose a screen name that does not reveal your identity. You do need an email address to join; your email will never be visible on the forum but for your peace of mind you can always join with an anonymous email, as well.
I do hope you will join. You'll find a community of parents you'll be able to converse with, who are in similar situations to yours.
Posts: 3,354
Threads: 210
Joined: Aug 2017
[quote pid='43495' dateline='1605973712']
I'm nearly in tears reading these stories and worried for my daughter.
She has always feminine; dresses, hair, earings etc but happy to do anything - climb trees, get muddy etc. She is 13 years old and in a group of friends where they encourage each other to be LGBTQ - Straight, cis is just dull.
Several months ago she announced she was gender fluid, but I refused to go along and said she had to experiment a whole lot more before deciding on her gender. This morning she had a melt down as I still refuse to use gender neutral pronouns. I don't believe she's gender fluid, but don't want to ruin our relationship let alone have her going down the self-harm route because I'm not supporting her.
3 years ago she announced she was muslim and took 2 1/2 years to change her mind. I don't want to be held to this for so long. Which route do I take - accept and go along, although it doesn't seem to make her happy, or continue to resist?
[/quote]
Hello guest,
Your story is so very familiar. You've hit the nail on the head that being "cis" or "straight" or the dreaded "cisheteronormative" is considered much too dull by many kids today. In some of these kids' minds, taking on a trans/queer identity is just the ticket to set them apart and maybe even garner them some extra attention or special treatment.
Regarding advice for handling this, you are in a tricky position, because using your daughter's requested pronouns can help cement her new identity and make it more difficult for her to desist, but refusing to use them can drive a wedge between the two of you. Because she is so young and has a history of this kind of thing, I recommend against using the pronouns. Your daughter is young enough that you can tell her she is too young for labels of any kind and that her identity will be constantly evolving for the next decade or more. She is simply too young to know what she will be like in 10 or 15 years. She should avoid labels at all costs at this point in her life.
I encourage you to register an account here and post your questions in the members-only area, as this public area of the forum doesn't get too much traffic from forum members. Other members will have more and better advice. Additionally, the members-only area has around three years' worth of threads containing information, resources and advice for your perusal.
Welcome to the forum. You are not alone.
thx much for the invitation :).
PS: How are you? I am from France :) very good forum :) mixx
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